housewife, or career woman

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after i had my first child i was eager to get back to work, i wanted to go back to the money, however when i started again i could feel my belly aching, the kind of ache you get when you miss something, or know that something is wrong. I used to think that people on benefits were losers, and lazy!! however, how my opinion has changed!! since having my daughter my only income is from benefits and i have suffered a severe drop in wages, however i feel uncomfortable working, what if i missed her 1st steps, 1st word etc? the day that she held her hands out to the nursery workers when i came to pick her up and she actually cried for them, made me realise i needed to be at home with her. Is there a healthy balanace in between? bear in mind i am a single parent, at the minute i am living benefit payday to benefit payday and searching high and low for internet ways to make money any words of advice or wisdom for me? thanks :D ps i may be short of money however i am ecstatically happy and wake up with a smile on my face! its only when i think about future plans of houses and mortgages etc that it brings me back down to earth!