Dealing With Rudeness

Always remember: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt. ;) First of all, I'm sorry that you had the misfortune of running into a catty woman. Unfortunately, they're out there. And the problem isn't you, at all, m'dear. The problem is them. They are miserable folks and like to see other folks miserable as well. In response to your question, though, how would I have handled it if the same remark was made to me ... I'd have probably smiled my most charming smile and said "Well, lady, the world needs chubby hookers, too!" Just because it would have made it clear to her that she couldn't take the wind out of my sails, as it were, and it would have been quite a little shocker. :) I'm evil that way, I guess. ;)

In this world there are many sorts of people, and each will have different opinions. To get involved in negative comments will only take more of our time, feeling and destroy the mood. Just like this unpleasant situation. In that situation, you could have just said to her “Thank you” and ignore her and do your shopping happily. Most properly, this lady would have been frustrated because you totally ignored her and you continued doing your shopping happily. In one of the Internet training, A question was raised, what would you do if you had a stupid and a sarcastic remark or question. The reply we got, just delete the question and the email of that person. We do not want such name in our list that gives us problems. There are so many nice people out there for you. The decision is yours whether you want to ponder on it and waste time or just move on

Some people have a lot of nerves. She's so lucky you are a person of good character, because some ladies I know would have gave her a good peace of their mind. Don't let anyone get you down. If you feel good about yourself, that's all that matters. I can't believe how rude she was. People never cease to amaze me. Lloyd

What a horrible thing to say and what a horrible person to say it. I'm always amazed at the cheek of some people and would probably have replied along the lines of "Dear Pot, love Kettle" I bet she was no oil painting herself. I hope you don't let the stupid ignorant old bag upset you too much

When people say No offense but or Don't take this the wrong way, I stop them cold and tell them then don't say it. I don't understand why people even try those lines! If you don't want to offend someone and you think you might then you should keep your mouth shut! In my humble opinion. I am sorry someone was so rude to you hon.

That was really rude...I mean it's one thing if a friend makes some kind of comment like that, of course won't make you feel any better about it, but for a perfect stranger. What did this woman look like? Was she a pillar of society? A fashion plate or expert? Want to hear a bizzare story of my own. I'm part Native American and I'm proud of my heritage, so I always wear some Native American silver and turquoise jewelry...Well one day I'm in the supermarket and waiting on line at the check out and this older woman say in her late 70s maybe 80s is staring at me (I, uh, actually get stared a lot for the way I dress but really don't give a s**t)--So she starts yakking away and asking me, "Oh, have you been to New Mexico...I notice all that Indian jewelry you're wearing" I said no, never been to New Mexico...I got a lot of my jewelry in the village (the famous Greenwich Village here in NY)--and mentioned that I wear my jewelry since I'm part Native American...and I want to wear something to reflect my heritage. So she starts yakking more of how terrible the way this country used to treat Indians...and by the way I can tell you're Indian from your Nez... Okay explanation....there is a group of Native Americans called the Nez Perce...Nez is a corruption of the French word for nose spelled nez but pronounced like nay. Now the thing is for some reason Native Americans seemed to have gotten the stereotype reputation of having rather large noses...not true... Okay there is a point to this..in other words this woman said she recognized that I was Native American from my Nez..my nose...What do you think of that? I mean I know I don't have a cute button nose but never thought I was Jimmy Durante either...Think that was rude too--no?--Oh, but do have a sense of humor...kind of funny in a way, but still rude at the same time.

Oh my-- Did this woman even know you? I can't imagine walking up to anyone I didn't know or knew and tell them that kind of stuff- How rude is correct- I would have smiled and said Do I know you?-- then walked away. I hope that it didn't bring you down to long- I probably would have laughed also-- laughed at her. I'm glad noone has ever done this to me.. If I were in the situation I might act differently--

This is over the top. I find it so hard to believe that some people are that rude. Somehow in their feeble mind they actually think they are doing you a favor by pointing out what they consider to be your flaws. If it were to just be mean they have to expect to get hit so I am sure she thought she was being helpful. There are many people out there who have no concept of what rude is. What ever they think must be the generally held opinion and they are more than willing to share it. I was trying to think what would happen if a man approached another man and said such things. No matter the motivation the fight would be on. There is no doubt you looked very good. For her, in her warped view of the world, to approach you and say such things is unforgivable. But because you let her get away with it she more than likely thought she did her good deed for the day. But it is too bad that you let her thoughtlessness and poor opinion ruin a good day. But of course it would do that to almost anyone. Perhaps a critical look up and down her frame and a comment about how bad she looked would have helped. But of course she would have been highly offended.

I'd have said Really I'm 75, how old does it make me look, and yes, I'm a little overweight! Big deal. As for the make up, you may have just been wearing the wrong eveshadow colours for your skintone and blouse colour.

I am absolutely appauled that someone would say that to you. I don't wear much make-up either (usually just mascara & lip gloss) but if I were out in public, having a good day, feeling good, and someone said that to me I probably would have looked at them, said thanks very sarcasticaly, and done as you did (bought what was in the cart and headed home.) I can understand you wanting to smack her, and your right it was VERY uncalled for. Who the hell is she to judge anyone? I am so sorry that happened to you. I think your a beautiful, inteligent, woman, and a great friend :)

Aw... I am sorry to read that your special day had been thus wrecked. :/ As for how I react, it would depend on what I think that person is trying to achieve. If that person (a stranger no doubt) appears to be genuinely concerned, I would say thank you politely and try not let it bother me. If that person was obviously trying to be offensive, that would be a different matter altogether. I would probably think of something nasty about her and return her in her own coin. :P

There are many things, comments and remarks which should be ignored. When I was a kid I was remarked by my principal that, " I don't deserve to be in school, instead I should be in some gang of some spoiled and rotten stupids. " I took that as a challenge and worked hard on my painting and sculptures. After some four years I had my solo painting exhibition and when I was asked by whom do you want to get it inaugrated by. I simple said my principal. Everybody was shocked as they thought I will ask about any minister or so. The day she inaugrated exhibition and I was having press conference , press reporters asked me about motivation for working hard in this art field. I just told in public about what I had recieved four years back and I think this is revenge of that. ( now I think that was kiddish but still she got what she deserved ). If I would have been on your place , I would have said on her face that this is my life and let me handle it. Let me live like what I desire to. It's better to express ourselves then feel guilty after some time for not responding such kind of behaviour.

It's just amazing what horrible things people will say to perfect strangers. That was uncalled for. I would have smiled and asked her where she learned her manners because they were definately lacking, then I would have walked away with my head held high. I had self esteem issues for years, and was worried about what others thought of me until I got to the point where I told myself consistently that it didn't matter what others thought of me, that I am a good person with a lot of good qualities, and if someone wants to be mean, or not like me without getting to know me, then that is their problem and their loss. Attitude is half the battle, I walk with my head up now and made a consious effort to smile more and I feel better about myself.

Honestly? I probably would have started to cry and would have had to leave the store. Or I would have hauled off and punched her. It would depend on my mood that day. I can't believe someone would do that to you. It's just unreal. What a horrible, hateful person. I am so sorry that on your good day, you ran into a bad person.

There will always be that someone who will rain in your parade. If I were you I would have ignored her after all she is only just one person. You don't know here either so don't mind her.If you believe you look good then have your chin up and walk past her. For all you know she could just have been envious of you. You said you have gotten a lot of compliments when you wore that dress before so it is a proof that you look good. Keep that in mind. :)

I would have been flabbergasted first, then angry. Being a tad bit on the spiteful side, I would have probably pointed out a few of their flaws within minutes just to make myself momentarily feel better. :( Sorry you had to go through such a horrible ordeal. Some people are so incredibly self absorbed.

hi, that was rude. you should know that even if the woman was right that is such deplorable behavior to walk up to anyone and pass judgment like that. boy howdy some people are as smooth as 40 grit sand paper. a proper response i my mind would be you do not look bad for a woman in her 90s, lol. another answer, gee granny your underwear is showing at your neckline, lol. one more, no ma'am, i do not know where the denture cream and depends are. the world would be so much better with out people like that, they must be lonely miserable creatures at heart. mahalo, oahu lopaka

Honestly, I probably would have burst into tears and went home but then I have glass feelings. If I didn't have glass feelings, I would have looked at her and asked her for her home phone number and when she asked why...reply "Why to get your opinion on everything of course." lol. I had the same thing happen this morning...I got up, felt good, was in an upbeat mood and decided to check MyLot. I had posted a discussion concerning baby names the day before and decided to check it. Someone took offense to the topic and criticized me...ending with if I didn't like certain names I should get pregnant, have my own kids and name them what I want. Little did that person know that I'm not able to have kids...so that comment hit a little too close to home. My good mood was gone, my day was ruined and I've been pretty well bummed every since. I'll get over it but it'll take a little time...ah, glass feelings. LIVE IN PEACE

Gosh, some people are just so rude and insensitive. If I was in your place though, I wouldn't care about her opinion as I don't really know her anyways so her opinions shouldn't matter. I would have just pretended not to hear anything and went on shopping! I'm the type of person who really doesn't care what other people think of me unless they're family or friends so I don't let a strangers opinion get to me. I wouldn't let people like that ruin an otherwise very nice day.

That is awful. How or why would anyone want to be so cruel and insensitive? I am sure you looked very nice and the amount of make up you wore could in no way meet that description. In that situation I think I would have either broke down in tears there and then. Or I would have given her what for! How dare she! Don't let it put you off making an effort again.