The holidays, not always a joyous occassion

Yes sometimes it's a bit frustrating especially if there are a lot of people. My brother never meddle with our cousins on holidays especially christmas except on opening gifts. There are instances wherein everyone in the family is in the family / reunion picture except him. I sometimes force him to join us but he ends up with tantrums that drives everyone (especially those who cannot understand) into nuts. I would still rather spend my time with my brother though because i know that he needs me as his companion in this oh well.. cruel world

Yes holidays are difficult to spend if a child has autism, as they have to be occuppied all the time otherwise they get frustrated and also make you also get exhausted the other siblings also are affected even if you have to go for an outing or shopping on holidays it is difficult with a child with autism, anyway life has to go on, God has allowed our child to get autism with a special plan in his life so i think we can seek the Lord's face ask for his wisdom and continue to lean on him and hope to enjoy our holidays too.

Hello Lvmybx. I am writing because I was struck by your letter, what I am going to say I swear is not a criticism of you, but perhaps an other way to look at things.From you post I get the feeling you have certain expectations of your son and those are not even near being met.Can you imagine your self set down in the middle of China at a festival, but you do not know the language or their cultural back ground, But you are expected to join in and be like everyone else. I know your son understands your language, but what he may not remember is what the special holidays are about. I have dementia, and I truly do understand what it is like to forget, or just plain" NOT GET" something. I would get so upset with myself because I was supposed to remember something, or I would read something and Not get what it meant, . At last I came to understand that this was the way I am, I am not the way I am supposed to be I am just me. My expectations are no longer based on what "Should be" but rather what is. You have an Autistic child he is what he is, and if you keep feeling unhappy because he is not meeting your expectations then both of you are loosing out on what is. If you can put your expectations aside and enjoy the moment and not grieve for what is lost. I think you have been given a special child for a reason, and it is not punishment nor blame it is because you have the capacity to love and support this little fellow in his own journey, Again this is never meant as a criticism, just another way to possibley look at a new idea, remember this is just my opinion, and you are most certainly free to think I am full of it or I may have inspired you to do something a bit different. What ever the case I only wish you and your family peace and joy Robin

The holidays are hard! :) I am a mother of a boy who is almost four and we have went through Christmas after Christams, Birthday after birthday, and Easter after Easter always hoping he would show more interest this time...And it has been frustrating and sad as I have wrapped the gifts hoping this time would be different only to unwrap them myself as I had the year before... He is getting better as this past Christmas he did rip the paper off with help on a couple of presents and this was very exciting for us! :) Still Easter wasn't vwery good this year, I had to unpack the stuff and then he got excited over a little helicopter I had bought him and did not care about the rest of the items. I have come to a point where I have put less expectation on him and then if he does take an interest then it is that much more exciting and not as dissappointing! :) So to answere your question, no! You are not alone. We just have to do the best we can and enjoy those moments that are special...Never take anything for granted! :) Re-heat the Turkey dinner we missed out on because the child could not handle the situation LOL! :) And move on... Never give up! :)

My autistic son has always shown some enthusiasm when it comes to holidays and birthdays, but it never lasts long. When I was little, I was always excited for holidays, and they never seemed to come fast enough! And when they did come my excitement would last a lot longer than just a few minutes, that's for certain. I don't really mind that my son is different this way, as my husband and I have more of a reason to stay home during the holidays, which we prefer the older we get.

You'll see the joy and excitement if whatever it is relates to one of his perseverations but, this was, I assume, outdoors. Strange people, making loud noises, running around and shrieking. If the sun was bright, that can be a stressor. So can wind, or cold - at least for me. No, he'd have been much happier in front of the TV, videogame console or reading a book. Oh, don't stress about time spent playing videogames. You couldn't find a better therapy for fine motor control issues. Final word is that your child simply does not see the world with the "same eyes" you do, and so won't always be able to experience things as you would wish. Please respect that; some parents simply force their autistic children to "have a good time," - and those are the parents who's adult children never write and never call.

Yes holidays can be difficult and the way I imagine things like Easter Egg Hunts and Days Out always leave me frustrated as they are so far away from the reality choose how hard I try. My boys had art things and painted the outside of the house while i left them for about 2 minutes - Bin via an irrate Daddy. I went to strip the beds and they set fire to the lounge stool with the gas fire. I got my haircut - they got the hose and flooded the garden. I hate holidays, I'm exhausted, miserable and I think having a maniac depressive week.

my son has some issues with holidays. part of it is going somewhere that's not home, especially if it's not somewhere we usually go, so those occasions we have to do the traveling several days in advance so that he adjusts to being there. bringing along favorite movies for him to watch once we get where we're going is always good, but not everyone takes "hi, we're here... put this movie on" very well. this year he participated in easter to a degree. he pointed to the different cups of egg dye to tell me what color to put the eggs in. he didn't put any in himself, but it was a start. and he loved seeing the eggs come out new, different colors. he played with the eggs for awhile, but it was snowing outside so i didn't try an egg hunt. at christmas he is fascinated with the lights and the tree. he takes ornaments off and occasionally throws them (gotta make sure they're all unbreakable), and he'll strip a tree of every candy cane he can reach in a flash if you let him. this year i plan on starting him watching animated christmas movies around august (it sounds bad, i know). i want to see if it along with reading stories will get him comfortable enough with the idea of santa clause that he'll sit on santas lap for a picture. holidays aren't what i expected when he was born... so i'm making the best of it and doing my best to make them his brand of exciting. i do know that he'll participate in cutting out cookies this year -- he saw me rolling out pizza dough recently and put the cookie cutters to it when my back was turned.

Holidays are a big old pain in my behind, too. I'm proud of my son for accomplishing what he has and does, but it seems like my family, and my husband's family, are always pushing him to do things that are just beyond him. It becomes so frustrating for him, and I don't handle his frustration well at all.