Reach out to figure out others and yourself too

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Read this article in the newspaper and found it quiet interesting so thought of sharing it with my fellow mylotters. Here are some fabulous tips to make your associations blossom from Kelly Smerz, a psychologist; Michelle McKinney Hammond, a Chicago-based relationship coach and author; and author Wayne Levine. To be a good friend… Be courageous and transparent. “Tell your friend you want a deeper relationship with them,” Levine said. “You can even tell them if what you’re doing is uncomfortable, but that it’s vital for you to really say what’s on your mind.” Hear and listen. “One of the most important aspects of communications is really listening to understand,” Smerz said. “Are you really hearing or are you just listening because you’re trying to prepare a response?” Be there, no matter what. “Don’t let his struggle, whether it’s an addiction, a parenting issue or problem at home, scare you away,” Levine said. To be a good spouse or significant other ... * Throw out the rules. This is especially true if the other person doesn’t know you have rules in the first place, Hammond said. “Don’t expect them to deliver on things you haven’t told them about.” * Want to give. So often, people come to romantic relationships focused on receiving, instead of giving. “You are to serve them and make their lives better, and they should turn around and do the same for you,” Hammond said. * Express your love. “The other person should know how important he or she is to you.” * Don’t try to change the person. “People can grow, but don’t expect that you’re going to be some major overhaul on someone’s personality,” Smerz said. * Advocate for what you want. “It’s really important to say, ‘This is who I am and this what I want.’”