Seeking Advice

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Is it wrong to slowing push yourself away from a long time love if things dont progress? How long should it take for someone to really know that they are in love and how do you really know the person your with is your soul mate? I have a personal story that I really wont get into, but to make a long story short... I've been with a guy for yrs. now and we have kids, but all we are is boyfriend & girlfriend. We have our ups and downs just as any normal couple, but being just a girlfriend is getting so old to me. I can't even call him a boyfriend anymore.Anytime I speak about him to anyone I call him "my guy". At my job my co- workers have asked me if I was married. Of course I say no then the next question is how long have you been with him.I tell them. Then to top it if by saying we have kids and live together it looks even worse. Its not just an issue of what others think, but I've talked to him about it and it seems that what I feel about this relationship and moving forward isnt on his list of priorties. He is 26 almost 27 and I'm 24 could it be that I'm pushing something that shouldnt be pushed or should I just slowly get away to prepare myself for a future without him. Please someone HELP I NEED ADVICE!! 8 yrs of giving my heart and soul to one man is more then enough to get past the girlfriend stage.