Is the death of a loved one easier if expected or unexpected?

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If given a choice in the matter, which would you prefer: to lose a loved one suddenly, unexpectedly, or to know in advance that your loved one was going to die and having time to deal with your emotions? This is a subject I have pondered over for a long time; It's a hard choice for me to make. I have a wonderful relationship with my family so I wouldn't have the problem of "not having told him I loved him". I have had three major losses in my family within the last couple of years and all of them were due to sickness. One of the hardest things for me is to see my loved ones in a debilitated state, so sick that they are hooked up to machines in the hospital, too weak to sit up. My great-aunt, who I was extremly close to, got real sick a couple of years ago, we knew that she was going to die soon and the knowledge was killing me. I couldn't bring myself to go into her hospital room and see her because I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop crying. I also couldn't go and see her at the funeral, I didn't want that to be my last memory of her. She knew that I loved her, we had a special bond. I think, in some ways, it would be easier to lose our loved ones suddenly, dying in their sleep, peacefully. Have you had experiences with one or both ways of losing your loved one? Which was easier for you to handle, if at all. Remeber, this discussion can be applied to all loved ones, family members, friends, even pets.