Do you accept the people in your life as they are??
By MagdalenaM
@MagdalenaM (681)
United States
April 11, 2007 1:01pm CST
When we start a relationship we often tell our partner that we love him or her just the way he or she is....
However, no sooner you move in together or marry that one tries to change the other - are you one of those poeple??
Do you accept people as they are or you try to change them to suit your personality, beliefs and life style; if yes, do you think that it is right do to so??
4 responses
@derek_a (10874)
•
12 Apr 07
From my experience, I would say that one needs to aspire to accept others as they are, or we would be interferring with their characters, trying to mould them to the way we think they should be.
However, it is not always easy and in a relationship, discussion of any differences at the level of truth will resolve issues.
If I was to pretend to accept a partner I am secretly trying to change, I would laying the foundations for an untruthful relationship. Some people may find this OK, but sooner or later it will run into difficulties and unhappiness.
I guess for me it needs to be a case of "the truth will set me free".
@MagdalenaM (681)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Derek, you are right...in a relationship it can be difficult; here is what I do...I agree to dissagree with my partner or those close enough to me that their opinion matter.
Another thing I do is try to keep an open mind because many times I found that something I do and firmly believe is right can turn to be wrong in the long run so,listening sometimes even to things that don't seem right first may prove to help us in the end - this is my opinion, of course.
@juskoday (183)
• Philippines
11 Apr 07
I try to be as accepting of everyone as they are. I known some of my friends for more than a decade and I'm gotten used to their quirks. Sometimes I wish they'd change something about themselves, and then I slap myself because they _do_ change then they aren't really being themselves aren't they?
And I think what's important in any relationship is compromise -- so while someone may have to give up an irksome habit, the other is also required to sacrifice something else. Only high-maintainance partner's would demand changes from their significant others.
@MagdalenaM (681)
• United States
11 Apr 07
That is true, in a relationship compromise is essential and then acceptance is what makes us a better person as well as presenves the individuality of those in our lives.
Thanks - wise words my friend!
1 person likes this
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
11 Apr 07
This is a great question and one that everyone should ask themselves before they leap into marriage. I think I was quite sure my husband would change after we married, but utlimately the person you marry is the person will stay the same inherently no matter how hard you try to change them. I think people need to ask themselves if they can live with certain personality traits and habits because some of those things will always remain the same. Ultimately, we have no right to ask our partner to change these inherent beliefs and lifestyles. We can get them to break some annoying habits maybe, but really that's all.
@MagdalenaM (681)
• United States
11 Apr 07
And I agree with what you say however, here is yet another question to you - what if the habits that we consider annoying are what he or she enjoys??
At present my partner has many habits that I don't care for like he is very messy and I am an obssesive compulsive but, we have come to an understanding that works for both of us like there are days when I don't have to go crazy about cleaning for example and days when he will help me clean.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
11 Apr 07
Yes, coz maybe somtimes we love them just for being them but somehow of course if there something wrong to be changed for him for the better I must changed him, relations will not work properly if someone is doing wrong and you don't like it maybe it ony a matter of give and take and communication may always be present.
