Do You Ever Spend Time With Your Friends?
By terilee79720
@terilee79720 (3621)
United States
April 12, 2007 9:09am CST
When a friend request is made, do you automatically accept them without a thought? Do you ever check out who your friends are?
I got interested in a few discussions about friends and thought to myself, "Who are my friends?".
We start discussions and respond to them on a completely different level than if we were actually talking to 'real live friends'. You know, the people you invite into your home.
I realized this is much the same here at mylot. My so-called 'little corner of the world' is in essence an extension of my home and I am inviting all kinds of people inside to give me their opinion about things. If I didn't want an opinion or only wanted to hear certain ones, I wouldn't be asking total strangers, over, 86,000 of them, to give it to me.
So, I took the time to really go over everyone's profile. It's not that I haven't done that already. I've taken a quick glance but this time, I took the time to read every word on their profile page, read most of the discussions, AND responses, and looked up their website if they had one.
The world is full of different kinds of people. The same is true on mylot. Very interesting, each and everyone, with different beliefs and styles all their own. I'm glad to have met all of you - so far......
Be blessed and have a great mylot discussion.
4 people like this
20 responses
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Terilee, I'm actually somewhat particular about my friends... I just can't get into the whole "friends collecting" as a popularity contest mentality. I decline some requests, and have a substantial number simply left "open" because I am waiting for that person to post enough or modify their profile to a degree that I can get some sense of who they are.
I have always liked the analogy that the web-- in some way-- brings the entire world right to the door of our living room... but the choice of who we actually invite to COME IN is still ours... some people are indiscriminate, while others are extremely selective; suspicious, even.
When someone requests a friend connection, I always go look at their profile-- and I check some of their discussions and responses. AND, I check to see if we share common friends. I may read and comment on their discussions for a few days, to see if there will be ANY sort of dialogue. If our worldviews are on the opposite end of the spectrum, it becomes ESPECIALLY important to me that the person is respectful of differing opinions... and doesn't just become all huffy and intolerant in the face of someone who sees the world a little differently.
I enjoy the process of "connecting." But it has to be an AUTHENTIC connection-- something that might lead to a real exchange of ideas, possibly email, and so forth. In other words, like a "real" friend.
Good for you, for taking the time to get you know your friends!
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
12 Apr 07
True words. I love your site and the command you have over your words. It's great and I'm impressed.
1 person likes this
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
12 Apr 07
You really have a great response to my discussion. I'm sorry I already marked the best response or you would certianly be the best of the lot.
I admire you. Wish there were more like you.
2 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
12 Apr 07
before I accept a friend i to go through there profile. I read their questions and see what they are about. there are some really cool people here on mylot and i have been honored to have meet some of the best, including yourself.This is a very friendly and loving world. and just when you doubt something people prove to you just have loving and friendly it is. so today I toast to Mylot, and all the loving and friend people on it! Cheers
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Amen momma. Here's a toast to Mylot!
and to YOU and Me!
Thanks for actually reading what I wrote.....lol
2 people like this
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I do automaticaly accept. We see how it goes and if there are problems that is what the delete button is for. I have not had any troubles and my list is a nice mix and I can learn from them. I hope I give them something of value since it would be great to able to help in supporting their discussions. I normally only answer from email but the email notification is not working and has not done so for a few days now. I have told Management but they have not fixed it.
I am glad we are all different and in my case I know nothing of anything but who I am and act the same on the net as off the net. In fact I can be even more of myself when it is called for.
Good luck with your discussions and friends.
2 people like this
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Thanks Willowlady.
I accept them too. I haven't had to delete anyone yet. They are all a great mix of people. My hat goes off to all of my friends here at mylots.
1 person likes this
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I have met some wonderful friends on myLot and I do write to them on private messages and we chat online on yahoo messenger, although we have never said that we would get together, mostly they are extremely far from me, but I have enjoyed the chats and the discussions with them thus far.
2 people like this
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Way to go texasclassygal. There are a lot of great people here, huh?
1 person likes this
@theponch (198)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Thanks for the insight. I've started mylot just recently, actually last Thursday, after my husband intoduced me to it.
I have lots of insight, I'm very opinionated, and I'm also obsesive. I'm learning that my spelling is not so great, this site is addictive, and some of the responses really suck. I have a deaf daughter and she is my main focus when I speak on parenting issues and pose questions too. She has a younger sister that is a normal hearing child. My older daughter's actions speak much louder than people realize and this is why I figured my discussions could bring me answers. I glad you look into the freindship issue; I'll do the same. I still don't understand all the numbers and stars and ratings and process of it all either. What do you do when you come on?
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Your girls are lucky to have a mom like you.
Go over the guidelines really carefully. They are important. When I come on I go to my discussions I've started. I respond to everyone who responded to any of my discussion, then I go to my friends discussions and respond to those. That takes a while but it's fun and very imformative sometimes.
I start a new discussion and that's about it.
I make sure all of my friends are approved and that I have the reply notification set to 'on'.
If you have any other questions, I'll try to help you. later tater
1 person likes this
@easymoney75503 (1702)
• United States
12 Apr 07
i usally just accept them. i do go and take a quick look though. i have not met anyone in person i must say. there are a few that i accepted and we have talked through mylot and email quite a bit. they have really became good friends and i enjoy talking with them. no matter where we come from or what we have done in life we all have something in common. we may believe different things , think a different way, dress different, etc but we all have something that can bring us togehter. this site brongs alot of us together and gives us others ideas to look at. people here care and most do put there heart into it.
2 people like this
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I agree easymoney. Great place and great friends.
Wow! Texas! Me Too!
Have a nice day.
@unisis (1673)
• Indonesia
13 Apr 07
I do accept them without checking their profile, as I hope they take the time to read mine cause they need their friend,I sometime make "friend requests", so I will assume that the people who are on my list, are their because they want to be a friend.
I am simply not suitable for the tastes and requirements of everyone, so It's my pleasure for people to read my whole profile, before they make a request, in my opinion, that the smart way to things.
Have an excellent day, and I wish you continued success with your business,it is very interesting, each and everyone, with different beliefs and styles all their own in mylot.
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Thanks unisis. I think you might be right. They have to have some reason they want to be on your friends list.
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Sorry sebatt, maybe you should take a bit more time and talk to them a bit more?
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I don't accept the request right away. I like to take time to go to their area and look at it. See if their discussions fit my outlook. Also I take a look the discussions themselves. If I like what I see I accept them as my friend and If I don't I deny.
1 person likes this
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
12 Apr 07
That's the way sunshinelady. They should have a good outlook on things and believe. I think we are judged by the friends we keep.
@cyclops_online2004 (779)
• India
13 Apr 07
No actually i dont really think of who i am adding here on mylot. I just add them to increase the chances of my discussions being responded. No one has ever really messeged here on mylot. So, i dont have any serious freinds here.
1 person likes this
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I never thought of it that way cyclops. More chance to discuss and respond. Good idea. Thanks for a new way to look at it.
@raj101359 (54)
• India
13 Apr 07
One of the best times of one's life is to me, is with friends. To have a few true friends is a very nice thing.It helps one in very many ways. When you are in a real crisis ,whom do you discuss it first? to me I will approach my best friend and ask him or her for a solution.You won't get a much better option than them.So it is a nice experience having as many friends.
1 person likes this
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Maybe you're right arkentos. Different cultures are always interesting to learn and share with. Thanks for your resonse.
@RedRidingHood (132)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I've spent a lot of time on rather smallish internet forums and have made some good friends as a result. Now that I'm participating with myLot.com I feel like a very small fish in a very large ocean.
I'm still going to try to 'keep it personal' though and I have been reading the profiles of the people who have asked me to be friends like you have suggested.
Hopefully I'll be able to get to know at least a few of the fish around my part of the ocean! :)
1 person likes this
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
13 Apr 07
We have all been new at one point or another RedRidingHood. I remember when I first started not that long ago.
Friendships take time to build.
@arsena (293)
• Germany
13 Apr 07
I don't have many friends. The fingers from one of my hands are enough to count them. But when they ask me for help or they need just to see me then I am there for them. I've learn t that the big distance, the wellness or even a better luck in love can make you"friends" envious and and then they disappear. In the moment my best friend is also my boyfriend. With him I share all my thoughts and he is all the time supporting me. I think I am because of this a very rich person.
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
13 Apr 07
That's what friend do arsena. They help each other. I'm sure you are a great friend to have. Your friends are probably very fortunate to have you.
@peaceful (3294)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I do take the time to read profiles before I accept them... as I hope they take the time to read mine... I never make "friend requests", so I will assume that the people who are on my list, are their because they want to be...
I really look after them, as if they were "friends" because that's what they really are, not just "virtual" friends, but flesh and blood human beings (well mostly, LOL!) with a sense of humor and a Life, I actually love 'em...
I am simply not suitable for the tastes and requirements of everyone, so It's my pleasure for people to read my whole profile, before they make a request, in my opinion, that the smart way to things! :)
Have an excellent day, and I wish you continued success with your business! :)
1 person likes this
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
12 Apr 07
AWESOME RESPONSE peaceful. I agree with you completely.
You have an excellent day too. I'm going to check out your profile.....See ya!
@lifetalk (679)
• Pakistan
12 Apr 07
I'll be really really honest here, and say that no, i never care to check their profile. I know that's not fair and it's really lazy and unethical of me. Infact, i dont even message, or talk to my friends. Just come, post responses and go. THat's what i do. I'll be gettting more social here, after a few months, because as of now, i really am out of time, i mean, i hardly ever have time to come over to mylot!
1 person likes this
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
12 Apr 07
It's not a bad thing lifetalk. More people probably do like you do than not. It's sometimes all about the money at mylot, not friends.
1 person likes this
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Good idea mjsdls. You never know do you? It's always a gamble I guess. As long as someone doesn't get too out of line or is involved in things we don't believe in, I usually approve them.
@kawaiijamichan (773)
• Philippines
12 Apr 07
yes, i spent quality time whenever im with my friends, we make sure that we had alot of good times together and enjoy each others company cause we rarely have time to get together again.
about that i can say that no, i do not always accept requests or invitations. its because i cannot compromise my self if i wasnt able to make so. i dont want my friends to feel bad about me if ever that i make or said something that i wouldnt held responsible of.
1 person likes this
@brandonmagsino (639)
• Philippines
12 Apr 07
do i spend time with my friends? well, it kinda depends. since we are all working already. it is quite difficult to meet up on a particular day since there are those that work during the night. but occasions like, christmas, bdays, we get to see each other. however, most of the time, it is test messaging that keeps or links us together.. communication is still there.
1 person likes this
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Hi brandonmagsino.
It's apparent you didn't read what I wrote. I wasn't asking about the friends in your real life, on the job, or anything like that.
I'm referring to your 'friends' here at mylots.
1 person likes this
@rajeshkumar1113 (100)
• India
12 Apr 07
ya i am always spend my time with my friend as for that i join orkut that site join all friend always together
when i feel bore the i go to my friends and do a lots of fun together .......