What do I do? My little guy gets very upset and angry if he is not always right
@Jennifer16628 (184)
United States
April 12, 2007 9:45am CST
My son is 5 years old. He gets very upset and angry if he is not right or he is not first. For instance, if we play a game and he is not winning he gets very angry and yells, cries, and won't finish the game. If he tries to show me something and it doesn't work right he will get upset that I saw it. If he tries to draw or write and it is not how he thinks it should look he will get very mad and rip up the paper and cry and yell and say he is never going to do it again. I try and try to make examples through the day (making it look like things just happened that way) where I can shrug it off and try to "show by example" that things don't always go the way we want them to and we are not always "the best" and that is OK and GOOD! It has not seemed to help and I really worry about him heading off to school feeling like this. I REALLY need some help with this one so please......thank you!
1 person likes this
2 responses
@4cuteboys (4099)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I have a five year old son who is just like that. It's been a hard road, he takes things personally and is very sensitive, so it's hard! My boy is in school though, and recently we just had a breakthrough. In the lunch line they are put in order based on if they chose choice 1, 2, or 3..so whichever kids picked choice 1 go first in line ect. So Apparently he was choice 2 that day and almost everyone else was choice 1, so he was near the end of the line, when another kid showed up that had choice 1 and ethan backed up to let that kid in front of him without saying a word! I was so excited about this progress. Just keep doing what your doing. Thats exactly how we do it, we try to make examples in everything and we talk to him alot about his feelings and what he is feeling and why he thinks he might feel that way.
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@Jennifer16628 (184)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Oh thank you for responding back. I have worried very much what will happen in school. It is comforting to hear that other children his age experience this. That is a huge thing for your son to be able to not be first if he is like my son. Wow! Sounds like you just made a gigantic leap! I hope things work out this way for me as well!
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
12 Apr 07
He sounds just like my son. Guess what there is light at the end of the tunnel. My son is now 26 and living in another state. He is still a prefectionest.
What I did first was tell him first that he could not play a game with us if he could not be a good sport about it. I would tell him "You cannot play with us if you are not going to be a good sport and you cannot win all the time". If he started to get mad in the middle of the game I made him stop playing the game. We stoped playing many games in the middle.
Drawings: I would not let him tear them up. I would have him turn the paper over and start again. If that would not work then the crayons would get taken away. He would get time out.
I feel that your son is very smart. I was told my son was a genius. He is just lazy and hates school. I know he could make so much of himself if he just applied himself. My son can pick up any musical insterment and play it and play it well.
I will tell you I went through counseling on how to handle him. It ended up I did all the steps the counselor had me do and nothing worked. I got a wooden spoon out. I only had to use it once on his behind. I then had to just say calm down or I will get the spoon out. Guess what he calmed right down. I know I will get a lot of flack for say this.
@Jennifer16628 (184)
• United States
12 Apr 07
You won't get flack from me. No I don't spank my children but my mother used a wooden spoon on us (there were 5 of us kids). I do not believe in abusing children but there is a line between a swat and abuse. I don't want to debate the spanking issue so let me get back to the topic. My son IS very smart although he is not a genius. He enjoys working through the level 1 readers. Yes he can read but like all other children learning he has to sound every word out. He does excellent in math. He is always adding and subtracting (for instance the other day he said out of the blue..."my friend is 10 (his cousin) and I am 5 so he is 5 years older than me". He has difficulty with holding a pencil though. We have worked on this a lot and it is very difficult. He does get bored easily also. I do not stop games because he throws his fit because of his younger sister...I don't want her to be punished because of his behavior. I do take him out of the game though and continue on with her. He gets very angry about this but I feel that if he is not going to be a good sport (like you said) than we don't want to continue playing with him but the rest of us will continue to be good sports and continue on. I don't know if this is right but that is what I do right now. Thanks for your opinion on this! :)
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
12 Apr 07
My son still gets board very quickly. He is not ADD but just needs a lot of stimulation. He also did not sleep well as a baby or a child. He use to get up all hours of the night. I never know when he would get up or where he would be where I got up in the moring. I don't believe I slept though the night for years because of worry for him.
1 person likes this
@Jennifer16628 (184)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Wow! That must have been hard! My son did not sleep as a baby. I actually would stay in the living room with him at night so my husband could sleep (I didn't have to work). Luckily now he sleeps all night. He never was a napper either.
