MySpace Party Destroys Family Home
By ossie16d
@ossie16d (11821)
Australia
April 13, 2007 2:04am CST
I was shocked to read this in the newspaper.
Parents were left with a $50,000 bill after a party advertised by their teenage daughter on the MySpace social networking site attracted hundreds who trashed their home. The girl had been warned by her mother not to have “any kids or drink in the house" while her parents were on a caravan holiday, but she advertised her "Skins"-themed party, after a British television series about promiscuous, drug-taking teenagers, on MySpace for Easter Monday. She claimed she expected about 30 or 40 people to arrive, but more than 200 invaded the house in northern England, some from as far away as London, carrying what neighbours described as "a suitcase full of alcohol" wreaking mayhem in the quiet town.
Her parents returned home the next day to find plastic buckets filled with vomit, cigarette butts littered throughout the house, and the mother’s wedding dress pulled from a wardrobe and urinated on. The mother said it worse than a burglary and couldn’t believe it. She said that whoever went to their house were worse than animals.
It will take a month for the home to be professionally cleaned and the parents are staying in temporary accommodation and the daughter is staying with a friend for a "cooling off" period agreed to with her mother, while the parents deal with the devastation in their home. The girl’s MySpace advert for the "Skins" party was subtitled, "Let's trash the average family-sized house disco party," though the teenager denies posting the message.
Durham police said the incident would be investigated, with a spokesman saying that they planned to "speak in due course to as many of the party-goers as we can."
I can tell you that I would have been less than impressed and to think that the daughter was responsible. Having been the victim of someone vandalising our home, it is heartbreaking but it would be much worse if it was actually your own child who was responsible for allowing it to happen.
What would you have done had this been your home and your child?
14 people like this
30 responses
@oldboy46 (2129)
• Australia
13 Apr 07
My daughters can be pretty awful and inconsiderate at times ..... but I doubt even they would do something like this. The first thing would be that whoever was responsible would be cleaning the mess up and they would be working long hours to do it too ..... they would also be making amends to society as well. There are some contradictions in the story too .... at one point the daughter is claimed to have said that she only expected 30 or 40 people to attend ... then she claims that she did not post the message.
It doesn't say how old she is .... but if she is anything less than 18 the parents should never have left her at home alone ... more so not as it was Easter. Also it doesn't say if there were any other children in the family who were involved.
If it had been my daughters, or step-daughters, then they would have to work very hard to regain my trust .... and it would take a long time too. Seems like this girl did not even make an effort to clean the place before her parents arrived home.
It can happen anywhere or at any time, no matter where the person lives .... disagree with the first respondent. She might live in a society where children are not encouraged to be independent .... but that isn't the way in the majority of countries and cultures in the world.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
There has to be some penalty oldboy for this situation, and it is more than a "cooling off" period. Definately trust would be lost and the daughter should have to clean up and/or pay for it in some manner. I think that perhaps the parents came home earlier than expected from another article I saw on this same subject. Thanks very much for your contribution to the discussion.
@Bunny2 (2102)
• Australia
13 Apr 07
I guess no one can ever say with certainty that something like this will never happen to them. I like to believe that I have raised my children better than to do such a terribly childish thing. So far all three sons have shown maturity and understanding, and when they have had friends here if my husband or I weren't here, the house was always spotless when we returned. They know if it wasn't that they would never again be allowed privileges of having friends here or having a party (though only my eldest son had a party here when he stayed while we went on holiday).
What would I do to my child if something like this happened? Apart from yelling my head off, because who could hold back in such a situation, I would expect my child and the friends involved to clean up the mess - or to pay for it. At very least work to pay it off. And I daresay they could forget any future parties!
3 people like this
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
I agree Bunny that nobody can say it will never happen to them. We like to think that our children will be more responsible but know in the back of our minds that it "hope rather than actual knowledge". I have to agree it would be a case of definately no future parties, plus clean it up or pay.
Thanks for your insight Bunny. :)
@caramello (4377)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
This is quite disgusting ossie but sadly a sign of the times. There was a case here recently where a mother allowed her daughter to have a party for her 15th. birthday and invited 150 guests. Through sms etc. you can imagine how many turned up, gatecrashes were more than the invited. Parents were too afraid to pick their children up as there were bottles being hurled at cars....Neighbours were terrified and so on.
This would not have happened in my home I am pleased to say as my children would not have done this with me not being home, and the times they had a party I was always there to supervise and a list was made up of those invited and all proper care was taken. But unfortunately like with mobile phones with cameras all has changed so much and not for the better as far as I am concerned. As I say "bring back the good old days" lol
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
Yes when these things happen it is disgusting caramello and it does seem to be happening more and more, although generally the damage is not to the same extent. Some councils do not allow large parties at home, unless the police are informed and they approve it. Of course some people do not bother getting approval from the council either.
That party you mention sounds like it would have been a real ordeal and one would hope that the police were called in very early on. I agree that when our son had a party, we were always at home too. We left them have their party, but never had any problems. For a start we lived out of town, so gatecrashers would have to make a real effort to get there plus those who regularly visited and stayed with us knew our rules. They would soon bring into line anyone who thought they could step out of bounds. So, we were lucky that not only was our son responsible but so were his friends.
This young lady, if she was mine, would be made to clean up the mess, get a job to pay for the damages and otherwise be grounded. No computer either, and that includes for school if she is still a student. She could do it like we did in the "good old days", reading books to find out the information that we needed.
Thanks for your input caramello, and yes I am going over to check out your discussion about your birthday and flight etc. :)
@caramello (4377)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
Oh and ossie check out my birthday discussion.......I did it finally! lol
@sweetie88 (4556)
• Pakistan
13 Apr 07
1st of all, i'll like to say all this is due to their culture & freedom which the children have. I am an Asian gal & enough confident but can never dare to do such stupidities in the absence of my Parents. Eurpeon Parents 1st give full freedom to their children & do n't tell about limits and when their child do something, they repent.
If i was in place of that home, then # 1, i was n't going to leave my daughter alone at home bcuz i already knew that my daughter wanted to do something like this & i must n't left her alone at home bcuz she can do anything in my absence.
#2, I'll bring up my children in such a way that such day'll never come in my life.
#3, If my child do so, i'll do his/her marriage & will have become carefull next time & will never leave my other child alone due to last bitter expereince.
#4, I'll become a bit strick with rest of child & will always keep on observing that child too so that if he/she did once mistake. He/She may n't repeat it & i'll tell its dis-advantages socially & religionally.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
15 Apr 07
Yes this is a hard one and I expect that it could happen anywhere in the world, although of course in many countries the teens do not have the same freedom that others do. I would think they thought she would be responsible, and maybe generally she was but that is no excuse for what happened. She should not have allowed them into the house and once they started climbing in, she should have called the police.
1 person likes this
address
angry
best response oldboy
betrayal
betrayal of trust
chatrooms
child
childrem
clean
computer
damage
damages
dangerous
daughter
destruction
family
friends
internet
irresponsible
lack of respect
legal
lesson
neighbour
neighbours
online
parents
parties
police
responsibility
responsible
serious
shame
sorry
teen
teenager
teenagers
teens
trust
@callarse1 (4783)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I think the parents need to realize what their children do online. Second, I think the girl should have contacted her friends via a bulleten that said not to repost it. Second, she probably put her address in the bulleten which is not good. Third, since someone knows that once you post something it can be reposted to other people then she should have known that. Well if she didn't think about it I am sure she is thinking about it now.
As for the people comming I think the girl had a responsibility to reject them if she didn't want them in her house. I would say it is partly her fault. If I were the parents I would be very angry with her :(.
Have a nice day.
Pablo
2 people like this
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
Yes, there was a certain amount of immaturity on the part of this girl, who should have been well aware of what could happen when she released her personal details in an online forum. I would say that it was her fault to a large extent, because she always had the option of calling the police if these were not her friends. Thanks for your response Pablo. :)
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
13 Apr 07
oh my god..
i honestly don't know what i'd do if this were my child.i'd probably be too angry to think.
"i'm sorry" just doesn't begin to cover it.
if she was over 18,she'd probably be told she's spent her last day in my house.
if under 18,she'd be getting jobs to pay me back-
and her computer taken away.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
You are right in that "I'm sorry" doesn't begin to cover it because this girl should have stopped things before they got out of hand. Definately she would be paying the cost of the clean-up and repairs back to me in some way, on a regular basis too.
Thanks for our contribution to the discussion. :)
@Cyklo1974 (351)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Yep, i would make herpay me back some way or another. I would not allow her to use any pc aswell. Some things are not replaceable like the wedding dress that was urinated on but she would definitely work hard for the damage she caused.
1 person likes this
@caribe (2465)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Well, I think this is my third time in trying to post to this discussion. I am having problems with myLot loading very slowly today.
I don't think I would be leaving my daughter alone in the house in the first place. And I can see where this would be so much worse than just someone vandalizing your home. I think if it was my child they would be grounded for a long time and they would have to get a job and make payments to me to help defray the cost of the damages. This way they would know that when you do something in this life, there are consequences for your actions. She might not have intended for it to get so out of hand, but it would never have happened if she had not posted it on the internet. So she needs consequences for doing this as a lesson in life.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
Firstly sorry that you are/were having problems here caribe, and I too have found that sometimes it is very slow to load pages.
You are right about there being consequences for this sort of thing, even if the girl did not mean for it to get out of hand. If she is old enough to be visiting chatrooms, then she should be responsible enough not to post such things.
Thanks for your contribution caribe. :)
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
15 Apr 07
I think that if I would have had to tell the girl no kids or alchol I wouldn't have trusted her in the first place. I think I would have alerted the neighbors of my absence and ask them to keep an eye on the place. Then the police could have been called in early. Next the girl would have no socila life and she would be getting a joband pay back for the damage. She would also not have actcess to a computer except for school work and I would be looking over her shoulder. You just never know if you can really trust teenager so completely.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
From what I subsequently read on this one deebomb, it was the neighbours who contacted the parents to let them know, then they told the girl that the parents would soon be home. That was when everyone, including the daughter, fled the house leaving it in such an appalling mess. I agree that the police should have been called before it got to the point. Yes, definately no social life, working to pay back what it costs and also she should be forced to clean up some of the mess herself.
I am not as nice as you deebomb because I would not let her have a computer even for school work. Let her do some good research by reading books, which is what we did with our homework and we still managed to pass okay.
Agree that this girl will probably never be trusted again after this. It was honestly an abuse of trust, not to mention lack of respect for her parents, herself and their home.
Thanks for your contribution to this discussion deebomb. :)
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Goodness what an adventuresome child, although I have dealt with children having parties in my house while I was away they cleaned it up to the point that I never knew there was one. Now that they are grown and having children of their own they are fessing up to their misdeeds, I heard one time they had a party and had a keg in the middle of my living room (I always wondered where that circle came from) and that my next neighbors came over and partied with them (I will never trust neighbors again), at one point of the story I asked not to be told anything, it seems almost worse to hear about it afterwards as it does when it happened. I feel sorry for these parents.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
Yes all teens will try to fly, sometimes before they are ready. This one went too far and it does seem that yours did not texasclassygal, which is good. The fact that the neighbour joined in with yours when they were younger is a bit worrysome I should think, as generally people expect their neighbours to kee[ an eye on the place if they are away. Thanks for responding to the discussion.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
16 Apr 07
Oh my gosh. i would make her get a job and pay me back every cent that it cost to get the house back into shape and ask her to tell her buddies on myspace they need to help her. I know why know after reading this I don't really care much for myspace.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
Think that the problem with getting her MySpace buddies to help her clean up because she doesn't know half of those who attended apparently. That is no excuse though, and you are like so many who have responded in that this girl/teenager would be cleaning up and then repaying everything it cost to get the place back into order.
Thanks very much for your response Shaun. :)
@emskoneko (805)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Wow. I had always thought that all kids in the UK were pretty disciplined enough not to do that but I guess no matter where you're from you got some teenagers ready to drink and party like wild animals. I would expect something like that happening here in America. If I were the mother, I would make her work till she payed off all the damages with interest! Not only that, she would go on lock down. Any more problems from her, she would be kicked out of my house! I think my parents would do that to me if I had done the same stupid thing she did. I'm a teenager and I don't use myspace (thank god).
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
Oh emskoneko I think this could happen in almost any country, if the teenager is trying to prove that they are "grown up". Definately I agree that if it was my child then she would be working very hard to do some of the cleaning up personally and then paying for the rest of the damages. One thing this young lady cannot do is buy back the trust of her parents, and it will take her a very long time to win it back I would think.
Good to hear that as a teenager you are more responsible and do not divulge such personal information as your address on the internet, where any weirdos can see it as well.
@sigma77 (5383)
• United States
14 Apr 07
This would upset me no doubt. If it was my child, it would be a long time before I would trust her again. I don't know what the parents can do to collect from those responsible for trashing the house. $50,000 is a lot of damage. Sounds like it was quite a mob scene. How the perps can live with themselves after this display of irresponsibility is beyond me. I would guess that most of those kids were to drunk to remember a thing, therefore according to the good old justice system, they are home free.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
I think "upset" is a very mild feeling sigma if it was my child. Sadly it appears that many of those who attended were unknown to her, because the details of the party as well as the address were put in MySpace, which means those who attended could have been anyone. You are right that they will possibly get off if they are ever taken to court, but thankfully now in Australia the courts do not accept drunkenness as an excuse. I am not sure about the UK though.
Thanks for responding to the discussion sigma. :)
@ladymoonstone143 (1507)
• United States
14 Apr 07
I could never imagine doing this to my parents less alone the house I lived in. But, I think I belong to another generation. The teeners nowadays, they want to mature fast but sad to say, doesn't know anything about being responsible. If am the parent, I would be so upset that probably I will let my daughter find a way to pay me back with this bill so she will learned this lesson.
The kids nowadays has really no fear with there parents. I used to remember that my mother will just give me the "look" and I be quaking on my feet coz i know she means business. If she tells me something, I will follow her instructions to the hilt. Not that she is so strict but I respected her so much and doesn't want to do something stupid to shame her or make her upset.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
Thanks for the laugh here ladymoonstone, because my son used that them "the look". Apparently when he did/does something that I don't approve of or agree with I give him "that look", and he generally responded to it with "don't talk to me with that look". It must be something that comes with being a mother maybe, because our son used to take notice of what I "said" in the look and then decide what he wanted to do. :)
Yes, this particular girl had no respect for either her parents, herself or the home that they lived in.
Thanks for your contribution to this discussion. :)
@Kalikala (433)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I think it's odd how MySpace gets the blame for so many things these days. Teenagers have been having parties that get out of control for ages- think about how many movies and sitcom episodes from the past 20 years center around that exact plotline!
@Writerbob (572)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I agree, MySpace is irrelevant to this story. How about "16 Candles" for starters, made in 1984. I would bet the damage if real to that house would have been greater than $50K.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
I do not believe that MySpace is getting the blame at all for this one, but simply has been named as the medium by which news of this particular party became so wide spread. It could have been any online community that was used, but in this instance it actually was MySpace.
The point of this is not about MySpace at all, but about the what can and was done to this house, because of the very irresponsible actions by this girl who should have known better. Then to make matters worse, she did nothing to stop those who were causing so much destruction to her parents home.
Stories and movies are one thing, but this actually did happen. Yes, teenagers have been having parties for a long time but as out of control as this one appears to have become.
@mikeyr6000le (2123)
• United States
13 Apr 07
After something like that I would have no child. My question is where was the police during all this? Didn't anyone complain about the noise or something? They could have raided the place and caught half the kids still there. Something about this just doesn't add up.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
From what I can understand of the reading of this one, and later news, the neighbours called the parents to let them know. Then the neighbour went and told the girl her parents were returning home, which is when she and everyone else fled the house. I think it would have been better had the neighbours called the police, when it became obvious the girl was not doing anything about the noise etc.
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I would make the kis pay for the damages and take away her computer, except for school. She would be grounded for a long time--- months and need to do community service at a local community organization for at least 10 hours a week.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
Oh I would consider that she should do her homework without the help of the computer at all, do some good old research might also help her learn a few lessons here. Computers are a privilege and not a right is my way of thinking. Community work certainly, after she had helped clean up the mess she created that is.
Thanks for your input into this discussion cripfemme. :)
@dbeast (1495)
• India
13 Apr 07
i would go berserk if something like this happened to me.first of all i wouldnt let my children alone and hell i wouldnt let them throw a party out to someone whom they didnt even meet as yet and that too from the niternet.was this kid crazy and whats crazier is the parents who let her do this.what did they expect?the house to be in perfect condition?what can the authorities do aout it?absolutely nothing.i am sorry for them and know the shock they would have recieved.and if it was my home and my child ,my child would have been in a lot of trouble at least for a few days that is.because there is no use crying over spilt milk.i would see to that my child realises her mistake and regret for what she did and if she does it genuinely then the things will settle down and get back to normal.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
From what I read the parents had no prior knowledge of this party, but it is simply something the girl organised while they were away for the weekend. They came back early and found the mess, damage etc to their home.
I don't think life will get back to normal in that house for a long time, because of the betrayal of trust from the daughter, plus what was done to the personal things, i.e. wedding dress.
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Well, first of all, What in the h#** was this kid thinking!?!? I can't even imagine pulling something like that. I don't know what I'd do if it was my child that caused this. I would be so incredibly livid that I'd be speechless the first day or so and then after that I don't know how much control I'd have. Wow! Those poor parents and that poor family.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
Yes I do agree those poor parents and the family, because they will never feel confident that they can trust that particular daughter ever again. If there are any other children in the family, and particularly if they are younger, they will never be allowed any sort of freedom. There would not be much harmony in my home if this sort of thing happened, but thankfully it never did.
Thanks for your contribution to this discussion. :)
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
14 Apr 07
Honestly I would be very mad but most of all I'd be disappointed that this was the respect I was shown.
That's about it really, after stressing my concerns I would drop it and make sure my child knew how bothered I was and Hope that they'd think twice about it in the future.
If it wasn't the first time, well who knows.
~Joey
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
16 Apr 07
Oh Joey, she would certainly be hearing about how disappointed I was plus made to help clean the mess up and repay the money (or at least part of it) for the damages done. It is happened more than once, she would be out the door definately. I would hope this is a one-off thing and that this girl has learnt a lesson from it.
Thanks for your contribution to the discussion. :)
@sanyah1988 (306)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I am so sorry but I find that story so funny how an you actually trust that
