is your best friend your true friend?
By mskzalameda
@mskzalameda (4023)
Philippines
April 13, 2007 3:35am CST
what do we really mean by best friend? true friend? is it identical or not. I think it is not.
I have a best friend. All my secrets are common to her. we share each other's secrets. She mean so much to me. I don't know what will i do if i loose her.
One time i told her something and then that's the start of her teasing part on me. she always teases me like an elementary child. i said that she'd just turned 18 but her mind is going downwards. i told her that she have to be mature for she is now 18 and older than me. but still, she continues to tease me and this part of the game makes me so irritated to her.
We all have our weakness and that we share it to people whom we know is stronger than us and we think that by sharing the secrets to them, they will understand the situation we belong to. In this case, i think i have spilled the beans not to the wrong person but in the wrong time. I am thinking of how can i change my best friend to be a more mature lady than act like a child. we are now in college and we need some changes.
I want my best friend to be my true friend but i don't know what to do. She always put things on a childish manner. On her debut i even wish us not to quarrel petty things but I think the opposite is coming. I don't know how to explain it to her for like i said, she always laughs and takes things not too seriously.
"True friends are those who are always interesting, and always interested.
They stick with you, and stick up for you.
And they don't talk behind your back, nor do they report to you, with a grin, all of the juicy gossip everyone is spreading about you." -Sara Eisen, Director, Teen Center
8 people like this
38 responses
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
We consider our best friend to be our true friend. We tell her/him our secrets just as we hear her/his secrets, too. We share each other's sorrow, joys and pains. We laugh at those light moments together and oh, how we hold each one so dearly. We have learned to put up with each other's faults and have accepted each other as imperfect individuals who are fun to be with regardless of our differences. True friendship takes other as it is.
3 people like this
@oldboy46 (2129)
• Australia
13 Apr 07
Your best friend should always be a true friend, and someone you can trust implicitely ..... sometimes when we are young we choose the wrong person to trust and tell them secrets we maybe shouldn't tell them ... but learning who we can trust is all about experience and at 17, most people do not have enough life experience behind them.
My best friend is my partner ... I can tell her everything ... she does not criticise but if she doesn't agree then we will discuss the matter. You see she is the person who I have chosen to be my partner ... and she chose me too .... so we trust each other and know that each one will do the best we can for the other. We both have other friends that we trust ... but they are not always the ones that we want to confide in.
As you go through life you will find that friends do change ... that is part of the growing up process and has nothing to do with anything else. I have some friends I have known for 40 years and my partner is the same .... but other friends that we have only known for a few years.
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
i hope my best friend will eventually realize it and be my true friend also.
@korvinkate (283)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
yeah..you're right..me and my bestfriend are happy with just the two of us...i dunno why...but we're happy..and so does or family...but we have a great time spending all those things together..
2 people like this
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
13 Apr 07
My very best friend in the world and I have the strangest relationship, we dissagree on just about everything from religion to politics to anything you can imagine and yet we love each other and will aLWAYS BE THERE WHEN NEEDED DONT YOU FEEL THIS IS STRANGE?
2 people like this
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
i think that's not strange for you and your best bud is exactly alike. you are like fighting yourself. he he cute.
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
I'm blessed to have a best friend. I've known her since we're 7 years old. We practicality grow up together, know each other's families and remain inseparable. The best thing about being with my best friend is that I can stop playing a role, stop being pretentious and be on my own true self.
I am a very private person by nature and my secrets are mine to keep. For some reason, I can only share my confidences with my best friend. She knows all my flaws and weaknesses and accepted them.
2 people like this
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
thanks for the advice. i'll try to work on that. i think that's not an easy job he he
1 person likes this
@tamanna6 (26)
•
13 Apr 07
hii ...you have written "true friends are always interesting ".my friend nothing like that ....a true friend is a one who will not tell others any fight picked up between you ...i have a group of 6 friends including me ...even if we have fought we dont let it to the outer world ..see accept your friend as ahe is ..she is taking things lightly probably thats her nature ..try to adjust you have written friends should not speak at the back ..my dear you are doing that by disclosing about your friend ...try speaking to her that she has to stop things which you dont like ..share it with her try making her understand ...bye god bless
2 people like this
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
"True friends are those who are always interesting, and always interested.
They stick with you, and stick up for you.
And they don't talk behind your back, nor do they report to you, with a grin, all of the juicy gossip everyone is spreading about you."
-Sara Eisen, Director, Teen Center
@Windrunner (477)
• Pakistan
13 Apr 07
well seems like yr best friend and u are two opposite sides of a magnet. so maybe that s why she's yr best friend cause like repels and dislike attracts. but everyone has some weak point. no one's perfect. if you think she's yr best friend than it's up to u to better her nature. because friends are yr mirror. u shouldnt get irritated but instead try to make her feel that if she shuns her childish nature she ll become more special to u.
try to give good advice to her whenever she seems to be in a serious mood. some people mature at a very late age. be patient or else find someone who matches your style better. because if you dont than chances are that youll end up having a row, and bad feelings.
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
thanks for that very nice suggestion windrunner. I will try apply that.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
14 Apr 07
that's a bit sad of you to experience. i hope you can find to open your heart out with your bestfriend. so, she'll know you are sometimes affected, too with what she's been doing to you.
just sad to know that the person we thought are our bestfriends can't be treated as our true friend. true friend and bestfriend sound a bit similar... but actually, they aren't.
bestfriends are those we usually hang out with... but true friends are those who stick through life's thick and thin.
i had a bestfriend before who i thought i could trust. but she was even the one who started spreading gossips about me. i confronted her once and never remained as bestfriends since then.
now, i can say, i have a true friend in my boyfriend's person. he's the very one i can rely onto. he's there for me everytime and anytime i need him. he listens, he cares, he trusts and he takes care of me and my little secrets as well.
1 person likes this
@emisle (3822)
• Ireland
13 Apr 07
She may be your best friend at the moment, but as time goes on you will meet more people that are more mature and that you will probably like to be around more than your friend. If she doesn't listen to you when you tell her to stop teasing you than she's not really being a good friend.
2 people like this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
your best friend is the best friend that you have and really should be your true friend,
as you pointed out it could be different but it shouldn't
so perhaps she is not your best friend, but a good friend nevertheless
2 people like this
@emskoneko (805)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Well for me I don't have a best friend because none of my current friends have proven to me to be true friends. It's hard to explain how they will prove it to me. I think that there will be a moment where we will both feel that each other's company is special and needed which will show true friendship that will form as best friends and true friends.
2 people like this
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I don't have a lot of friends where I live. In fact I just moved so I don't have any friends here aside from who my fiance's friends are! My friends back home, I wouldn't say are my best friends, we have just moved further apart and aren't really that close. I have one close friend who I consider my best friend and I am going to visit her next week. I am very excited about it! She is a true friend I believe and hasn't done anything to prove otherwise. She has always been there for me and helped me through many things. I think that is a true friend. They are there for you when times are rough and when times are good. They help you celebrate the good times and help you through the bad times.
2 people like this
@zengguoxing (773)
• China
14 Apr 07
I'm very sorry to tell that my best friend right now is not my true friend actually.For one thing,i cann't share with him something in my mind cause he always laughing at me on what i told him.I hate that very much.Even i cann't share with him my secret ,but he is still my best friend.I can work and play with him together happily.For another thing,he seems to a little look down upon me when he did better than me at something.So we cann't be true friends.I'm a little sad at this.I really wish he can change such shortcomings.Pityly,he seems never change even just a little.It's a pity of that.I'm eager to find my true friends all over the world.If we're not in the same country,we can be pen-pals i believe.Hope my dream will come true soon.
1 person likes this
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
we share the same feelings my friend. the same problem also. good luck to us!
@wladnsf (28)
• China
13 Apr 07
I don't think so .I think the best friends is the ones who take each other laughing and happyness .Everyone has his own affairs which he maybe never want to be known by others although the one is most close to him .Don't try to change anything .What you should do is doing nothing .I don't if I'm right ,but I want my words can help you .
2 people like this
@confusedheart (207)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
well it is possible that your bestfriend is not a true friend. I had lots of friends whom i considered to be my bestfriend but it turned out that they are all backstabbers.
true friends can be tested thru time. if she accepts all of your positive and negative aspects thru time then she is a true friend. it doesn't mean that she is teasing you and all that she is not a true friend. maybe that's her way of showing affection.
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
thanks for the realization part.
her teasing part is a sensitive matter and that can really make a person irritated if she keep on doing that again and again and tell you that every time you have a problem.
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
no its not that she is talking behind my back, she just teases me about my weakness.
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
14 Apr 07
I don't really have a best friend anymore. (apart from my wife)
Most my friends have got on with their own lifes and have better things to do but I think true friends aren't like these.
True friends want to know you and take time to do things. (maybe not every hour of every day but sometime)
Kudos,
~Joey
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
14 Apr 07
yep. true friends might not be there physically every hour of each day. but atleast, they can be reached through other means... we can share stuffs and secrets with without forcing them to listen to us.
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
13 Apr 07
In my opinion, best friend and true friends are 2 different categories of friends. My best friend may not be my true friend, but my true friend is certainly one good friend, and one part of me, myself. True friends share zeal and woe together, helping each other sincerely, never expecting any returns. True friends simply trust each other and accept both the good and bad points of each other, and has no boundary.
Accept your friend as it is. One day, you may become true friends.
@Makoy1983 (1084)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
both are different things. best friend is a personal choice and a true friend is a blessing. usually, a best friend is someone who you feel the best person whom you can be with. someone you feel who's trustworthy, honest, kind and any other values that you could treasure in a person. while a true friend on the other hand is different. no matter he remains unnoticed, he's still there no matter what. he's someone who doesnt ask for any reward and all he cares about is the welfare of his friend. he's the real trustworthy, honest person. sometimes we get blinded and think that our best friend is a true friend. some people though are very blessed that their best friends are true friends
1 person likes this
@ibsnet (1268)
• India
13 Apr 07
Best friends are always true friend. Actually friendship is something which can't be defined within some restricted areas. True friend should be that friend who can share all your happiness, sorrow, your feelings in good and worst times and you should vice versa respond to you. Best friend is ideally be a true friend. But may not happen in some cases (it is seen when your worst time comes your best friend goes off) What you have said childish manner is good for friends. Take it as friendship try to make a open discussion of what you think of best friend and true friend. True friends may not be always interesting, but they are truly your friend on each and every of your feelings, share with him/her. In my opinion True friend is only the best friend in anyone's life. And to be frank very few people get true friend, though they may say they have best friends.
1 person likes this
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
i agree that many people have their best friends but not their true friend but i'm not saying that my friend is not true, we are still young and will know more about each other.
@Augustta (1850)
• Poland
15 Apr 07
my best friend is my mother,my boyfriend and my daughter...and yes,i have a aunt which live me very much...
...and being my relatives(except my lover which is my life)i do think they are my truly friends...
...rest is just amici...and even i will help or care about will never have in my heart such a place like all i said up...
1 person likes this
