Sibling rivalry

I am in the same situation now with my two year old and my two month old. Luckily, I had some prior experience with this and the same tactic that I employed before seems to be working this time as well. Try and include your daughter in the care of her brother. If you settle down to feed him and the bottle is out of your reach, ask your daughter to get it for you. When you change his diaper ask her to pass you a new, clean diaper or the powder. Any little thing that you can ask her to do that would help care for her brother is great. It will make her feel included and it will help instill in her that she should take care of her brother and love him, rather than resent him for taking up all of your attention. Of course at this age, I'm sure your son sleeps a lot so try and spend time with her while he's napping. Even if it's just cuddling on the couch while you watch a cartoon or sitting down to have lunch. It does get easier as they get older, so don't give up hope. Good luck!

I can understand what you are going through I have a 14 month old daughter and a 3 month old son. I have been a stay at home mom since my daughter was born. We were always close but she is more of a daddys girl than anything. I had never been away from her overnite until I had to go have my son. That is when things got a little crazy. She wasnt to bad when it came to me doing things with my son but when my husband did she would throw a fit. Things have gottrn better were the both of us are converned. I set time aside every day where it is just me and her doing something. I think that it makes her feel specail. My husband does the samething on the weekends when he has off. Plus I try to include her in on things that she can "help" with when it comes to her brother. She is a really good big sister. She justed wanted to be included. Since I let her do things like get the diaper when he needs to be changed, she will go get his coat when we are going somewhere just little simple things that she can do that makes her feel like a big girl. She still throws fits every once in awhile when she thinks that she is getting enough attention or if she thinks that he is getting to much. But things have gotten a lot better. It is cute sometimes because when he starts to fuss and cry a lot of times she makes it to him before I do. She has to make sure he is ok.

I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. My son is almost 2 years older than my daughter (my daughter was born the day before my sons birthday). I quit my job to stay home when my son was born so we were VERY close. I had never been away overnight from him until my daughter was born. After I came home things were completely changed. My son would try to hit my daughter (and he actually accomplished it a couple of times) and he would not sit with me anymore. What made things worse was that the more agressive he was with the baby the more I had to hold her so she would be safe from him. I wish I had done things differently looking back. They play now together but we never had our old relationship back. The good thing is that it is your DAUGHTER that you are trying to deal with. Most little girls have a natural mommy side to them. I would try to see if you could incorporate her into helping with the baby sometimes. It may make her feel special to be helping you with something so important or you could get her a new special baby doll that she can take care of with you. The one thing that I can say I wish I had done was to have special time with my son AS SOON AS THE BABY WAS BORN. Even if someone (hubby/significant other/family/friend) watches the baby for an hour while you and your daughter go for a special walk together or run down for an ice cream treat or a special trip to the library/park/etc. Perhaps different things each time. When baby is asleep try curling up with her to watch a movie together that way you can rest but it is snuggle time with HER. One more thing...if there were any special things you did with her before the baby (special bedtime reading or something) than try as hard as you can to continue with that. It will help if she doesnt' see the baby as taking you away her special time with her. No matter what you do you will feel guilt. Sorry to tell you that but I think it is part of being a mom. I hope it all works out for you. Congrats on the new addition!