Unprotecting By-Stander
By Rozie37
@Rozie37 (15499)
Turkmenistan
April 16, 2007 1:30am CST
I learned about this in a book called "Women Who Hurt Themselves," by: Dusty Miller.
She says that when a child is being abused by a parent in any way and the other parent stands by and does not intervene, the other parent is known as the unprotecting by-stander.
The child can grow up to hate both parents and sometimes they hate the unprotecting by-stander even more. Because as they get older, they realize that the abusive parent obviously had a serious problem, but that the other just stood by and watched and did nothing to help.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@Avichail (694)
• Indonesia
30 Apr 07
Hi Rosie,
You are actually bringing up the issue about sinning. In its original Hebrew language it's called "hamartia" which means that "miss the target" (I hope I can translate it better). It indicates that sin is not only about DOING anything that are forbidden, but also NOT DOING anything to prevent/eradicate evil. We often think we've done enough good by not violating any laws, but actually not promoting good is considered as sin as well.
But I agree with you on points about forgiveness. Because eventually nothing can ever happen unless God allows it to. Thus, everything is actually how we respond to things/people God brings into our lives. It's between God and us, not necessarily between us and those people. David knew it really well when he said, "Against You, You only I have sinned." Thanks for sharing your testimony, too, Rosie!
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
30 Apr 07
You are right. I just finished reading about when David did all that he did with having Uriah killed after being with his wife. That was deep, the way he said that.
My first thought was, you did Uriah and his wife wrong also. But then I said to myself, what I have learned to say so often, It does not matter what other people think, as long as God is pleased, everything else falls right into place.
A wise man once said, "All that is needed for evil to prevail is that righteous men do nothing."
1 person likes this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
16 Apr 07
My sisters and I where the abused children and yes I damn the unprotecting by-standers. I know there where many who know what my parents were doing to use girls. Yes I hate my mom, she is still a mean vendictive witch even though I took care of her for 10 years. I still continue to do her laundry and fetch and carry all she wants into the nursing home. I have as little of contact with her as possible but I do have to see her twice a week. I dread the days I have to go over and see her.
