Handling a spoiled grandchild

This is a very tough situation. Does the mother want your help with her child? I know that there have been times when my sister has said something to my kids when they are misbehaving and I feel like she has crossed the line. I feel as the parent, I should be the one to disciplin her. I would suggest that you have a family meeting wtih the 4 yr old and her mother. Tell the child that she is living in your house and must obey by your rules while she is there. Tell her what is acceptable behavior and what is not and with her mother determine the consequences of she continues to misbehave. If you and the mom both are being consistent with her discipline, she will lear what is appropriate.

You will have to talk about this to your daughter first. Make her understand that she must discipline her child if she wants the kid to respect her and love her right. Spoiled kids do not respect their parents, they always disobey and they feel unloved. Kids have a feeling deep within them (in their subconcious) that if their parents let them alone with their wrong behaviour it means that the parents just couldn't care less what happens to their kids. Thus they are therefore, unloved. Then, at the end of the conversation, tell your daughter that you have to take this issue soon with her and the husband. Next step will be to tackle same issue, now with the father and the mother of the child. Make the father understand what you have already told the mother in advance. Tell them that it will be good to withhold some things the kid may ask for for a while. They can always say that there is no money for a toy or a dress that she wants now. She will have to wait for payday. When payday comes, fulfill the promise. It could be that the toy/dress is still available or already gone. This teaches the child to have patience and to tackle with disappointments. Parents are responsible to help make the child grow up. At 4 years old, the child is already intellectuallly capable of understanding. The three of you must have patience explaining to her things about life. This is the reason why parents will always be the child's first teachers. Happy parenting and may this help you. I used to use a rod to discipline my kids when they get to be so hardheaded until they reach 6 to 7 years old. Depending on their mental maturity to cope with instructions. I don't know if this can be okay in your country. If it is okay, take a twig, a small one clear of all protrusions, then use it to strike at her butt as hard as the parent can. (Yes, only the parents can strike their kids unless they are entrusted under the full care of someone else). The child will have to be made to understand why she deserves to receive the strikes, what are the reasons behind it all. Make the child understand that she must say sorry that she crossed the parents after the strikes. She hurt her parents so much to make them strike at her/him. The parents love her/him so much it hurts to give them spankings. Then you will see that the child will grow up to be loving, caring, patient and coping well with life. Good luck and may the good Lord see you through well.

Who has custody of the child? To me, it is "your house, your rules". Sounds like the child is having some issues with her parents. That is a hard adjustment for a child. She is not really old enough to understand some things. You can't control what happens when she is with her father. Since your daughter lives with you, she and you need to seriously discuss how things should be handled. If your daughter wont take control, remind her that she needs to respect you. The child should learn that, too. Once your daughter and you establish ground rules, stick to them. Kids need boundries. Your daughter and you must show a united front. When your granddaughter sees that she cant "work" either of you maybe things will improve.

It sounds like your grand daughter is pushing to see just how far she can go. Have you talked to your daughter about the way she acts when she is alone with you? I think if your daughter was to talk to her child and tell her that whinning will not work at this house and then stuck to that. The whinning would soon be over. My daughter knows that if she whines the answer becomes no immediatley. We dont allow begging either.If your daughter doesnt want your help then all you can do is try to ignore it.

This situation is similar to what I went through with my SIL. My nephews know that I won't give in to demands or whining so they don't do it when I am around. My SIL remarked about this to me. I offered to show her how to handle that kind of behavior so that the kids wouldn't do this to her anymore. That is what I would do with your daughter. Support her when she tries to impliment what you teach her when you can. As for the father spoiling the child. If she brings up that daddy lets her explain that daddy has a different way of doing things and that she prefers the way she does it.

This is a tough situation. I feel for you as I am sure it must be frustrating to listen to her whine. I wouldn't give her mother any advice as that will only cause friction for you. However, if the child is in your home and she is being difficult over a prolonged period of time, you can gently step in and intervene and see if you can intercept the situation. The outcome may go either way with her mother though; she may appreciate your help or resent it. She also may come to rely on you as well. There are just no easy answers in this situation.

I would have to say stay out of it. I am just saying as a mother myself I don't mind when my mother gives me advice but when she interupts my disiplining I feel it just confuses the child all that much more. To be honest I hear this alot that most children are better for the grandparents than the actual parents. Just my opionion.

Your granddaughter is living with you with her mother. As you all are living together, you should consider their problem as your otherwise in future it would case serious problem for you. Your granddaughter is only 4 years old, so there nothing to be worried about it, as you have time build her in a proper way. I feel that you should talk to your daughter regarding this matter, do not just leave this matter. Ask your daughter to be patient with her child, but not to agree with whatever the child is demanding. Your daughter is agreeing with the child's demand, so she is getting more and more demanding day by day. You and your daughter have to be carefully deal with the child. give her something as per her need and demand but not everything!! If you still find it difficult to manage, you can consult a child consultant but I hope everything will be fine!

It must be difficult for you being the grandmom. You don't want to spoil the child, but it seems your daughter is at a loss everytime the child throws temper tantrums. The key is, never reinforce a negative behavior. Temper tantrums such as crying, biting, rolling on the floor should be discouraged by not giving in to the child's wishes. If you do, you are actually reinforcing that behavior which is undesirable. Talk to your daughter, and plan how this can be done, without you intervening along the way. Your daughter can see a specialist on child behavior and can seek advise on how to handle difficult children. Remember to allow the child to calm down before talking to her why her behavior is not acceptable. It's never easy to be a parent. There is no secret formula, really. Congrats for being a very concerned grandmom.

Well you do have to step in if it gives you a BP. If you have to spend a lot of time with her, you are responsible for inculcating good manners in her. When you brought up your children, there should be no difficulty in dealing with their children. The only thing is that you have to take her parents into confidence and tell them to stay away when you are being strict with her. Thats all.

I would recommend letting your daughter deal with it. If you step in and help, it may seem to the child that you, not her mother, are the authority. And I'm very impressed that you asked. Too many grandparents don't see the problem with undermining parents.