My daughter has been hurting herself!
By judyt00
@judyt00 (3497)
Canada
April 24, 2007 4:02pm CST
A while a go, I made a post about my daughter living with an abusive man. It turns out that he is more abusive than she'd let on. He's been tearing the house apart, hurting the dog, and threatening her all with an ulterior motive. He's been trying to get her to hit him so he can call the cops and get custody of their kids! So, instead of hitting him, like we all want to right now, she has been taking her anger out by pinching and punching herself in places where nobody can see. She went to talk to a judge yesterday, with my older daughter there, and he showed up,and all this came out. Thankfully, my daughter has temporary custody now, and he only gets the kids for 3 hours 3 times a week. In May, there will be a custody hearing where I hope he will have most of his rights revoked.
10 people like this
27 responses
@wrdsofwisdm (1069)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Just reading this makes me angry. I cannot believe your daughter is hurting herself like that. She needs to file a restraining order and get her, the children and the dog away from this jacka**. Abusive people are unpredictable and very, very dangerous. Is she renting with him or do they own the place together? If she is renting, she needs to tell the owner/landlord about the situation and get out of the lease. Does she realize the emotional or physical abuse he can do in 3 hours of visitation? I hope she does the right thing and gets herself and all away from this jerk. Temporary custody just won't work.
4 people like this
@judyt00 (3497)
• Canada
24 Apr 07
We are working on it, he has been removed by thepolice 3 times in the past 3 months for violence, so st least there is thet going for her, and SHe has a good support system, She is going to move into the house my son andI own together, and my son and his business partner who currently live with us are going to rent an apartment. That way, ther will always be someone in the house for the kids. They need the stability right now as oth are acting out quite badly
2 people like this
@wrdsofwisdm (1069)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Poor babies. They must be traumatized. I'm so glad she is finally getting out of that mess.
3 people like this
@onecutehoneybear (938)
• United States
24 Apr 07
What a scary thought. I will be praying for your daughter. This has to be a hard situation to deal with.
Keep us updated on how things go with her.
3 people like this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
24 Apr 07
yup. an abusive relationship is truly scary. but she is still lucky to have supportive loving parents with her and also siblings to back her up. she will win the case... i have positive thoughts about it. take care..
3 people like this
@healwell (1268)
• Ahmedabad, India
25 Apr 07
Well this is a legal issue at this time, but i know that for a father it is more than that!
I feel that your daughter should have take strong stand regarding custody and keep the kids away from father!
It is an issue of abusive thing so that will help in this matter so preparation regarding that must be taken care of!
And yes human aspects should be considered in the consideration of natural law, nothing more than that!
Wish you all the best!
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
24 Apr 07
she need to stay far away from this maN AND I WOULD REQUEST HIS PARENTAL VISITS BE SUPERVISED HE SOUNDS DANGEROUS!
2 people like this
@rodeotexas (1153)
• United States
24 Apr 07
So sorry to hear this. Prayers for you daughter and I hope all turns out well.
2 people like this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
24 Apr 07
sorry to hear about what your daughter had gone through. such a man should be punished. i hope he will be. your daughter does not deserve to be treated bad. when you all did for your daughter was to take care of her for many years and this man will just ruin her life? that's so sad for parents and loved ones to feel.
glad to know that she's gonna get the kids. and i know your daughter will win the custory trial.
happy myLotting!
@tater03 (1765)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I am so glad to see that she has left and that this has finally came out into the open. Now hopefully she can get help if needed and get her life back on track. I know as a mother you probably feel so helpless but she is doing all the right things by leaving.
1 person likes this
@icequeen (2840)
• Canada
25 Apr 07
I am terribly sorry to hear this. I hope her and kids are away from this man for good. I hope she seeks out some help because this kind of behaviour is not good. She needs to find out why she would be doing this to herself...? She needs to know it is not her fault that he is abusive and threatening and that she is a good person and didn't deserve his abuse. I hope her and the kids can start a new life and find happiness....good luck.
1 person likes this
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I am amazed that your daughter would hurt herself like this after being abused by him. She needs to get away from this guy immdiately! She needs to get those kids away from that too. I grew up in an abusive situation and it is hell on the kids in the house. It is a scary feeling when the fighting starts and it is a sure way to damage the kids forever. Most children of these kinds of relationships will end up in an abusve relationship later in life or will be abusers themselves. Tell her too get out NOW!!!
1 person likes this
@ajmccrary1986 (454)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I'm glad you told her that. I just responded that way a minute ago.
1 person likes this
@ajmccrary1986 (454)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Oh, my goodness! She needs counseling and a restraining order. Has she punched and pinched herself before she began living with that varmint? If she hurt herself before living with guy and didn't get counseling, she needs to now. A restraining order would get the guy in jail, hopefully for life!
1 person likes this
@lightningMD (5931)
• United States
24 Apr 07
It's great that she has temporary custody. Now she needs some counselling. She needs to learn how to handle the anger and the hurt she has bottled up inside her. The kids might need help to get over everything they saw and heard. I wouldnt count on his rights being revoked. If he is being allowed unsupervised visits right now they probably will not revoke them. He might even get joint custody. So make sure she is prepared for those possibilities. Good luck I hope she wins.
@Windrunner (477)
• Pakistan
25 Apr 07
well thats horrible. your daughter's life is being torn apart. and with kids too. the man who is living with your daughter should be given some treatment or punishment. his behaviour will have a bad effect on the kids. violence is stamped very quickly on young minds. get them away from that terrible man. i really sympathise with your situation. may God help you .
@raqbelluk (44)
•
25 Apr 07
Your daughter needs to get away from this man NOW . No excuses , just away . Because if she doesn't not only will she be hurt but the children will end up being hurt too . I hope to God he does get his parental rights rebuked as he is obviously a danger . It is not fair that your daughter should have to live in fear or that the kids are being taught it .
Keep them safe
1 person likes this
@maevic (819)
• Bahrain
25 Apr 07
I'm sorry but i didn't read yoour earlier post..how old is your daughter? I think you have to bring her to a doctor that can help her emotionally. It's very traumatic...she needs help and she needs you more than anything else.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
25 Apr 07
this is really mad... your daughter needs to get out of this situation soon and get as far away as she can from the jerk... she is lucky that she has a loving and caring mum like you who always support her... i hope she will win the case and get full custody of the children... abusive person like her partner should not be allowed to be near children as it will be very dangerous and we won't know what can happen to the children when they are with him... good luck and please keep us updated...
1 person likes this
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Well, that's great that she got custody for now, of the kids. Please keep an eye on her, if he's that abusive ~ He's liable to really be angry over this and REALLY try to hurt her! She needs to get a restraining order! I will keep her, and her children in my prayers! Keep us posted on what happens, thanks! Take care! ~Stephanie
1 person likes this
@shafinazatul (74)
• Malaysia
25 Apr 07
i know this must be hard since he is fighting for the custody as well..but something have to be done..tell her to be strong..he is not the right man..
1 person likes this
@ktwags (52)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I totally agree with alot of these other comments , those visitations need to be supervised. I do hope though that your daughter can find a different way to vent before your grandchildren end up with this jerk because she accidently went to far when she was upset. I know how she feels when there is nothing you can do or feels like it. Her and this man are not together anymore ,right. I mean i know you talk about custody but at the beginning you also talk about her living with him. I mean if they are still together she needs to take the kids and go to a shelter or something. I will be praying for you, your daughter and your grandkids, i hope things get better for everyone!!!!
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
25 Apr 07
Sorry to hear about what your daughter had gone through, it sounds like a real nightmare. At least it has been officially documented and it sounds like the law is coming down on her side. It must be very hard to see your child hurting and in trouble.
I hop they throw the book at him and it is a big, heavy one.
