How were you treated in school?
By happymommy3
@happymommy3 (2012)
United States
May 3, 2007 9:31am CST
How were you treated growing up in school? Were you one who had alot of friends, were you in the "popular crowd", made fun of, the outcast? I'd like to know about your story growing up in school. I absolutely loved school, I loved learning. So I wasn't in the "popular crowd", but wasn't one of the nerds either, lol. I was made fun of alot by the mean girls, even pushed around sometimes. Alot of the girls said I was stuck-up. I had friends but I was shy and quiet so I wasn't one of those who was friends with everybody. I think about how I am now and wish I could go back because I sure wouldn't let those girls push me around now, but back then I was one who just thought I'd ignore the girls, after all, I wasn't better than them but I wasn't gonna go down to their level and look stupid and fight just because they were jealous or thought I was too good. Of course I still think that way now, but I don't sit there and take it like I used too. I see my oldest daughter, she's only 8 right now but she is the same way I was in school, loves school, has friends, but still is a bit shy, but she is very sweet to everyone and there are kids who have already picked on her and I don't want her to go through the same thing but I know at times she will because there will always be mean, jealous people who feel they have to pick on others to feel better about themselves. What did you go through growing up in school? Do your kids go through the same thing, or do you worry about them?
6 people like this
24 responses
@akinad (446)
• Philippines
4 May 07
i had a lot of friends when i was at school..but sometimes i feel like other students get intimated by me...i feel like they really wanna be friends with me but they are shy to approach me..or maybe they think that i'm such a snob..lol!!
but all in all i can say that i had a great student life..it was such fan that if i were to choose which part of my life to go back into,i would surely choose my student life!!
have a nice day!
2 people like this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
17 Aug 07
Well that's great to hear, and to hear you would go back and do it all over again, is even better! Thanks:)
@charlestchan (1415)
• Malaysia
4 May 07
i think i'm one of the outcast... not many people actually love to talk with me.. i guess it's because i dislike talking to them too? haha. i'm a quiet person at times.. and sometimes.. i can be really noisy.. it depends on my mood.. and i just don't know why my topics are not suitable for many others.. sometimes.. it's because that i'm mix race.. maybe they dislike other races joining them.. they feel awkward.. but they're wrong.. everyhuman should not be judged by their race.. is it their own thinking that shape them.. right? sometimes people will tease me.. i think they're just jealous that i'm a mix... well. .who knows =_=
2 people like this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
17 Aug 07
Oh, an outcast is such a harsh word, do you really feel that way? You are right, no one should ever be judged by their race, unfortunately there are horrible people out there who are that mean. If someone's treating you bad or not wanting to talk to you and you're feeling the say way about them it you shouldn't let that bother you too much. You shouldn't even worry about people who are being racist against you, be proud of yourself! Thanks:)
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
3 May 07
Well I was really quite in my younger years of school. But as I continue on to high school I became more confident in myself and became one the in crowds.LOL I wasnt mean to anyone because I thought that was just wrong. Kids can be so cruel today. And to each other.
2 people like this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
17 Aug 07
You are absolutely right, I'm scared to think how it is now and will be in school for my kids growing up. I'm happy to hear you had a good time in school, thanks:)
@ladyljs (1303)
• United States
3 May 07
My father worked in a profession that required us to travel...so I was always the "new girl" in school. By the time I graduated high school, I had been in 11 schools including one overseas.
I learned not to make friends too easily...because I would be leaving them when we moved.
I was not what you would call popular, but I did run around with quite a few people because of all of the extra curriculars that I took. Band, Thesbians, Yearbook, Cheerleading, and student councel just to name a few.
I was really happy to spend my last 2 and 1/2 years in the same school right before I graduated.
On the up side, this experience made me very outgoing and not afraid of change.
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
4 May 07
Wow, that would be tough growing up in school like that. That's great that you look at your situation in such a positive way, thanks for responding:)
@momoftwingirls (859)
• United States
3 May 07
You sound like me HappyMommy3, well kinda up.
I went to private school until the 7th grade when I entered public school, Suzanne Middle School in Walnut, CA.
Let me just say it was very hard for me to adjust to the public school life and because I had no friends. All these kids practically grew up with each other and were already friends. I had to work my way in and I was VERY SHY and withdrawn.
Although, my freshman year of HS I did join the drill team to make some friends, which I did, but I was still very shy.
I can say I hated HS. Could not wait to gradute. I did not even like to study. But, when I attended my JC, Mt. San Antonio College, I florished. I broke out of my shy shell and was a new person. Because in college, everyone is there to learn and have FUN. Plus, there were peolpe there of all ages...not just high schoolers recently graduated.
In high school though, many of my peers thought I was stuck up because they did not know how shy I was and, I was a crybaby BIG TIME!! That alone was a huge turnoff...
My twins are 18 months old and are not going through any of this and hopefully will not have to. I am going to train them up to be strong willed and have positive self esteem.
2 people like this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
4 May 07
Sounds like it was pretty tough for you in highschool. I know I hated when people would call me stuck up and they had no idea what kind of person I really was. I'm glad to hear things changed for you after that. I think schools will always be the same, maybe even worse when our kids get older, but you are right on, we have to instill in our children to be strong willed and have a positive self esteem. Thanks much for responding:)
@mariobarril (19)
• Brazil
4 May 07
I was a known youngster and appraised well, then all knew me and liked me
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
17 Aug 07
Well good for you, sounds like you had no problem in school! Unfortunately alot of people don't have it that good in school but I'm glad to hear you did:)
@magnet (2087)
• United States
17 Aug 07
I went through many stages growing up in school. In Kindergarten it was a blast but I was very high energy and immature so I was picked on some but at the time it did not bother me a bit. I was always happy. In the first grade I have blocked memories.I can't remember anything except how my 1st grade teacher treated me. She was so mean to me. She use to give me assignments in class and constantly take my work and tear it up and throw it in the trash and say DO IT AGAIN all day. I waited till almost the end of the year and told my parents about it and my mom had a conference with her and she all of that stopped. I can't even remember my first grade teacher's name because I have repressed memories of the first grade.2nd through the 7th grade the children picked on me because the leader of the pack told them to pick and they did as she said. My confidence was broken and I became shy. When I went to the 8th grade everything was fine until they found out that I was still a virgin. I was bullied on because they found out that I was a virgin. I was bullied everyday until I got so angry that I beat her up and knocked her unconcious,that earned me respect and people thought I was cool because I got in a fight. 9th-12th grades were my best years in school.I was finally happy and started to gain my self-esteem back but I was still alittle shy I did not get more outspoken until I went to college.
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
17 Aug 07
Ha! Oh my goodness! Sorry I know that's not funny, but I guess there's only so much someone can take, lol. There's times I wanted to punch some of those girls' lights out who made fun of me but was never as brave as you. If I could I'd give you best response also! Thanks:)
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
4 May 07
my school experience was similar to or in many cases worse than yours. some incidents are etched so sharply in my mind that they have scarred me for life. one such incident was when i was just into
std 1 from kindergarten. in kindergarten, we were allowed to open our lunchboxes and have whatever any time of the day. how was i to know that in class 1 you can have lunch only during tiffin breaks? well, me the unlucky chose to have one of my favourite toffees just the time when the headmistress visited our class and just like the typical mean headmistress, she thrasehd me verbally in front of the entire class, leaving me mortified and in tears. then again, just coz i am way taller than average indian girls, throughout my school life i was made to sit at the last benches so that i dont obstruct the vision of shorter girls. how i yearned to sit at the first bench, right in front of the teacher and be her pet, just for one single day! and in class 4, i remember a group of mean girls just pulled the chair from under me at the moment i was about to sit. and when i fell sprawled on the ground with my specs flying, the entire class burst out laughing and clapping. i was the typical introvert whom everyone loved to pick on. i just didn't know what and when to reply. thankfully my son is an extrovert and he mixes well with his group and teachers.
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
20 Aug 07
A lot many perspectives have changed nowadays but about 28yrs back, teachers were really mean. Child psychology was not so much into school those days and the only motto of teachers was to enforce discipline, without a thought about the impact it has on a child’s tender mind. Am glad things have changed for the better and yes, my son is doing great, thank you. Being a cancerian, he is a natural flair of going hard and soft (according to his convenience).
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
17 Aug 07
Gosh that is terrible! Shame on that teacher for one, to verbally attack you like that, and especially at such a young age, doesn't sound like that lady needs to be a teacher! Hopefully you have become a strong person, which I'm sure you have, and sounds like you're son is doing great! So glad to hear that! Thanks:)
@kathy77 (7486)
• Australia
3 May 07
While I attended school, I had my own friends which were quite a few and they we were quite popular. Oh dear you did not really have a good time at school did you, maybe this was due to you being shy, what I used to do while I was in school was to talk to the girls that were shy and invite them to join my group of friends so that they would enjoy their school life. There are unfortunately those mean and jealous girls but me and my friends stayed well away from them. In regards to my children when they went to school they were very popular and I always taught them to be kind to others. Probably this was due to me being adopted and my adopted relatives not accepting me as one of them.
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
4 May 07
Yes, there will always be those mean and jealous girls, in every school. I was shy but I was one who was friends with anyone and I gave everyone a chance. So I talked to the kids that no one would talk to, the ones that people made fun of because they didn't have nice clothes, or weren't "pretty" in others eyes. I had a good time in school, there were just alot of times I remember walking down the halls, girls bumping into me making remarks. I think it made them more mad because I would just keep on walking and not give them the time of day. Thanks for responding:)
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
3 May 07
I wish school could have been a better experience for me, but there isn't anything I can do about it now, and I'm starting to really forget about it and rebuild my self-esteem.
The kids I went to school with were brutal towards me, because not only did I have a weight problem back than, but had a visible skin condition to boot. I was made fun of, harassed and the like all through school. Granted I had friends, but they were few. All the other friends I had were friends of my brother, and sometimes I think they were only tolerating me, because they didn't want my brother angry with them. I truly felt back than that I didn't belong anywhere, and was some sort of alien. No kid so have to go through that.
I worry sometimes that my kids may go through the same thing, but I worry even more that I may have passed on the gene for the skin condition I have (psoriasis). I can only hope at this point right now, that if when they start going through their growth spurts that if it does show up, that I can help them be strong, and lessen the impact the teasing may have on their life.
1 person likes this
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
17 Aug 07
Thanks for the best response. It's been a real struggle for me to rebuild and get over my self-esteem issues. And like stated before kids can be really brutal and mean towards others. Even though I tried to dismiss most of it, a lot of the teasing did have a lasting impact on me that I'm still struggling with today. I know I can't protect my kids from everything, but at least I will try my best to lessen the impact it may have on their life.
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
17 Aug 07
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through all that. You are right, no child should have to ever go through that in school. It's just so sad how so many kids never think about how they are affecting someone's life, but it's good to hear you are rebuilding your self-esteem back. I believe you can be your child's greatest teacher and example. I was made fun of alot in school for always being different. I never had a problem, atleast I don't believe I did with my appearance but people were mean anyways because I didn't feel like I had to act like others just to fit in, and being a proud christian growing up wasn't easy, so they were pretty mean. I sometimes see that already happening with my daughter and she's barely going to the third grade. But I always teach her that she's not better than anyone else but she should be proud of herself for doing good in school and not acting and saying what others are saying just to be "cool". I always tell my kids that no matter what, kids will always say mean things but those kids who are saying those mean things probably are really hurt inside and treating others bad because they're so unhappy they go and try to make others feel the same way. Your kids will do great, just keep being that strong example for them and you will pass that on to them:)
@mahmah (436)
• United States
3 May 07
I was the fat, poor girl that everyone made fun of in school ( I was heavy and didn't have designer clothes and didn't get my hair done at the beauty parlor etc, etc). I think their goal in life was to make me cry (which back then I did quite a bit of). It took me moving to a different state for two years to teach me to not let them get to me. When I moved back, everyone treated me pretty different and I didn't take any of their trash. I ended up missing out on a lot of possible friendships though because I had a hard time letting go of the past but how good of friends could they have been if they spent the first 9 years of school making fun of me and calling me nasty names right. I think though I am a stronger person today for the most part. I am still shy and don't trust people much ( a lot of backstabbing and lying in school) but if people don't like the way I look or dress, then they really don't have to look at me. I don't have children of my own but my sister's kids are in school now (1st grade and Pre-K). The older one is so much like her mother, I don't think she will have many problems and if she does I am sure she can take care of herself. The littler one is so shy but I think she will turn out ok and her sister will be near by to keep an eye on her, so to speak.
2 people like this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
3 May 07
I'm sorry you had to go through all that in school. Kids can be so cruel. I'm glad though to hear you are a stronger person and don't take trash from anyone anymore. No one should take that from anyone. Thanks so much for responding and sharing what you went through:)
1 person likes this
@RookRocks (381)
• Philippines
3 May 07
Are schools in America really this harsh? I grew up in a different country, and here we learn to be nice to each other, tolerate each other's differences and generally get along well.
Back in elementary and high school I was not really one of those popular kids. I was respected and generally liked, but not really a model material. I'm more of a nerd, actually. I suck at sports but do good in the classroom. I get along well with girls and make a lot of friends with boys.
I think it is just right to worry about your kids. School is a place where she is out of your monitor, and you trust her well-being to other people. It's a big risk, but a completely necessary one. It's natural for that age to make a lot of friends. But she better grow up of her shyness when she reaches her teens. It is tough for meek people during the teenage years.
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
3 May 07
Well I think in all schools there are bullies or people who treat others differently. Although here in America all schools teach children to treat one another the way they want to be treated but not all kids follow that rule. I'm glad to hear you got treated well in school. You are right, it is tough when you are shy growing up in school but that doesn't give others the right to treat the shy one bad or differently. Not saying you're saying that, but just making a point. Thanks for responding:)
@curvychick77 (1084)
• United States
3 May 07
I was more of the one who kept to herself. Sure I had friends, a few close friends at least. I was picked on because I was chubby and very shy. Even when I was in the drama club and student council, it still didn't change the way I was treated.
There were times when I wanted to just vanish from the face of the earth, just so I didn't have to face them daily. Now that those years are over, I have more friends than I did then, now people accept me as I am, and personally I like it that way. I'm not ugly and I'm no supermodel but just knowing those around me care about me and love me for me, makes me feel good about myself.
2 people like this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
4 May 07
That's great to hear you feel good about yourself now. It can be hard growing up in school when people make fun of you so much to have that positive attitude. Thanks for responding:)
@solomon_sky (9)
• Indonesia
4 May 07
In the school, I'm not hard to make friends. I join with the popular group (usually the popular group are not smart kids, they have bad atitude, but they popular, like my group). But in that group I became the quiet boy, and they respect with me. And the other hand, I also became the top in lesson. I got good point from my teacher, and my friend. Actually, I never study in school, I always study at home. So in school I can hangout with my 'bad friends', but at home I study hard.
2 people like this
@gewcew23 (8007)
• United States
3 May 07
I was shy and kind of an outcast. I had a few friends but not many I didn't really like school much until I was in college and studying what I wanted to. I was picked on and made fun of especially in 5th and 6th grade my mother made me where polyester pants and polyester shirts to school and I never had jeans until jr high.
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
4 May 07
Goodness, that must have been hard to always be made fun of because of how you had to dress. I still can't believe how kids are so young making fun of other kids. I see kids in my daughter's pre-k class making fun of kids because of how they are dressed. Makes you wonder what in the world their parents are teaching them. Thanks for responding:)
@sizzle3000 (3036)
• United States
4 May 07
My high school years are best forgotten. I do have to say that the experience has made me a strong person. I have very good sef esteam because in school I may not have been liked by others but I did like myself. I raised my daughter to be herself and like herself and not worry about others. People will talk and make fun of anything. You can be the smart one, the fat one, the skinny one, the dumb one, the loner, it doesn't matter you will be bullied at some point. Just be your self and don't worry about what others think or say and you will be alright. I can say that I do hold a grudge and it would not be a happy moment for me to meet any of the fools I went to school with. The people that do the teasing and bullying don't care about anyone and most grow up to be a poor parent as well.
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
17 Aug 07
You are absolutely right about that. I've seen alot of people who were part of the "in crowd" today, and it really shouldn't surprise me but it still does sometimes I guess. Most of them now are really doing absolutely nothing with their lives, are single parents with tons of kids, and really look terrible. Thanks:)
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
20 Aug 07
I'm in the "in" crowd, actually. I'm already a senior, so there's the word "seniority" coming around. Usually, seniors are not so shy about stuffs because they've been used to it. They've been "popular", "out-going" and "sharing". I've never experienced bullying before. I guess I'm a bit lucky.
1 person likes this
@Lovett (464)
• India
4 May 07
well, thankfully I had a good school, where we were treated equally n were not ridiculed at all. I was the class monitor, so no one messed with me. Although other monitors came from high class backgrounds, n made friends from high society, I aloso had a chance to become a part of 'in' group. But I always resisted, cause I came from a middle class background. I made friends wioth the shy ones in class, n with those who were poor, or have difficulty with their studies. As I always exceled in my studies, I ensured my other unfortunate friends never lost their chance to enjoy studying, n the fact that i was a monitor gave me that opportunity. The best part is that now i m in touch with most of them n very close to a couple of them. They have become friends for life,,,,...
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
17 Aug 07
I love your response! You sound like a very postive and friendly person. If only everyone could think like you. Thanks:)
@dex1486 (272)
• Philippines
4 May 07
i was one of those who are academically exceling. but at some point, i felt left behind with the crowd i thought i belong to. by then i started to measure up myself with them. i saw myself far weaker than they are because even if i'm studying hard as well, i still cannot understand some topics that took them short-time to master. i remember one time, we were to be entered in a math competition. The group was supposed to review as a group, assisting each and everyone with the techniques we are weak at. But just as when i expect someone to help me with the 'series of powers' topic, no one approached me and even dared to ask if i know somethin about it. i felt like an outsider. and later i learned not to depend on others with the things you're weak at. that experience made me a loner for a long time until now in college. i learned to depend to myself more than to depend on others. that cannot be changed anymore, i think. But i'm glad that i'm motivated all the way to learn what i need to learn. today, i do have friends. but i don't trust them as much as i trust my parents and myself.
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
17 Aug 07
Well sounds like you learned something great. That's a good point there, of course we can depend on others at some point for things but you always have to depend on yourself first. Thanks:)
@wonderful1 (2075)
• China
4 May 07
I feel lonely in my school.When I went to my elementary school, the students didn't talk with me. Because they have communicated for half of year when I came there. So I did a lot of funny things to attract them. They just had a look at me with a loud laugh. Someday, a girl said we could go home together ,I was very happy, and I think she would be my first friend. But I made a misunderstanding. She just went home with me, because we had the same direction. At school, she never talked with me.At last, I knew why they didn't make friends with me. They were ashamed of having a poor friend. At time ,our family was very poor, we even had enough umbrellas. When it was raining ,my mom often put a piece of plastic on my head. My classmatics often laughed me about that piece of plastic. I felt embarassed. If I had a chance to be a student, I wouldn't feel embarassed again. My mom often says that people should not feel ashamed of poverty but inability.As a child, you have no right to laugh others who live in poor because you are living on parents' money.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
17 Aug 07
Good point there, I like that. As a child, you have no right to laugh at others who live in poor because you are living on parents' money. Sorry you had to go through that, sounds like it made you a strong person, I know, if only we could go back and do it again, but it teaches us all something for our future as an adult and what to teach our children. Thanks:)
