Stand Off Ends In Tragedy
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
United States
May 3, 2007 8:20pm CST
Tuesday around 11:00 am I was out and about doing some errands when I was witness to a stand off between police and a distraught individual (at the end of the discussion I will post up the link to the news story)which left me stranded in the wrong place at the wrong time. I try to ignore that it happened and place what I saw out of my mind, but it's hard to do when you are witness to a grown man taking his own life. Life being the most precious thing to me, I find it hard to get over a sadness that keeps trying to well up inside of me. I tried to ignore what was going on, and tried to get away, cause I know how some of those stand offs end, but I was stuck in traffic, no place to turn around, and roads blocked from every angle it seemed.
If you were in my place, how would handle being witness to someone taking their own life? Any advice one can give will surely be helpful. If none can be given thanks for listening (reading) and letting me get this out.
here is the link to the news story: http://www.gcnewsgazette.com/articles/2007/05/03/local_news/news70.txt
2 people like this
9 responses
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
4 May 07
Wow what a terrible thing to have to witness. I'm not sure how I would feel if I were in your place, but I gruess talking about it would be helpful. I know trying not to think about it will probably just make you think more about it. What a sad situation. When there is something like this that won't leave my mind, I tell myself there is nothing that I could have done to prevent it and somethings were just meant to be. Perhaps you witnessed this for reasons we may never know. So sorry for your traumma. May your day be blessed.
2 people like this
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
4 May 07
I do understand the concept of some things happen for a reason. And If there was a lesson I had to learn from this I would surely liked to have known what it was, cause I know all to well that life is a fragile thing and in any instant it can be snuffed out quicker than a person could snap his/her fingers. And mostly I would have picked something less disturbing as that. Within the responses I have read, all have some pretty sound advice which I plan on trying, in coping with this. Thanks for responding and your advice.
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
4 May 07
Hi Hun, I am so sorry that you had to whitness this. I couldn't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I have never been in that kind of a situation so I don't know what to suggest or advice I'm sorry. The only thing I can do is be here for you as a friend, and if you need to talk I am just a pm or an email away.
1 person likes this
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
4 May 07
Thanks. It's ok that you don't have any advice to give, some don't and I respect that and it means much to me that some just take the time to listen. Right now I am feeling a bit better, but there are moments where things sneak up on you. Thanks for being there for me. *hugs*
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
6 May 07
Your more then welcome for being here for you hun, but I don't feel you need to thank me really, I am happy to help whenever I can you know that, and that's what friends are for. *hugs back*
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
4 May 07
Life is a gift, and to see a troubled person take it, is even more stressful. I am so sorry you witnessed this, as you have a tender sensitive heart. You may never get it out of your mind. I do not know what you can do. Hopefully time will soften the pain you. I will say a prayer for you my friend. God bless you.
1 person likes this
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
5 May 07
Thanks Margie. I've been talking it out as emotions well to the surface, as other's have posted, and it's helping to a degree. It's all over town, so even if I sat here all day long trying to forget it wouldn't work. I imagine in time, things will soften, but seeing something like that I believe is something one will never really forget.
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
4 May 07
I am sorry you had to witness such a situation. The only advice I can give you is not to dwell on it. You dont say if you witnessed the actual act as he was in a car but even then I would just try and think of it as a waste of a life which you had no control over.
1 person likes this
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
5 May 07
Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately I nearly had a front row seat to the event. Thankfully though my attention was adverted to something else the moment he shot himself, but that gunfire sound echoes through my mind. It's hard to explain really the impact this has had on my life, I try not to dwell on it and move on with my own life, which I am doing, since it was not my life that ended that day. But to be there and witness, even if only through sound, and seeing the body pulled from the car, has played it's tricks within my mind.
@xfallenxlostx (2074)
• United States
4 May 07
Wow, sweetie...i am so so so sorry that you had to witness that. i really cannot tell you how to deal with it other than to take it one day at a time. You need o fae your feelings, though, and not ignore them. Talk to people about it. Get it out. i know it is going ot be really hard for you and i hope that we here on myLot can help you out.
@GergOnline (399)
• United States
4 May 07
I wouldnt let it bother me. There was nothing you could do. That was his choice to end his oun life, and you should feel bad for him. just keep on living your oun life and be thankful for it.
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@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
4 May 07
this is really scary and upsetting... i think i will have a nightmare every night when i sleep if i happen to witness a person taking his own life like you do... what i will do is i will pray to God to give me peace and strength to forget the incident and move on with my life... other than that, i don't know what i can do anymore...
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@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
4 May 07
So far my sleeping mind is keeping quiet about this. So at least I get some peace during sleep. Though it's still pretty hard to deal with.
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
4 May 07
((((((((Jeweledbluerose))))))
Do basically the opposite of what you are trying to do. Don't put it out of your mind or try to ignore it. It happened and you saw it.
What you need to do is find a good friend with whom you can openly talk about it. Someone who will be able to handle every detail of the event and your feelings about it.
I was a paramedic, disaster responder, paratrooper and did search and rescue. I don't do any of that anymore because, after 20 years of doing and seeing, I got burned out. So please take the advice of someone who has been there.
I pray for you.
1 person likes this
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
4 May 07
Thanks for your advice Ted *hugs* I will surely listen to what you have given to me. Though getting ahold of a friend will have to wait til tomorrow since they are all in bed at this time. So will have to suffice with talking it out online for the moment.
It's a nasty habit of mine in which I try to push most things that upset me to the back of mind until they are eating me up like some form of ravenous monster and have some sort of break down. Thanks again for your advice.
@lisado (1227)
• United States
4 May 07
I honestly don't know. I can't imagine having to be (basically) forced to watch someone kill themselves. I don't think it is something that can be ignored, though. You might want to talk to a counselor. Seriously. I don't think I could handle the feelings going on inside of me from something like that, but ignoring it won't make it go away. Think about talking to someone. Even if it's a pastor or someone else. It'll help to get those feelings out.
Do you happen to know what the full story is behind this whole thing? Maybe I'm living in a cave or something, but I don't recall hearing anything about this before? The article didn't give many details of the history, but I can't see why this situation had to end this way. :(
1 person likes this
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
4 May 07
Basically the man who killed himself was a self proclaimed leader of a small colony like situation, not far from where I live called Lavita. They have their own church, don't have electricity, and basically are very few in number. A few months before this happened Child Protective Services was out investigating the area and found the condition to be not suitable for children to be living in(there's old rusted cars sitting around, bunch of garbage everywhere, and pretty filthy from what I am told) and took the children. He believed than and up until he killed himself that the government was trying to close down Lavita for good, thus destroying his church and "community". He preferred to die, before seeing his "community" brought to an end. It's sounding almost like an extremist of some sort to me, but it's how it was lined out for me.
I have been talking it out with a friend, and feeling a bit a better about the situation, but it's something that will stick with me for awhile to come.
