My husband HATES me!!

I'd have told him he has 2 legs and a heart beat, turn the damned heat down himself. You have to develop a backbone, woman! You aren't his slave, you are his wife, that means you are his partner, not servant. Next time he gets rude with you, get rude right back and if he hits you, call the cops and have his butt thrown in jail. Make him understand that you are a person too!

I would wonder has he always been this way or is this some new behavior for him? If it is somehting new than I would think that there is something bothering him that he is not ready to talk about yet. I would try to find some quiet time to maby get him to talk about what is wrong and assure him that as his wife you are there to help and support him with any problems he may be having. I wish you all the best and hope things get better soon.

I would try to have a talk with him about why he is behaving the way he is. If that doesn't work, I would try to find out if he is having problems with his job, or if he is concerned about money, or if he may be feeling ill and doesn't want you to know. When any of these issues are on the mind, it can make one irritable and nasty to those around them, especially their loved ones.

You said things have been okay, but not great. So I think that means this is new behavior for your husband. I think you should wait until he has had a good dinner, and is not in the middle of something and ask him, honestly, quietly how you can help him. It may be there is nothing, or it might be that there are problems with work or something. Do not play coy games with him, or to challenge his position as head of your household. I know many say stand up to him and demand he treat you better but I don't agree---GOD made husbands the head and wives the helpmate.

I think you need to start standing up for yourself, he's not your boss, you & he, in a marriage, are supposed to be equals. Maybe over dinner you could ask him why he acts that way towards you, maybe he just really hates his job & takes it out on you when he gets home? Could that be what's making him be all moody like this - you did say it's when he gets home from work. I guess it also depends on how long this kind of behaviour has been going on for & how low you've been letting it go on for! Just make sure he knows you're not there to be ordered around!

Oh, i feel sorry for that one. You should just try to talk to him when he is in a nice mood and try to ask him if there's something wrong. Maybe he got a big problem now and he does not know how to solve it, that's why he is just getting back to you. In your 9 years, you have been through a lot of things already and hope you can overcome this one.

you have to try and communicate in a calm way. You can then ask questions and really listen to find out whats wrong?? He may have a health issue or something really bothering him.If you can both communicate , it will help to solve issues. Spice up the romance and stay positive. Sometimes marriage counciling really helps....

I think this is always a problem with the men , they always get fed up with womens. They like to dominate . I always deal things like this the same way as he treats .If u stop worring about them then they would feel our importance. If that doesnt work then u have to make him like u by doing some romantic things and one important thing is that u should not show that u r doing this on purpose. Just do it as a cascual one. Then i think it would work. Best of luck . I think the second one will definitly work . Tell me the results .

i don't think your husband hates you. He isn't treating you well, though, and you need to talk to him about it. Tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him you think he hates you. Stop following all his orders. You are not his slave, you are his wife. Remind him of that. Sit him down and have a heart-felt, honest conversation with him. If he doesn't consider your feelings at all, you need to choose if this is something you want to put up with or not. i hpw things wok out for you. Good luck.

Your husband doesn't hate you or frankly I don't think he would be with you. He is coming home from work angry and grumpy. Maybe he is not getting enough sleep, maybe he is stressed out because of work. He might want to look for a different job if this one is making him so unhappy. But he has no right to be taking everything out on you. Have you tried to sit down and talk to him and tell him that his is always grumpy with you when he comes home from work and that it really bothers you because you love him and don't like him being so grumpy with you all of the time? Maybe he doesn't truly realize that he is being this way with you? But either way you do not have to take his grumpiness. If he is grumpy you should tell him to stop being grumpy and then go do something that you want to do.

Wow, that doesnt sound like a good situation at all. Is it always like that, or does he chill out sometimes? It seems like pretty controlling behavior. If you don't have anywhere to go, maybe go to a shelter for awhile to think about things. I know that isn't a fun opition, but I really think you need time apart from him. I think if you get away for awhile, you will realize it isn't worth it to stay and be treated like that. You deserve better!!!

ya ..this kind of problem is too common and that need only the supports of the situation . life is full of difficulties and also full of the enjoy and happy...its a not a matter that if there is unhappiness or the undesirable situation ...then u may get distorted himself and put down all the feeling of our life..never and never. u also see that with these there must be a light in between the darkness and u should use it and get the way where you have to go and find the way of the enjoy and success.you have to use the positive situation not go for the unwanted one where you can only get the gloom and loose your precious time following this.never do that ..only concentrate on the theme of the life i.e enjoy the real beauty of the life anyhow..that is the real sense of sustaining your life.now ,come to the point of your problem.since this is not a big issue of your relationship at this stage .there may be lots of problem that are not discussable to you that why he is sufferrinf this is one of the reason .first you see the daily behavior of your husband and note it down each and every movement.if he is so worried about any work or have a tension ..wish not ..then find all the problems of your husband very sweetly and clearly without any disturbing him. think about it and find the real solution of these problems.if you are able to find it...then it is very nice because doing these the husband get attention towards you and without loosing the patience whenever he talk to u..not doing this time and hense you getthe benefits.this is one of the bussiness problem solution .another method is that by the feeling of your own love and attitude because this will permitts the feeling of the touchness and feeling of emotion from you to him..this will give the cool nature for doing further kind of the work. so dear take it easy ..and think once befor doing anything regarding your husband's happiness. thanks

it simple when they treat you like that give them a dose of their own medicine stop being a submissive wife and be just as dominating as he is ( thats how me and my husband get along so well) we tell each other every day if you were submissive i would have been walked all over you and by the way i am a stay at home mom...and if he says you can leave then this is what you do LEAVE!, call his bluff, he only says that because he thinks you wont, if you have no where to go, go get yourslef a hotel or take a little 2-3 day vacation and come back looking all nice in new clothes, hair , makeup and let him know you don't need him to have a good time let him know you are independent

can you live alone by yourself, without him? if you can, leave him. Later if he wants to have you back and you want to be back with him, you can make him talk to you and listen to you about his problem if he wants this relationship works.

I know what you mean. My hubby will be at work and I will be missing him but once he comes home he is such an a$$ and has this huge attitude about the smallest possible thing that isn't even work related. I think he just likes to yell. I don't like it all but I don't think there's much you can do. Is it that bad that you would leave him for it? I gues you have to ask your self that question.

Has he always been like this? I would guess he is angry about something and taking it out on you. If you have put up with this for a while, I think it is time to leave. If you have tried to talk to him and get him to open up to you, then at least you attempted to find out what his problem is. Unless he is willing to take a long hard look at his actions and attitudes, he will likely continue to behave irrationally. I would guess that there is something about himself he doesn't like and this leads him to dislike other parts of his life. And since he has no where to express his anger, you are going to be the target.

It sounds problematic to me. I don't know if I'd say he hates you, but I think it's something you two definitely need to work out. I would be really straightforward with him. Sit down and tell him, "If you love me, you will stop treating me this way. It hurts me because I love you, and I will not put up with it. Either change, or we're geting a divorce." Yes, it seems extreme, but if he loves you it will shock him into realizing that you don't deserve that, and if he wants to be with you, he has to change! Nobody deserves that in a marriage. Marriages are supposed to be happy.

hi i think naturebug gave you some really good advise and i am sure you will have a clear picture in your head now. Its always nice to share and see what others think that way it clears up so many things in our own mind. Like naturebug said we can only give you advise and pray things work out well for you but you are the one who is going through it. watever decisions you make please fall in love with yourself first b'cos if you loved yourself truly you would not have lived with him for 9 years. Only if we love ourselves truly we can love another person. Just take courage pray and take the right decision...all the best :)and ofcourse i will pray for you

i guess after 9 years you already know what the mood swings are..but if he's doing things like that to you without you knowing it..theres something wrong with it already and you need to talk about it..

How unimaginable to me!That's your husband and you lived with him 9 yrs. His behavoir must be problemtic. I think you should have a formal talk with him and try to find out the problem. This problem must be solve,or your wedlock can't have happiness and yourself will so affliction. you may have a try to know more about his condition via his friends and colleagues.By this way you may find out where the problem is.