why do i bother talking

He may be doing this because it get to you. when he shows up like this just put your daughter to bed as if he is not there. Tell him thank you for coming but we are going to bed now. The time is not too bad as long as he leaves at seven thirty. Just remember to not show him that you are upset. I also would have no problems changing his times around on him. Maybe just not be there when he is supposed to visit and say that you forgot. A few of his days getting messed up may make him think.

I think if it were me, i would tell him to write himself a note so he can "remember" it sounds to me like he just does not cae about what yu have to say. I would make it so my word was the law, if he came on a night that you said no to then he would not get to see the child, maybe after a while of this he "memory" would set in and he could remember to do what was agreed on.

That would drive me crazy also having to tell him the same thing over and over. I think he intentionally forgets what you have said. Alot of men never listen to anything anyone says. Sometimes they will listen to another man but they tend to never hear a word a woman says. That is why men and women argue alot. Alot of men could care less what a woman says even though it is very important that they do listen to some of it.

I'm wondering whether he is doing this just to tick you off. I mean how many times do you have to tell him and all he says is "I forgot". I would be so annoyed too!

I don't know how old your child is but it sounds like you have along way to go. I know it seems bad now but remember no matter what he is the childs father. I am lucky becouse my childrens father lives in the house with us.

Perhaps he really missed the child? Or perhaps he is busy on the agreed day and thought maybe he could take a chance? Whichever the case, maybe you can arrange a fixed day for him so that there is no excuse he can forget. If he misses that day, that's it, no replacement. It may sound a bit harsh, but I feel it should reduce a lot of tension and stress if a common agreement is made. Just my opinion.

maybe he's just trying to find excuse for being there and evidently he can't find any.. but i really think he wants to be with your kid you know he's the father and maybe mothers do know more about taking care of kids but it doesn't mean that their love is greater than the other. maybe you could just somehow give him a few minutes everyday.. just make it a bit ok for both your scheds and for your kids he's still the father right?

OH,this would drive me NUTS!If it was my ex,I'd have to tell him too bad.....it's not your fault he 'forgot' and I'd be telling him to come back tomorrow night.....maybe next time he'll remember when he's suppose to show up.....good luck in the future

Sounds like he is playing a game with you. Don't allow it. Tell him the next time he shows up unannounced that you have plans and he will have to come back at the date/time you had already arranged. Everytime you allow it - he will continue this game and even enjoy the fact that it is bothersome to you!

I really think you are being way too easy on this guy and he's taking advantage of you. He has no respect for you and it will only continue to get worse if you don't stand up to him. I know you said you can't be mean to him no matter how much you can't stand him but you have got to do something. You two are no longer together, he does not have full custody of your daughter yet you are allowing him to run your life still. I really don't mean to sound harsh, it's just that I was in your shoes not all that long ago. I "played nice" so as not to cause trouble and in the end all it did was leave me with no child support (for good), a daughter with no relationship at all with him, and a strong fear of going to certain places because he still lives in the area and he's the last person I would want to run into while out alone. It got so bad that he even thought he had a say in my relationships. One of the final straws was when he insisted that I leave my s/o and get back with him (after 10 years apart) or lose my daughter just because HE doesn't like my s/o...my s/o that had been helping raise her since she was 5, paid for all her needs and provided more for her than her "father" ever had...but they'd had a "spat" over bowling of all things so he didn't like my s/o any more. Obviously I refused and told him where to go and guess what? He followed through on his threat. I'm not saying that to make you think your ex would do the same thing right now if you stood up to him, I just mean if you let it continue for years like I did he'll get so used to running your life that he may pull out the serious consequences when you do finally have enough of his nonsense.

You will eventually get tired of trying with him and just give up. It doesn't do any good to try with them being so dumb =) If it was me I wouldn't answer the door, if he doesn't remember I won't be inconvenienced because of it!

It could be a passive aggressive behavior or he could honestly have some problems with his memory. Some people just honestly can't remember things that well. But it sounds like he could be doing this on purpose.

You have reason to be annoyed. It seems to me he is just doing it to try to get a reaction from you. But, keep the peace for your daughter.