i hate my husband...and not too fond of life in general!!

Its a good thing your doing by letting all this out and being open to hear what people have to say about this aspect of your life. I think all people have to hit rock bottom in life but like I answered before on this similiar topic, when you feel like theres no way out..you have to look around and realize when your at the bottm the only way to get out is TO CLIMB UP! This is all happening for a reason and God must have something better planned for you in life, you just dont know what is it now but you will soon find out. Always keep striving for the brighter days not only for you but for those beautiful children of yours. This is just a minor setback in life things will get better you have to just believe that because if you dont no one else will.

Contact your mortgage company and the credit card companies..see if you can work something out with them so that your payments maybe smaller or your arrears can be spread out more to relieve some of the stress. It sounds like hubby is being immature. I assume he is back at work, can either of you pick up some OT until this crisis is over, or keep doing it and get rid of the credit cards. If you are using credit cards for everyday necessities, then you are living beyond your means. I know it is difficult, bills go up faster then salaries. Sit down with hubby, to formulate a game plan to make things better, forget finger pointing. Wish I could help more.

I understand that one. We were there for a few years. We are just now pulling ourselfs out of debt. MY best advice to you is take a step back and breath. It will get better. Cut them credit cards up, and keep only one for emergencys. I have one that I keep for just incase. LIke if hubbys check isnt enough I can buy food etc for the kids. Talk to him and tell him how your feeling. Point out what you spend and what he spends.When I had to show my husband our debt was ALL him, I had to have it on paper and show him. I printed bank statements, credit card statemnts and had it all on paper where he had no choice but to look. He then relized it was him, not me, not the kids. hope that helps

Well now that you have hit the bottom all you can do is go up. Knock hubby a good one in the head then take away that card. Next call your credit card company and tell them to pay the overdraft fee on your checking account if they took the money out before they were suppose to and did not notify you by snail mail that they would be doing this. Call your morgage company they will work with you. Do not keep any money in your account until you get your overdraft fees paid up. Start taking care of your bills the old fashion way until you can get caught up. Make him sell that bike too. No the wreck was not his fault but him spending money wrecklessly is. Though he might not like it, it's time for him to grow up

Well I don't know what I have to say, but you have to keep fight for your children. I can't suggest anything yet, but I hope you can solve your problem. All I can do right now is only response to this discussion. Good luck ^_^

i have hit rock bottom and i have fought with my hubby and yes it has been put on me when i try and i always put myself last i think guys do not know how to do that as for getting out of the hole nope it feels like it takes a life time we plain to go bankrupt but we have gotten assistance threw the hard times you should look into that it would take some stress off of you

well, i'm so sorry to hear about the situation that you have now... the only thing to get out from the situation is to ask your husband to work harder and earn more money and cut down on unnecessary expenses as much as you can... i really feel for you as i know how it feels not to have money just to pay for the basic things... i will pray for you and hopefully things will get better for you... please don't give up as God really loves you a lot and He knows what you are experiencing now... be strong... pray to Him and ask for His help and guidance... good luck and a big hug for you...

I am pretty close to there right now. I am always overdrawn at the bank. Sometimes it's my fault sometimes it's not but I still always get blamed for it. My husband used to smoke pot so thats where all our money went, even if we had no food. He has quit now for about 3 months so that's good. I am sick of being blamed for everything. He didnt have a job for a few months but the fact that we have no money is my fault. I can't even pay bills cause he freaks out. I dont know what to do either. We are already on food stamps. I am in a debt consolidation program too.

First find a really thick pillow and put it to your face and scream as loud as you can. Do this as many times it takes, until all the stress has left the body. Then call all the places especially the credit card company and see why they charged you before it was due, unless your over due and they can legally do that. We had that happen and it stinks. Call everyone you owe money to and explain the situation to. Maybe you also have to sit your husband down and give him a good talking. Maybe losing you and his kids might be the wake up you need. Also if the screaming in the pillow doesn't work, try listening to music really loud and basically acting a fool with your kids. That helps as well. If you both keep your receipts, gather all of his up and put them on the table with a total of his debt. Good Luck, Keep your head up things will get better, you just have to have faith. Seriously, talk with your husband on how your feeling and that your thinking of leaving him ( he doesn't know your not serious though about it, it's more of a wake up call threat. Keep us updated.

Well I don't even know what to say with all your troubles, except to keep your head up.. you still have each other. I guess when things like this happen. Everything that seemed so simple, becomes so overwhelming. I cna however give you maybe some earning sites which are totally free. Agloco is a company that has been around for sometime and they will be launching their viewbar soon, hopefully sooner than possible here's the video link http://www.johnchow.com/15000-agloco-sign-ups/ Marketingpond.com just recently aquired mylot.com and is a completely free money making program, in fact there are several member floating around on mylot including the owner of marketingpond.com My referral link to both of these websites are http://www.agloco.com/r/BBCZ9633 http://www.marketingpond.com/ref.cgi/1279

I'm real sorry that you have so much to deal with. Years ago-in the early '90s, during my first marriage-my husband was a lout in paying the bills. We had cable, water and electric shut off on the same day. He sure could buy his antique radios though. Thank god he had the impetus to leave me. Sometimes a divorce is a good thing.

oh yes! talk to your banking institution and explain the situation. They may decide to give you a one time waiver of the bounced check fees. They are people too and do sometimes have a heart for the human predicament we sometimes get ourselves in. Do the same with the creditors. and ask them for some repayment plan. They may reduce your total or your interest rate providing you do not use the credit card anymore during that duration.

(((hug))) Deep breath. shew. you are really overwhelmed right now! First of all, the accident was only a few months ago - how about the toys r us truck - that insurance should be not only paying car damage and medical bills but also pain and suffering and loss of work. Did your insurance company get you a lawyer to make sure you are being fairly and well compensated for all the above? If it has not yet been done, do it! add to this also the marital stress that your husband's hiatus from work has put on you and consequently your whole family. We've been in terrible financial problems ourselves... young military with the base being realigned having to move and rent a home in the new place while still trying to make the house payments in the previous place - my husband had to work two jobs when we lived in that previous place in order to make the mortgage payment as it was. That was 12 years ago and we are still trying to pay off that debt that we incurred during those times. My husband used to take care of the bills and handling the money...but we were not making any headway and it was causing a lot of strain on our marriage... so we agreed that I would take over as he already had so much on his mind. So, now he gets an allowance for his needs and I pay all the bills out of the checking account. It is good to pay all the extra you have towards bills tackling the highest interest rate credit card first. When that one gets paid off - accumulate what you were paying to that one along with the normal payment you make on the next highest interest rate bill. and so on and so on. pretty soon you will make some headway. Best Wishes for you.

Hi there...been there done that. Look, my husband is a disabled vet. He wants more than anything to work. Tell your husband to look into DVR. That is the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. Most states have one. (I don't know about Canada and the rest of the World) He will have to go thru some testing but they can often help with situations like yours where someone has become unable to work and needs to find suitable employment. If he was in the military ever have him contact the Department of Veteran's affairs and see if they can help. Most of the time they will only deal with service connected disabilities but they might have phone numbers. For you...take a deep breath..count to 10. The fights happen because you are both stuck. You can't afford to go out...etc. It happens. My husband and I have a good row about every six months now. We get mad, we say hurtful things..and two hours later we kiss and make up. Sometimes we storm out of the house (one of us does) and take a walk til we calm down. Start with yourself. Every day, take a little time for yourself. Wether it's just for a walk (I recommend this because you need to wear off some of that hostile energy and a power walk will do that.) Also being out in the sun in general tends to rejuvenate us because we are often lacking in vitamin D which is one thing that the sun helps us process. Make sure you are eating right, etc. Hubby might be frustrating...but perhaps he feels as guilty as sin for blaming you but again...he is as stuck as you are. Rock bottom is tough. My family (2 small children hubby and dog) lived in a tent for a month. It's not fun camping when you have no choice. We are renting a place now, but really...it was very hard to cook a decent dinner out of food shelf offerings. At one point we didn't even have a can opener. The credit cards..while they come in handy I bet if you reduce to one credit card and in both your names..things will get a little better. Have you talked to anyone about financial help? If he is on disability perhaps there is someone in the organization that he gets disability from who has recommendations. For yourself...just venting here once a week might do it. Get a blog space and make it private if you like...write down your worst feelings and keep track of when you have them. Perhaps there are triggers..perhaps its all just stress. You need to shut the bathroom door and soak in a hot tub for a couple of hours...forget the world..and just feel. Cry if you want to...find someone that makes you laugh...and LAUGH. Find the humor in everything (even if it seems wrong..sometimes under teh worst stress hubby and I get the giggles completely sober and try really hard to keep them). You got hit by a Toys R Us Truck. Think about the giraffe in a wheel chair...grinz...or think about the giraffe driving the truck..and losing his cushy gig! Think evil thoughts. :) But, don't give up. Disability is something that is very difficult to get used to. My husband has a condition that has him in pain constantly. It started out as a back ache. Now some days he can hardly get out of bed, and he has Chronic Fatigue so he can't sleep thru the pain. Listen, I know it's tough but do you really hate your husband and your life? Also, if you need people to talk to, try to find a support group if you live in a larger town there might be one that is geared toward people in your situation. There are plenty of ways to get out of the doldrums. Money is not everything. It is the catalyst to many problems though. How about writing him a letter? Even if you don't give it to him...it might help you put things in perspective. He doesn't want to give up on his dreams any more than you do is my guess. Anyway..some of the things above might help. If you live in the states please check out the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. If he can no longer do the work he used to, they can help with him finding or getting trained in something new.

I've always heard that when you hit rock bottom you will know it. The question you have to ask yourself is: Is it worth keeping all this going? Is giving up your life and happiness worth it for your man? If you want to keep on as is, then do nothing, it'll only get worse. I would say to keep your man but seek out help as soon as possable!

I know just how you feel. Been through that a few times.....hee,hee......but have come out somehow with 'scratches' that show even to this day. But I know excatly what can put things right-money! Just enough money to tide you over till you and your husband make a real effort to pull out of this fix and also learn to 'make' money - honestly, ofcourse. I would love to help, gladly, except that Indian currency in worth not much at all when you comapre it to the US dollar ( about 45-50 bills in Indian ). If it's any help, I can lend $500 , which would be about Rs. 25, 000 - repayable whenever you can afford to.

This has to be an awful time and place for you right now. I would imagine that right now fear is driving both you and your husband, and you both have different ways of dealing with it, it appears he is trying to gain some control by buying stuff for his bike and you are taking every look phone call and bad things that happen personally, as you said it wasn't your fault . I think if you can sit down with your hubby and discuss what are we going to do until things get turned around, and both of you make plans work out ways to make things better between you and him, because it is taking all your energy by being angry at things that you have no control over, so work with the things you can control. talk to the mortgage company, the credit card company's let them know what is going on, if you only pay the interest they will allow you a bit of grace. If you keep every one in the loop there is less chance of flare ups and problems. Working together is so much better than you both trying to do things you own ways, and it just causes friction, Yes this is a tough time but you can and will over come, all it takes is hard work and to struggle a bit longer but if you share the load it will be easier. Please take care of your self and have a deep breath.

I have hit the bottom and went under and some days it feels like I am still slipping under again. Things can be very difficult when you know you are not wasting and your spouse is, and bills are not being paid. We just had the water turned back on today, it was off for a week due to non payment. We may loose the power soon, it has happened a lot, and right now groceries are in very short supply. And if I look around in here things are depressing for a reason. Plus I have some health problems I would not have if I had of had monor problems taken care of before they became big ones. Anyway, I said all that so you can know I really do understand, and my dh has bounsed and overdrawn the bank accounts a lot. It is nerve racking to even answer the phone because I don't know what to tell a bill collector, if I say he will pay it he does not, or it is a long time. So what I have taken to doing is just trying to do what I can to not worry about what I can not fix, (this is harder than it sounds) And I have been trying to earn money so I can pay off the bills, I have a web page started on freewebs.com that I plan to sell items I make, then I have been writing for associate content, and I started writing or posting here, and so far I have been paid twelve dollars from here, and a little over two hundred from associate content, I know this is not really a lot, but it is more than I was making as before I was making nothing. So this has been encouraging to me, I have also found that I can go to school online and I have been working on a degree so maybe I can get a job eventually. Or have my own home business. I am working towards making things better as I can, it will not happen overnight, but eventually I expect things to be better. And I am doing all I can to cut down expenses, as for fighting about the bills and finances it does not help and can make matters worse. Just do the best you can okay, sometimes life is just hard. But things can get better.

Bless your heart! I'm so sorry that you are going through such a hard time. I'm sure your husband loves you, there is just something about men that they don't understand things sometimes. A few weeks ago my husband blew up at me after we got home from church one Wednesday night and I looked at him as if to say "What planet did you come from?" The worst part of it was my mother was staying the night with us because the weather was bad and she heard us feuding. I was about ready to pinch his head off! Before the night was over he was starting to get in a better humor and the next morning he felt some better. Sometimes men get in their own world and don't think of anything else. I pray for you dear friend that tomorrow will be a better day. We have gone through some times like you are going through and I know it isn't a fun boat to ride in. I hope that tomorrow things will look much better and brighter for you and your family. SheliaLee

Oh, im sorry to hear about your husband! I don't really know what to say because I have never been in that situation. Just pray to God that you will overcome all those things. I believe that you will get over it one day. Those are just trials in your life so don't be upset much...