Do you demand or (would like) an explanation when someone does something?
@joey_matthews (8354)
May 21, 2007 8:35pm CST
I'm just wondering here, what pushes us to demand something. So I'll ask this question "Do you demand or (would like) an explanation when someone does something which is hurtful or just nasty?
Scenario; Say someone within your live who's meant to be supportive towards you, totally goes to war and you find yourself dodging and weaving your way out of bombs they send towards your direction. They keep pushing at you and this is out the blue, your wondering when this person or persons stopped caring. Would you demand an explanation or would you just not care, hoping that one day you'll find out why?
~Joey's response....
I personally Hate demanding things, but I can't say that I wouldn't push finding out why someone would turn like in my Scenario. (above)
Knowing where I stand, what I've done wrong is important but not always necessary. For myself I guess I'd dodge the question and accept that they've just got an issue I can't sort out. (There's more to life for me to allow someone to try and distory everything you stand for)
What would you do......?
~Joey
(I'm guessing now there would be a mix, maybe more would focus on getting on with things.. It would be interesting to hear opinions and views) all appreciated, so thanks...
7 people like this
16 responses
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
22 May 07
I would definetly want to find out why they are being that way and see what we can do to make that go away fast.
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
22 May 07
Hey Lydia1901;
Thanks for input, I would hope bridges wasn't burnt as well but sometimes those involved are to stubborn. Your response was greatly appreciated so thank you =)
~Joey
1 person likes this
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
22 May 07
No problem, I'm glad I could help somehow.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
22 May 07
I don't know if I would demand, but I would certainly ask them why they are treating me like that, I would ask them did I do anything to offend them
2 people like this
@ItTakesAllSorts (4096)
•
22 May 07
I am someone who has to find out what I have done to make someone feel like this towards me.
An example, I was a work one day and asked a woman a question which I thought was inoffensive, however, I noticed she was ignoring me and being very childish.
I went up to her and asked if I had done something wrong. Well she bombarded me by telling me I didn't listen to anyone. I was too opinionated etc and this was the same woman I had helped when she needed advise and was too scared to confront her boss herself.
I must admit I stayed very calm and explained my side of the story. In the end we hugged and the air has been clear ever since. I am glad I went and spoke to her, otherwise I believe she still wouldn't be speaking to me now.
I absolutely hate unresolved issues so I will take the first step to make a move and ask why. Then at least I know where I stand. If they still have a problem afterwards I then have to just accept it and move on in life.
I am also the first one to go up and apologise if I feel I have offended someone as well as I know sometimes my heart rules my head and i blurt things out before thinking about it.
1 person likes this
@marty3888 (2355)
• Acme, Michigan
23 May 07
I must admit, not me. I usually just take it. Don't ask me why, I don't know. I guess I just hate confrontation.
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
22 May 07
On a personal level, it depends on the person I'm dealing with. I have one bad experience before but she didn't turned nasty nor hurled insult on me. She did things that was unspeakable. I didn't demand but asked gently for some explanation. Afterwards, I cut off our friendships and simply move on with my life.
The virtual world is a different thing. You only know them through their avatar. If someone stopped talking with me, I will leave them alone. I gave all my kindness and support already. If they can't be bothered, why reinforce myself to them.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
22 May 07
Hi Joey, I am not sure if I understand your scenario. But I normally won't demand. I am too much of a ego freak lol. If you yell and throw things at me for no reasons I can think of, I am gonna make some bombs and bury them when you stand. That's me. :P
@linzmcwilliams (1552)
•
22 May 07
I don't think i would "demand" an explanation but i would ask nicely what i had done wrong if they were important to me. If it was just someone i knew i don't think i would be too bothered, especially if i didn't really like them. I think it's important to be confident enough in yourself to not have to question your own actions all the time.
@mjsdls (1840)
• United States
23 May 07
I'm not pushy to much, but I would make an effort to find out what is going on. I guess I have been known in the past to bug someone until I got an answer, but I'm not so much like that now. I just find mtself praying about it before running my mounth. I need to know what way to handle this.
@SKLC_PT (1234)
•
23 May 07
Well my dad almost killed me once, I never really demanded a why, as I don't even think there is one, I think I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and he was in a real bad mood ): I still live with my dad but I practically spend my days avoiding him. Some days I don't even see him, it's quite funny though as I'm mostly at home everyday and so is he. I usually like knowing why people start to act all stupid with me but in that case I preferred to just back off and not know anything!
@liranlgo (5752)
• Israel
24 May 07
No. i don't. Once i used to be like that.
But at some stage i understood why the person is doing that, and i did not think that i want to waste any energy on demending answers for a doing that involves a person's personalitty.
I either agree or disagree, and i will tell the person exactly what i think, but i would not demend an explanation from him or her.
@dyenitals (43)
• Philippines
22 May 07
for me, i would want some explanation so that i would also know if i really did something wrong for me to apologize.. i also don't want to apologize for something that i'm not aware about.. and also for me not to do it again next time...
@vpsec_ail (86)
•
22 May 07
For me, demanding for an explanation is really necessary when its a major mistake they caused me but if it is something that you can tolerate, I will give that person maybe time before we ca talk about it.
@RunningAway (3)
• Canada
23 May 07
yeah i do. tho it won't change how i think about them, i want to give them the benefit of the doubt. and it would be easier for me to for give them.
@feliniti (875)
•
22 May 07
Hi Joey. Yes I am sure that if that scenario happened which you described, then I would have to ask for an explanation. I like to understand what is going on. I can find myself being very frustrated if things happen which are out of my control, which affect me directly which I don't understand. I don't like being pushy either, but I think I would deserve an explanation in that scenario. Maybe I could help that person in any case. Perhaps it is a cry for help or attention. Either way I don't think I could just leave it without asking some searching questions.
@sabwinner (499)
• China
22 May 07
Hi, Joey, maybe I am not brave enough or I just fear to know the truth. When I found someone does hurtful or nasty things, I don't ask for any explanation. I just got hurt and went away. Probably never talk to him or her again.
