Is it a waste of money to celebrate your 21st birthday?
By whyaskq
@whyaskq (7523)
Singapore
May 22, 2007 6:07am CST
Geofrey was both sad and disappointed. He could not get over the fact that his daughter has spent thousand over dollars for her 21st birthday. He had wanted to celebrate the 21st birthday for his daughter, but he did not imagine that the bill will come to that much. It was almost his one month's pay. He find it as waste of his hard-earned money.
She had booked a chalet and invited her relatives and friends to the birthday party. In Singapore, the 21st birthday marks the age of becoming independent (Or was it the age to be free from independence) though in some countries, it was 18.
I suggested that perhaps his daughter has meant to return him the money later. He said she has no savings even though she has started working. He still has to give her 10 dollars pocket money every day. I could not help feeling shocked. What a doting father and what a "sensible" daughter!
Friends, do you splurge on your 21st birthday or any of your birthdays? Who pays for the birthday expenses?
If you are a parent with children reaching the age of independence, will you pay for your child's birthday bash to mark his independence? Do you find it a waste of money?
If you have not yet reach the age of independence, do you dream of having a grand celebration?
Kindly share your views. Thank you.
7 people like this
23 responses
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
22 May 07
I think he should just disown the lass and be done with it. If her Dad is not rich, she should be hit by lightning by wantonly wasting his money.
If she is already working and have a job that pays decently, her corpse should be whipped for still taking allowance from her father.
That said, it is alright to mark the 21st birthday with a big celebration. After all, it is a turning point. If your friend has volunteered to pay for the celebration even if it is one month's pay, then the daughter is not at fault.
I had a small party with some friends because my parents suggested. I definitely didn't even come close to a thousand bucks. It's just like a normal get-together - only the occasion is different.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
25 May 07
Then it's the father who needs to be whipped. :P
1 person likes this
@julius57 (10)
• Nigeria
22 May 07
hello,
as a father of a house you have some various responsibility to take care of,and also your child is amoung one of your responsibility to take care of,and for you to take care of your child you most try to meet to there demand,
your daughter doing a birthday with such an amount of money is quit urge but you don't call that a waste,but what your daughter is suppose to do first is to informed you before making such record,but i steel want you to know something that her birthday is suppose to be her happy day,my own oppinion is that you should do it for her, just to make her happy because that is her day to be happy.
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
22 May 07
Here in the Philippines, 18 is the age for ladies or debutante to be introduce to the society. For the gentlemen, its 21. It is a normal tradition for Filipinos to celebrate this age of independence. It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor. They can celebrate it lavishly or as simple as possible.
I didn't experience how is it to be a debutante. I would love to provide a party for my girls when they reach 18. Everything will depend on my financial status by that time. I still have a decade to save for that event. I don't consider it as a waste of money and my purpose is to see them happy. After all, they will be 18 only once in their life.
2 people like this
@writermom8 (913)
• Philippines
22 May 07
There is such a thing as pushover parenting and I think that is what happened in this story. The father is suffering from a case of loving too much and the daughter, unfortunately took advantage of that. How sad.
I am not a big fan of birthdays in a sense because I have been brought up in a middle-class family with parents who saved for and spent more on mine and my siblings' education. I can't remember any particular birthday that was extraordinary. I have no resentments though because I realize that we were not rich and there are priorities that are more important than showing off to other people.
Yes, it's not bad to celebrate lavishly IF you have the money. But it's time some people realize that simple celebrations can be as special or even more so than those you spent a fortune on. Tsk, I feel bad for Geofrey but he had it coming because after all, he raised his daughter like that -- too dependent, too self-absorbed :(
@aniez0906 (263)
• Indonesia
23 May 07
my 21st birthday on june, 9...next month..but i think i don't need much money to celebrate it..., i just tell to my friends to have dinner with my family on my house, just need not more to $10...and i think that's enough for me...
@priyeshpc (18)
•
23 May 07
Yes i think it is waste money because every birthday let you to be one year older and every birthday is equaly special & i think before the age of 21 year we are have also give same freedom or independence
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
23 May 07
yes definitely it is a waste of money... even though she wants to celebrate her 21st b'day, she doesn't have to spend that much money... she can just have a simple celebrations... what's the point of spending so much money that will go off in just a couple of hours??? the money is better off being used for something else... and the father is too kind to foot the bill for her and still gove her pocket money... that is ridiculous...
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
22 May 07
Well with my Son we went out for a Meal and then later he went out with his Friends with his own Money it was my Daughters 18th the Month before and she did the same yes it is a time to celebrate but within means and sensible
I think that the Daughter is taking advantage there
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
23 May 07
I think it is wonderful to celebrate but to do go outside your means and spend more than you have especially if it is not you who is paying for it. It is disrespectful. It also shows a lack of maturity, and how much do you really love your parents when you would want something so expensive that it would cost them more than a month's salary?
2 people like this
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
22 May 07
That girl is very lucky to have a father that is so doting and so willing to part with so much of his hard earned money for her to celebrate the way she wants. Most parents I know tell their kids "tough luck" on their 21st birthdays. I have a few more years to go before I have to deal with that....my daughter is almost 17. I'm still trying to get up the courage to help her to learn to drive! LOL But I think that on my daughter's 21st b-day, I will spend some money on her, but it certainly won't be even close to a thousand dollars. LOL
2 people like this
@bambibabe6983 (26)
• Canada
22 May 07
OK first let me say that i just turned 21 this weekend. I went out with friends and and spent like $60. Myself, i could not justify spending even $100 of my OWN money on my birthday, let alone someone else's! So yes, i do believe this is crazy!! Her poor father! She needs to get a goos job and pay this back! Perhaps then she will see if it was worth it! And hopefully not be as impulsive again!!!!!!!
@jbelle (912)
• Philippines
23 May 07
For me, base on your story yes i can say that its a waste of money the celebrant should know the value of money nowadays. but it really depends i mean if you intend to give a party it should be planned ahead of time how much will you spend for it and how many persons you want to invite so you can budget.
Like for me when I celebrated my 18th birthday my dad and mom me told me already that we could not have a big celebration since money is not enough. i truly understand it why should I do i dont want to give them burden like they will barrow money just for the sake of celebrating it and for me hello its only a 1 day celebration after that no more, just spend the money wisely since money are hard earn...
2 people like this
@spudsstuff (261)
• New Zealand
23 May 07
You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a great 21st birthday. I had an awesome one (some years ago now). I had it at home. Bought in some food and a lot of alchohol. Everyone had a great time.
@yamahagirl (415)
•
22 May 07
Hi there
ive passed that age now but if i could have celebrated my 21st i would have i was ready to give birth to my first child, its not a waste ot celebrate any age birthday.
2 people like this
@ladyluna (7004)
• United States
22 May 07
Good morning Whyaskq,
I do think that Geofrey's daughter's 21st bash was a bit extreme. I find it irresponsible that the reigns were pulled in before the event grew to such proportions. One should splurge according to their budget, in my opinion.
However, I am big on the birthdays of my loved ones! It is the anniversary of their becoming a part of the human race. So, I tend to treat all birthdays as equally special.
My parents never made a huge fuss for birthdays. A small party, with cake & ice cream, and a few presents. However, they would fuss about mile-markers of achievement, like graduations and weddings. I can see splurging on those types of events. Although I will say that I believe my parents went above and beyond for my high school graduation. My parents justified it by saying that it was within a week of my 18th birthday, and my send-off to college as well. I don't really know how much they spent, but I'm sure it was too much!
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
22 May 07
In my case, the family would all pitch in an equal amount for any other member's "special" birthdays. This is not just the 18th or 21st birthday, it would include all special birthdays, like 40th, 50th, 60th, 65th, 75th, 90th and 100th.
I wouldn't pay for any of my siblings birthdays, the amount that the guy in your story did for his daughter. It's far and away too much. As for still paying her $10 a day pocket money at the age of 21, this is ludicrous, and the daughter should be ashamed of herself for accepting it. Does she not want to ever be independent. What sort of a person is she going to be in later life, when her father is no longer around to support her. I feel her life will be very unhappy, even if she finds a rich husband.
No, Why, I don't agree with that in any way. More fool the father. Brightest Blessings my friend.
@laltu86 (1249)
• India
30 May 07
Hey dont say something like that , atleast not to me who has just done that a few minths back , really on march 22nd i did the thing you just described , so you must be knowing that my answer would be no its not bad to spend money on 21st birthdays..:)
1 person likes this
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
30 May 07
No, I don't really splurge on my birthdays. I just had one and it was very low key and more of a hassle than anything else.
When I have a party for my kids, who are not yet 21, it often costs in the neighborhood of 200 euro. I give them the option of an expenive gift, or a party with a small gift. I think when they reach milestones, if they want to have a big party we can but there is no way I would spend anything like $1000. The money can be spent far more wisely, I think.
@squaretile (3778)
• Singapore
30 May 07
I think someone needs to speak to the girl. Is your friend able to do so? Since it's kind of his niece?
$1000 is ok if the father is some rich businesman, but if it's almost one month's pay for him, then surely that girl should know it and be more sensible?
I'm not sure whether she's the only child. Parents all love to dote on their kids, and I do agree that this 21st bday bash thing has become quite standard. however, it's unlikely that she'll get ang pows to cover the cost, only presents that she's asked for from her friends and relatives.
actually a chalet need not have come up to so much. did she order gourmet food or what? hopefully this young lady comes to her senses and realises what a sacrifice her dad has made for her. Personally, if I had the chance, or the link to her email address, I'd write her a letter and ask her to wake up her idea.
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
1 Jun 07
Thanks squaretile for your concern. IMO, I think it is rare to find another young Singaporean who does not believe in spending lavishly. The girl is the only daughter and is spoilt. She listens to no one. She booked a weekend chalet, cater food from a hotel. That was what I was told. I was not at the party.
@shameh1202 (610)
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Celebrating one's 21st birthday is not a waste of money at all. We should be thankful for each birthday that comes in our lives and we show our gratitude by throwing a birthday party. However, as they say that there is always an exemption to every rule. If you don't have much money to spend for a grand party, better have simple celebration because it is not nice to always aim of what's above our capacity. Anyway, a grand birthday celebration doesn't matter at all, what's important is the celebrant is still alive and of good health.
