Spanking IS ok

There's a big stink going on here in Boston about this and I have my personal feelings after bringing up 3 great kids. I spanked my kids and by "spank" I mean with an open hand on their behinds. Sometimes when their small they get into such a tizzy that it's the only way to get their attention and let them know that your not playing games and mean business. None of my kids are violent or misfit adults and I'm proud of all of them. Even though I spanked them they don't spank their own kids which according to "those who know" they should practically be beating up on them. This is all coming a little late too because of some of the laws that are on the books such as if a child tells a teacher he was spanked that teacher is mandated to get DSS or whatever child protective agency involved. It has to be a tough call for them because there are a lot of parents who take the whole spanking thing way to far and end up abusing children. Parents should feel free to bring up their children in their own traditional ways and spanking is not going to hurt anyone....except the parent who will end up with the red hand as I usually did..lol...

for me, its not really the behavior of my child i'm concerned about. its the way my child would respect me. i don't want my child to fear me because i spank her everytime she does something i don't like. i don't want her to respect me out of fear. i want her to respect me because i'm a good and responsible father who teaches her the difference between right and wrong.

I do not agree with spanking, however that might also have alot to do with how I was raised. Just before I was born, spanking actually became illegal here in sweden and it still is. My parents never spanked any of us kids and we still turned out fine. I belive that there are so many other ways to get your point through, rather than spanking.

My generation saw nothing wrong with spanking a child. With some kids it is all they understand. Government has no right to tell parents how to raise their kids. The parent knows what will work best. Teachers used to take rulers to us when we were young. We are so afraid of being politically correct that are kids are getting out of control. Take back the right to raise your kids. Words don't work with everyone, sometimes you just need to spank. Let the parents do their jobs.

I think each set of parents should decide together on a disipline policy. Wether it be spanking,grounding or time outs. THen they need to support each other in this decision. What we do is a warning first if she doesnt listen to us we send her to her room to sit on her bed for five minutes. If her attitude hasnt changed when she returns to the family there is a good chance that the next step will be her father spanking her. Luckily time-out seems to work great as she gets older. She hates being removed from the family.

Thank you. I was spanked on a occasion and turned out just fine. Its funny hearing experts say that the south is still backwards because we still firmly believe in spanking, but I can tell you from experience the south is one of the few places left where children still say yes mam and no sir.

I think an occasional spanking for good reason is OK. But, I was spanked a lot and for almost any reason. It was mostly done out of anger. And, I still never respected my parents. In fact, it indicated to me that it was OK to hit people when you are angry. It took me a long time to get over that. I'm lucky I was never arrested for hitting anyone, because I could have been. Some parents don't just spank kids to get their attention or to punish them, they go overboard and take out all their anger on their family this way. I think that there have always been problems with kids respecting their parents and I don't think spanking increases or decreases that. My mother says she was rarely ever spanked.

This is a very heated topic. I woudl agree that back in my day, many parents spanked. My mom never did, but my dad did once in a while. Only if we did something really bad. It certainly didn't scar me for life. That said, I never spank my kids. I just don't think it makes any sense. I try to make the punishment fit the crime. I would rather talk to my kids, take away a privilege or sit them in their room for a few minutes (4 minutes is a long time for a 4 year old). Most of my friends and neighbors do the same. The one kid who I know gets spanked is the mosty misbehaved kid on the block. Not sure if there's a connection there, but I think his parents use spanking as their only form of discipline.

There have been so many debates on this topic everywhere you go. I know people say there are "other methods" and "children do not need to be spanked" I might suggest to them that maybe they got lucky and have kids that listen and follow directions. There were children back when I was growing up that didn't get spanked either. They were what other kids called "nerds or geeks" and parents called "well behaved" Every child is different, every person is different. For example: take a family that has 2 children. One child grows up to be a criminal and the other grows up to be a police officer. Let's take for granted they were both raised the exact same way, with the exact same discipline, parents, environment, everything exactly the same. How does this happen then? This happens because each individual is unique. I have 2 boys, The eldest (10) is ADHD and very very smart. The youngest (7)is not ADHD and smart, but not quite as smart as the eldest. Now, the eldest gets in trouble and does not listen, does not stop talking for 5 minutes to try to get his point across, and will break into an emotional fit. My youngest, gets in trouble and walks away like nothing happened. They are two very different kids, in the same house, with the same rules, punishment and discipline. I don't think abuse is right. Not by a long shot. But if a child needs a good whack on the bottom to make him behave, who gave the rest of the world the right to tell me, I, as a parent cannot do that?

IT'S ABOUT TIME!!! My goodness, people are finally seeing the light! Don't get me wrong, I don't get some sick joy out of spanking my kids but I do what needs to be done and woe to the person who tells me I am doing something wrong! My mom used spanking as a form of punishment as did her mom, we are all totally normal. Out of the whole neighborhood, my kids are probably the most normal kids around, respectful to me, other parents and authority figures. Why is this? Because they know that if they step out of line they will get punished. It is true though that you can punish your kids in ways other than spanking, using time-outs or whatever. The key is consistancy, if you don't punish your kids for doing wrong in a consistant manner, they are going to walk all over you and anybody else that gets in their way. I am tired of the media and government telling parents that spanking is wrong and then parents crying because they can't control their kids. This is welcome news that the whole view on spanking is going to be turned around. Perhaps this generation can be salvaged after all?

There is a huge difference between beating a child and discipline in love. I spanked my children when necessary, two of them rarely, the middle child more so, but my oldest and middle child are both grown now and have turned out to be respectable and responsible adults. Too often these days you see children acting out and screaming their heads off in public, while the parent then gives in to the child. If my children would have behaved like that, you would be sure they would have gotten a spanking. However I never ever had a problem like that with my children, they knew better. Spanking is not child abuse when not done in anger.

Brave of you to take on this controversial issue! I agree that parents should be allowed to discipline in their own form to a certain degree. The problem is that it is so hard to figure out wher the line is on "tough love" and abuse. Even spanking can go to far and become abusive. In a perfect word, parents would discipline their children effectively and intervetion from govermental agencies would not be necessary. Unfortunately, abuse does exist. This has cause it to become necessary for people to intervene in eachothers families. Sometimes it happens that people intervene unecessarily. Somtimes children are taken away from their parents when they shouldn't be. I don't think spaking is something that should cause a child to be taken away from their parent, but it seems that people being overly concerned about spanking is a bi-product of the fact that there are many abusers out there and intervention has become a necessary evil. In my personal experience, spanking did NOT work. When my daughter was about 3 years old, she became quite unruly. I resorted to spanking quite a few times hoping that it would help. In our case, it actually made her worse. She's a stubborn person to this day. The spanking made her an angrier child and she just would not back down. I determined that spanking was not working and I stopped. As the years moved on, she has calmed down year by year. She still is a discipline challenge, but overall she's a great kid. She's happy and fun and is well liked. She still has moments where she lacks respect, but this is something I work on with her continually. One last thing that I would like to say... Some people confuse respect with fear. There is a huge difference. When a child behaves out of fear, that is not the same thing as respect. I decided a long time ago that I could stand a little bit of lack of respect rather than have my child fear me.

I personally think that all of this is totally overrated! My siblings and I have been spanked by my parents since we were old enough to understand.. None of us became serial killers or rapists.. We all grew up to be normal adults.. Spanking is not the same as physical abuse! The media has turned it into such a big deal, and kids who are clever enough will use this against their parents so they won't get punished! Everyone wants to be politically correct nowadays! Can you just imagine a politician giving a pro spanking speech for his family campaign run!?? That wouldn't turn out good would it? So basically, I have nothing against spanking as long as parents know where to draw the line..

I agree, I have 2 children and from time to time they tend to take advantage of thinking they can do what ever they want. You can yell all you want and take things away.In the the end the only thing they will understand is you punishing them by spanking they know you mean business and usually think before they do it next time. I hate to spank my kids but every once in a blue moon they need to understand and know who the boss really is.

I spanked my children, and they turned out pretty good if you ask me. They rarely talked back to me, usually did what I told them to do or what was expected of them without much of a hassle. My sister-in-law does NOT spank her children at all and they are so out of control it's unbeleivable! Last weekend we were at a family reunion and all she did was run around yelling at the kids. One good whack on the bottom would have solved half her problems. But if she had been doing it from the start it wouldn't have been so out of hand at this point. She's going to have a very hard time as they get older and realize there is no consequences for their actions.

i dont encourage spanking.Hitting children teaches them to become hitters themselves. Extensive research data is now available to support a direct correlation between corporal punishment in childhood and aggressive or violent behavior in the teenage and adult years. Virtually all of the most dangerous criminals were regularly threatened and punished in childhood. It is nature's plan that children learn attitudes and behaviors through observation and imitation of their parents' actions, for good or ill. Thus it is the responsibility of parents to set an example of empathy and wisdom.

spanking, I think will do no good in a parent child relationship. I think it can only worsen the situation. Well, I am a product of that and I must say that I started to hate my parents for spanking me everyday. yes, everyday and treating me like a child. I ran and leave them to avoid those maltreatments I felt. well, the good side of it? I will try my best to prove them that this child they spank almost anytime of the day then will show the true meaning of life without violence in it. spanking is not really a way to discipline a child. It can be passed on from the present generation to the next generation. even if the child thinks that it is no good, he will still have the guts to do it to his future children as a sign of sweet revenge. "my parents did this to me when I was a child and I will just do it to mine in return. my parents are meant to be my role model so I will do this. When they see I'm spanking my children, they'll stop me from spanking their grandchildren and I will say in front of their face that this is what you've done to me then and no what? you just want me to stop just like that? you think I will..." well, those are only the things I imagine my friend, only plain imagination. I don't know someone who have done this in real life and I wish not to do this in the future. :)

Spanking is child abuse. If you are caught spanking your child, you risk having your children taken away from you. Spanking doesn't teach children to be respectful; it teaches them to be afraid of their parents. Spanking is not discipline. Discipline is all about setting specific guidelines and limitations for your children that are consistent. It is also about giving your children some control over their own lives so that they learn to take responsibility for themselves and learn how to make good choices.

I believe it's okay to spank in the right circumstances. Some kids it works on..some it doesn't. My 7yr old it doesn't work on at all anymore so I don't do it often. But, my four year old really hates the idea and will usually shape up under threat of a spanking. Most of the time though the only reason we spank is for dishonesty. We have a time out chair that they have to sit in as well, and when I have to spank them for dishonesty, they have to come to me..I don't go to them. They also have to tell me what they did to get themselves in that situation and how they will avoid it in the future. (by not lying or whatever.). But, I do believe that for the most part spanking is okay. I was spanked..with various things...from wooden spoons to 1x8 boards. I turned out okay. My parents were all-purpose spankers, as in it worked for pretty much every offense but not every time. We do have offenses like lying that will get them spanked every time. But mostly I use time out. It's a lot of work to spank a child. I am always worn out afterwards. I also think that there are folks that swear they don't spank their kids because they are afraid that child services will be at their door. I don't blame them in some cases..child services over does it a lot of the time. However, I think if you are going to do it then you make it more wrong by denying that you do it. (my mom and dad both deny that they ever used anything to spank us with etc) and us kids don't even care we just like watching the parents squirm when we bring it up LOL. SO, I truly entirely agree with your statement Sunshinecup!

I agree that spanking a child properly and only when needed has not proven to cause any harm to that childs development. If anything it teaches them that there are consequences to their actions, be it good or bad. I am also for time out and just about any type of disipline that doesn't involve causing abusive harm to the child. My method of disipline is plucking fingers, because its proven to be most effective. I mean if you knew your hands would get poped for touching something odds are you wouldn't touch it. Keeps things from getting broken around here :)