It's lonesome here!

Since I was my mother's caregiver I know how demanding that can be and overwhelming too, as it seems one never has time to oneself and can be very draining..there's a saying ..who takes care of the caregiver? My mother refused to any kind of place though, and was quite vocal about it...sometimes I'd be in tears though, since my mom was rather difficult to deal with..She did pass away last summer, and to be honest the months following I was just too plain busy managing things to acknowledge her not being around anymore--the way she was the last year of life it was almos like living alone as she just wasn't "there"anymore mentally--but there are times now when I miss her--Mother's Day was hard for me, and the week before that would've been her 75th birthday ...I think it's right though for you to have that time for yourself though...It must seem strange though, I don't know how long you've had to take care of your husband..Years?? See this as a nice alone time for yourself..do the things you wanted to do and couldn't before...think of it as a mini-vacation for yourself...Just plain goof off if you want to...I think you deserve it! Hey you could spend more time here and try to catch up with me...LOL

OH Susieq, I am so very sorry!! I am praying for you. Gosh, I'm sitting here feeling lonely because my husband is out of town without me. After reading your post, it really put things in perspective. I truly will be praying for you. Spend some time resting up. I will ask the Lord to refresh your spirit for when he gets back home.

Sometimes we have do something we dont like. And you have to rest and keep up your strengh too. Im sure you will miss him and I will keep you both in my prayers. I would imagine its loney without him there but you can always come on here and talk with us. Take care and get some rest.

SusieQ,I had not realized that your husband is ill.I'm so sorry to hear about it.I wish there was something I could do to help.What is his condition?Is there hope that he can be cured.Do you have other family and close friends near?I'm sending a bucket full of big hugs.xoxoxoxoI will remember you and your husband in my prayers. Hugs

Oh honey my heart breakes for you. I am sorry your husband is so ill he needs hospice care, I bet that is hard. I am an disabled RN and have seen lots of very tired family members who do not know what to do when the person they have taken care of is in the hospital. My advise to you is: Take a nice bath, relax eat a nice dinner, play some music or watch TV or read and get to bed early. I understand you will probably wake up a lot because you are not use to sleeping through the night. How about calling a friend or going to a moving. I also do not want you to feel guilty for taking some "ME" time. You need it and I am sure your hubby understand that. I am a computer away if you need to email me. Good luck sugar and try to get some rest. Just not having the responsiblity of having to tend to him will be good for you. You have to prepare for what happens when he cannot ever come home. I am sorry to have to say this. I know it is hard to think about, but you will have to continue on. You have to think about a furture for yourself. I wish non of us had to go through with what you are going throug.

I can completely understand how you feel only not all the way I lost my grandfather last year and I still can't deal with the facts I am still hhurt but I want to wish you all the luck

Well you need to do what you need to do to keep your sanity hon. I am almost at that point. But I'm getting away tomorrow for a couple days rest. The quiet can be changed by you. Just relax and enjoy your time for now. Let God work his ways with you. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~

I'm so sorry to hear that you and your husband are going through this. It's horrible to lose a loved one, especially a spouse or life partner, but Hospice is a wonderful program. I work in a Hospice unit at the Veteran's Hospital, and I find the work to be so satisfying and rewarding. To be able to help a family member such as yourself is a good thing. You need to rest, take care of yourself, and recover a bit so that you can be there for your husband. Don't feel bad about taking advantage of the respite services. It is a fact that care-givers NEED respites, especially for a long illness. That's why they are offered as part of most hospice programs. My prayers will be with you & your husband.

Oh, Hon. I'm so sorry. Knowing you have no reason to feel guilty doesn't make it one bit easier, does it? My grandmother could really use something like that program. My grandpa tires her out, but he doesn't want to go somewhere like that, and she won't make him. She feels too guilty. I don't know if her Medicare would even cover that. I'll pray for you and your husband and I do wish you a lot of peace to get you through this very difficult time.

Oh wow. i have mixed feelings about this. i know my mother would love to get rid of me for a few days like that, but it would spiral me into such a severe depression. i couldn't handle that at all. DO you mind if i ask the nature of your husband's illness?

Having to put someone like that in the care of someone else susieq is sometimes the best thing. It gets very tiresome at times and you just need to take a break from it. Not only is it a physical thing, but it's a very emotional and mental strain. I'm sure you did the right thing. They also have people who will come to your home to help you. I'm sure you know that.

You should not put your husband into the hosprice care center today,though you know what this place will be like when he is truly gone.I think share the happy time with your family member is a good thing.

This problem will soon cease so try to be strong my friend! Take care and more power!

I am very new to this forum and do not know you personally, but I nevertheless share your pain of separation. To be away from someone you love is truly heartbreaking. I am sorry to learn that your husband is so ill. I hope God restores him and grant him healing, and that both you can be back again soon enough. You can be assured that hospices usually take good care of their patients, so your husband will be in good hands while you seek some deserved rest. We cannot help you physically, but as least spiritually and emotionally, we can share your burden and pray for your husband's well-being and health restoration, and yours too. Be thankful too for technology and sites like this, where we can exchange our thoughts and comfort for each others' concerns. Have a good rest. I will commit your husband in prayer.

Susieq it can be a difficult time butr rest asure he is being well taken care of . If you find it too quiet at home put a radio on or better still invite some one over just to share their company with . But remember you need to have a break and get some rest other wise you will be unable to give him the propper care he needs when he returns home . It`s only for a few days they will pass quickly . I can understand how you are feeling and the tears to me it just goes to show how much love you have for your husband . a saying that i remember from my grand father is " loneliness makes the heart grow fonder " and that age has no barriers it still applies weather you are newly weds or been married a lifetime .Your hubby will know you are doing it for his own good and that you love him so much that in putting him in respite care you are thinking of his welfare . I wish you well and that you get plenty of rest the time will pass by quickly .take good care of yourself and god bless you (( HUGS ))

I know that was hard for you to do. But, you do have to take care of yourself, so you can take care of him. You need to relax and rest and get back your strength. He is going to need you and you want to be able to continue taking care of him as long as you. Hospice has that program so that the family can rest and that is what you need to do. When the time comes, you're going to have lots of friends on here to keep you busy. You and your husband are in my prayers.