Is the grass really greener on the other side of the fence?
By misheleen73
@misheleen73 (6037)
United States
May 28, 2007 12:42am CST
We've all heard the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" And we all wonder is it true?
Does the neighbor really have a better life than we do? Does that woman driving the Jaguar really have it better? The family with the picture perfect kids and house. The husband that dotes constantly on his beloved wife. The soccer mom, the football dad, the valedictorian daughter, the track star son, the sister that married a doctor. You get the picture.
DO you really think they all have a better life? Or do you think to yourself, "appearances are not everything?" Maybe the are smiling on the outside, but in turmoil on the inside.
Maybe that woman driving the Jaguar just lost her husband of 50 years. The family with the picture perfect kids and house may be about to declare bankruptcy. The husband that dotes on his wife, maybe because he's cheating and feels guilty. The soccer mom exhausted from all she does. The football dad trying to have a relationship with his estranged son. The valedictorian daughter about to enter drug rehad because she's hooked on speed to help her stay awake to study. The track star son may feel "pushed" into a sport he really doesn't want to do. The sister that married a doctor but lives ina loveless relationship.
So how do you feel about all this? Do you take people at face value, or do you think there may actually be something deeper involved. Do you really think that someone else has it better than you? That their grass is greener?
6 people like this
26 responses
@Rickrocks8 (1751)
• United States
30 May 07
NO way! Their grass is brown because they have dogs! LOL Plus the fact that they are mean and nasty rednecks so that would be a big fat NO!
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
30 May 07
you are too funny for words Rhonda Roo !!! Did you get my message the other day?
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
30 May 07
very profound Grasshopper. I knew it was in you !! LOL I agree 100% material things are not what makes you happy. Sure, you can be excited for a while with your new "stuff" but it doesn't make your life have more quality.
2 people like this
@Rickrocks8 (1751)
• United States
30 May 07
Yes mine are unpainted. Ok are you ready for my serious answer now?
LIfe is what you make of it. You can choose to compair& look what other people have. If I have learned one thing it is that "things" will not make you happy. People are what really matter and what will make you happy in the long run. We bought a brand new house 4 years ago. We had a rainbow playset put up and we also got a water softner. Other than that we have done very little to our house. People on the street have done alot. Trust me I have days where I wish for a bigger deck, and this and that but in the long run it wont change my life people are what change your life. Community church loved ones % friends are my green green grass!
2 people like this
@kgwat70 (13387)
• United States
12 Aug 07
I have heard this term numerous times and found out the grass is not always greener on the other side, especially when it comes to changing jobs for more money. Usually making more money means more stress and more things to worry about. Just because someone has a better paying job or has more money or a bigger house and car, does not always mean they have things better. It sure it would be nice to have or make more money but life can still be just as complicated or even more so if you were not as wealthy.
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
16 Aug 07
exactly, we don't know every detail of someone's life, we can't just go on outward appearances alone !!
1 person likes this
@14missy (3183)
• Australia
31 May 07
I agree with you. Most of us think on the surface that others have it better than us, but what really matters is those we care about. If I have food on the table a house to live in etc and my children,husband and I are happy, what more can we really need? I guarentee every single person out there has something that they would like to change or want more of or better. We should stop thinking about what we haven't got and focus on what we really have!
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
31 May 07
very well said !! I agree with you 100%. If we all spent more time on our own grass instead of envying others, our grass could be lush and green.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
29 May 07
For me, it seems always, yes. the other side is always greener than the side i am living. I have noticed this in every step of my life. I believe i am a biorn loser, whom luck never favours. Whatever effort I make, i am always at loss. Nothing good had happened to me ever. In the same time I am seeing a lot of people having such a nice time without a fraction of effort as mine.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
29 May 07
you need to feel better about yourself. Those people you think are having all the luck, may be hiding something deep inside. They may be miserable, without love or maybe even ill.
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
16 Aug 07
that's why I say we should all be happy with what we have instead of killing ourselves trying to be like others.
1 person likes this
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
30 May 07
No,I don't think that life is always better with the ones that you think it is. The grass could be greener on the other side of the fence, but I guarantee you that the other person has problems the same as you do although they may not be the same.
Think of how many households in which women suffer abuse from their spouses and yet from the outside they look as a normal family. I would never want to be in that situation.
My husband and I don't have the best of everything but we have a decent home and decent cars and we both work, but we still could be considered to be living paycheck to paycheck and people would never know it by looking. We don't have a lot of credit and yet, we try to keep things up to par.
You never know what you have until it is gone is the way that I look at it! Be happy with what you have and strive for what you want, but don't look to someone else for that!
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
30 May 07
wonderful response. I agree with everything you have said. People often think that my husband and I are poor. We live in an aapartment and he drives an old truck (for work) and we both like to wear jeans, etc. We are thinking of buying a house after we get back from a summer trip and went to look at models. You should have seen the lady, all "well we have programs for people that don't have down payments, etc" On the way home I laughed and told my hubby next time we should dress up. We are not rich, but we have enough to buy a home and be very comfortable. Heck our vacation is ending up costing us a little over $15,000
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
31 Aug 07
No I don't as everyone knows really Money is not everything they might have it all but have they got Love or are they just together for the Money
Have the Children got Love or are the Parents so busy traveling and having a high Social Life that in their eyes if they buy them expensive presents the Kids are happy
So no I don't think they are happier they just think they are
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
31 Aug 07
I feel the same way. Unfortunately, my mom & sister are more materialistic and think "things" make happiness. I am lucky and have never been that way.
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
28 May 07
No, the grass is usually not greener on the other side. It's just different. I think people that feel the grass is greener are people who are just not willing to make the changes necessary to their own grass to make it as green as it can get.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
28 May 07
Excellent way to put it!! Thanks :)
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
28 May 07
if you don't seed your lawn properly and add the right amount of water, it can die !!
@sreevasu (2717)
• India
28 May 07
It normally happens when we are more ruled our emotions or feelings than our wisdom or intelligence. We will lose our discretion and act unwisely. One should look in to the other side of the fence only when our side of the fence is dry or there is no hope for making it green again. This is possible only when we attain a control on our emotions and only when we learn to guide ourselves in the right path. Keen observation of our surroundings would be of much help.
One more thing: All that we seen green need not be real green.
Thank you Misheleen for the wonderful topic.
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
28 May 07
And thank you for a wonderful response. It's good to see you around, seems you went missing for awhile. Had people wanting to send out search parties...lol
1 person likes this
@ranjeetkolarkar (1595)
• India
28 May 07
It is a human tendency to think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I too get into this trap a many times.
But then I think, that the person I am thinking to be in a better position than I am might also be thinking the same way of myself. Hence this is a vicious cycle and there can be no end to this.
I do not deny the fact that the grass can really be greener on the other side of the fence. But if we get ourself more entangled ourselves into these issues we are going to make ourselves more and more unhappy....
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
28 May 07
I think that it can also become a "who is better, I have to have what they have" type race. If only we could all just appreciate what we have and be happy !
1 person likes this
@ranjeetkolarkar (1595)
• India
28 May 07
moreover, it might lead us into unhealthy competition amongst ourselves and have a development of a highly undesirable trait... JEALOUSY...
1 person likes this
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
28 May 07
What a great discussion! My mom had this saying, "The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but that's where all the sh!t is". In a way, I think that's true, but that there are varying degrees as to how true it may be. I think when people are out in public, there is a facade that they put on. To the outside world, everything is fine and dandy, but on the inside there is probably some drama that is happening.
I've always thought that people who have big houses or drive fancy cars always had something to prove. I mean, living in a million dollar home or driving a $40,000 car doesn't make you any better than anyone else. And I've always thought it was a way of compensating for another area of their life that may not be so wonderful.
So no, I don't take people at face value because I'm sure that everyone has their own imperfections and insecurities that are lurking just below the surface.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
29 May 07
beautifully said my friend. Everyone does have imperfections, that is what makes human.
@purplehaze (661)
• Philippines
29 May 07
My interpretation about this idiom or saying is that there is always something better out there.For me, it's just a matter of contentment or satisfaction. We should learn how to be content with what we have and not always think about what more could we have because sometimes,being content can bring us more peace and happiness rather than looking for other things that we think could make us happier.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
29 May 07
very true, if you are constantly looking for something bigger and better you can end up losing something that was best for you all along and right in front of your face.
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Hi monkey. I grew up in a poor family. Being young and ignorant on the ways of life, I always thought why was it that my classmates always had nice clothes to wear. They had drivers, nannies and nice cars waiting for them after school. Seeing how my parents needed to struggle everyday while the others were traveling everywhere without any problems at all. I told myself I will persevere and work hard to achieve my classmate's lifestyles.
Most of my personal friends came from wealthy families. But they are also the most humblest and down to earth people. Sure, they have all the luxuries and money but whenever they confided in me about their personal problems, I realized they are also an ordinary people like me. I stopped looking at the other side of the fence for a long time. The status and lifestyle I have today all came from my own blood and sweat. For each one of us, the grass is not really green all the time. There is always a different colors to stain in it.
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
28 May 07
yup indeed bunny.. I am fighting so hard right now to keep my eyes open !!
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
28 May 07
Hiya Bunny.. I agree 100% with what you are saying. You see, I had anything I ever wanted. CLothes coming out of my ears, gold jewelry, literally anything I wanted. BUT I always felt my parents didn't love me. They never spent time with me and they were really not nice to me. (long story) so maybe some people would have taken one look at me and been jealous, but really I was miserable inside.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
22 Aug 07
I know what you mean. You never know what someone else is dealing with in life.
@eyewitness (1575)
• Netherlands
28 May 07
The grass ain't always greener on the other side of the fence.People can pretend their life is better,but you can't look on the inside of those persons.I know people who others would think they have the perfect life.But they don't have the perfect life they too have their flaws they too have their fights.People can have more money than you do but can have a bad relationship in their family and maybe you have less money but have wonderful relationship with your family.You can see with rich people if they are happy or not.When not they try to drew some attention by nasty things to get in the picture.
We can make our own happiness we don't need to look ath others happiness.
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
28 May 07
We need to concentrate in our own lives instead of always competing with people around us. We should
do what is right for us ,since not everyone has the
same priorities in life. Having an expensive car is
nice ,but is does not make us better than others. Success is defined in different ways ,and money and being a super star is not always the definition of success.
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
28 May 07
that's one of the points I was trying to make. Be happy with what you have.
@wernerfigueroa (14)
• United States
28 May 07
this world is based on greed, and the more money you have the greeneer the grass is for you;better life.
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
29 May 07
money doesn't necessarily buy a better life, just more material things
@MJLami (1173)
• United States
28 May 07
I think sometimes yes and sometimes no. They say life is what you make it and I know it's inside what counts, not what it looks like. I've walked away from the worst life anyone should live and only because "appearances" had someone believing I had to suffer being abused, enduring evil and wanting to be controled and manipulated because of my accomplishment. I don't look at what others have, I am only concerned what I earn so no in the sense that you're asking the question I do not believe the grass is greener on the other side. I think what we earn ourselves is what's good rather than being envious of others have.
@shashank1986 (625)
• India
28 May 07
wen i was a child i preferred growing up...now i m grown up n prefer going back to those ignorant childhood days...u c the grass on the other side always seems to beckon humans but when u cross the fence to reach it n turn back to see where u came from u c that the grass back there has turned greener...similarly ur neighbour must have a smile on their faces just to hide down the core complexities of life n my advice is dont get attracted by those artificial smiles..becoz u cant keep crossing fences like a cat whole ur life..
1 person likes this
@MWilliams216 (79)
• United States
28 May 07
I think that we all need to stop thinking about how good other people have it, and focus on what we truly have. I'm so sick of people envying celebrities. Would you rather have a big house, 5 cars, a million dollars in the bank, and live alone. I personally would rather have a nice apartment, my loving husband, and my beautiful son, with enough money to pay bills and have food on the table.
There is more to life than money, fame, and material possessions. When you have the love of your family, and you are all healthy and happy, thats what matters most in life.
1 person likes this
