Just to be with you....
By smints8985
@smints8985 (1594)
United States
May 29, 2007 9:51am CST
Is it worth the risk to be with somebody who broke up with their current partner just to be with you?
Meaning, you have developed a deeper feeling for one another while he/she is still in a relationship. You started to be a third party then later on that person decides to break up with his/her partner for you.
Doesn't that mean that person will be capable of leaaving you for someone else when he/she finds somebody of interest while you are still together?
Since he's done it for you, does it not mean he can do it to you too?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@DesigningLife (903)
• United States
26 Jun 07
To answer your question, "anyone" is "capable" of finding someone else when they are already involved. I think the real question is whether it is a pattern for them to do so?
Personally, I have never known a man (coworker, friend or partner) who did NOT have someone already lined up to take the place of the current one before they split up - though I have been told this is true of some women too, I have not seen it myself.
I may get bashed for this, but it "seems" that men do not leave an unhappy relationship UNTIL they establish another fling to move right into (at least from all the men I have known in different capacities).
I would not trust this person who would leave one just to be with you, as you said, when the newness of conquest and initial sparks wear off, he will probably get bored and seek another...then another, until he is too out of shape or old to compete anymore.
1 person likes this
@smints8985 (1594)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Yes that is what I think too, being interested in another person with the thought of pursuing something deeper than friendship while still in a relationship is absolutely an act that shows cheating. It is evident in some relationships whereas not a month after the break up one is already involved in a new relationship. Could it really happen that fast if not prepared for while in the course of an existing relationship?
@DesigningLife (903)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Thank you for Best Response smints.
I have to say that you seem very wise already for one who appears to still be so young. Good luck to you. :)
@DesigningLife (903)
• United States
26 Jun 07
PS - If he isn't going to leave her UNLESS he can have you right off the bat then you have your answer already.
If he can't live on his own for even 6 months BEFORE you start dating....red flag.
@chemicalh2 (627)
• Philippines
29 May 07
Being the third party isn't a good idea in the first place. But, if the guy is committed and willing to be with you... then go. Its better to love rather than only think that you guys could have been something.
@smints8985 (1594)
• United States
29 May 07
But doesn't it mean he can also exchange you for someone else when you are together?
@chemicalh2 (627)
• Philippines
30 May 07
There is a possibility but if you guys think about the relationship,putting GOD at the center of the relationship,making solid boundaries, giving more and expecting less. Things might work out.
@sreevasu (2717)
• India
30 May 07
Human mind is a little complex in its nature itself. It is unpredictable as to what will happen or what will not happen. To overcome this all what is needed, in any relationship, is understanding. Nothing matters before true understanding. And the best way to attain it is opening up of minds.
@bornraf (228)
• United States
30 May 07
it is all abvout risks/rewars. The higher the risk the higher the reward. Hope it helps
@rangics (1334)
• Philippines
30 May 07
I think that would be unfair. That guy should need to settle things first before he jumps into another relationship. I'd feel guilty honestly If i'd be involved in that situation. I can't take risk. Not unless if their relationship is in a whirlwind romance situation..
@butterfly39 (3904)
• Philippines
26 Jun 07
Yes, feeling changes just pray that it won't happen to you.
@smints8985 (1594)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Yes, I think sometimes it is just worth taking the risk, we really never know how a person could change.
