"Do unto others......"

I think we all like to think that we will be treated as kindly or nicely by others as we are to them...but I think you have realized this isn't always the case...sometimes the very people who are the closest to us are the ones who hurt us the most..sometimes more often than not members of our own family members...I speak from experience believe me...I think the trick here is to find and hook up with positive people --ones that make you feel better even if only for a little while...The relationship between my mother and I was, shall we say turbulent? And yes, she was the one who hurt me the most at times, but I think a lot of it was her own fears for the way she acted toward me...she was one of those people who really wanted to live the poor me, woe begone victim...a real downer ...The thing that was so unbelievable was that I know this woman that lives only down the block from me...the thing that was unbelievable was that she and my mom were the same exact age...but my goodness the difference between personalties was unreal...My mother was totally gloom and doom, while Vi was this lively vivacious person...I would often pop in to visit awhile just because I just needed to be around someone with positive vibes...and thinking back it's a wonder Vi didn't want to strangle me... I mean I would often drop in unannounced...it's a wonder she didn't throw me out at times! LOL But bless her, she knew all the crap I was going through with my mother at the time..I was after all her caregiver, she refused any outside help--so thank goodness Vi sensed that my little drop in visits were my means of having a mini vacation away for awhile. Oh yes,...first rule...you do have to be kind and loving to yourself...not to "impress" others or think that others will be kinder to you...but you do have to be kinder to yourself...and another rule too...I wish I had learned this long time ago....never over extend yourself to win the approval of anyone...there's not one person in the world you need to seek approval save yourself--I know because I used to be a people pleaser--always extending myself doing things for others just to make a person like or approve of me--but often making myself miserable cause I often gave up doing things for myself--this is a throw back to my mom too in many ways.... No I don't think there is a magic formula for perpetual happiness and contentment...if there was and it could be bottled and sold the person who "designed" that formula would be a millionaire!! And there is no such thing as being happy all the time...no one is..we all go through our cycles of good times and bad--there's no such thing as feeling happy all the time...some days we're just down right crappy!!! I think one key is to just live one day at a time--yes, have by all means plans for the future...I do...have those goals...but now is all we have...If you want to know the truth...today for me is one of my real low energy days...I just have been wanting to crawl back to bed and hibernate...LOL..but I did manage to get a few things done...important phone calls that I had to make (this is relation to my SSI Disability fiasco thing I'm going through)--and I did feel good about that...cause I'm not much of a phone person--point being..even on those days you feel like real crud, do at least one thing, just one thing that gives you a sense of accomplishment, or do something that you normally don't do since maybe you've put it off..even if its just to sit down and catch up on some good reading.. My this is getting to be a novel...no? Believe me I know how you feel...have..been..am... there!

I always tried to live by the Golden Rule Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I beleive that was what you were getting at. Me I try to smile all the time well I did but it has been hard since hubby past away but I am getting better at it again!

I was brought up being told to treat others how I wanted to be treated and to turn the other cheedk but as I get older I am finging it harder and harder to go by these rules why should we treat people with respect who never shows us any? Why should we continue to turn the other cheek just to get slapped again or knocked around. I have learned to deviate from these rules, Now it is treat others how they treat me if they don't like it oh well then they should learn to treat others better. And to do unto them as they do unto me not as I would have them to do unto me. It's a hard rough road out there now days and now is not the time to be a floor mat to be walked over. If someone truly loved us would they mistreat us ? Nope they do it becuase we let them get away with it and they know it if we let them know right off the bat hey it ain't gonna happen and you give them hell for it they aren't as likly to do it again and if they do they don't appreciate or care enough about it to stop. You should be kinder and loing to yourself if you don't put yourself first occasionaly others won't either I once was a very loving giving person and let people walk all over me now i don't and it pisses people off but oh well. I got tired of just giving and giving and getting nothing in return or being their floor mat and sounding boards. They might not like that I have finally gottena backbone and I use it but I had to do it becuase I was all gived out and they was draining me dry emotionally. If you find that magic formula let me know.I truly hope you find it.

My formula follows the A.A. way of life. Take one day at a time. There is no tomorrow as it's todat when it arrives. Yesterday is done and gone. So live for today and do not worry about any other days. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~

Hello grinny (LOL, take that as my nickname for you). Look at it this way. You should learn to love yourself first before you love other people. I know this may sound selfish. I read this statement in a self-help book. I realized that we kept loving and caring other people. It became a habitual thing to do that we tend to forget ourself and our perspective in life. How can you channeled your love to other people when we don't know what it is about us that we love. I have long stopped putting too much expectations from other people. For days, I'm starting to master my mind to think of positive things. I will not allow any room for negative thoughts. I tried to look at myself, really look clearly and saw myself for the first time. In case a negative thing is trying to enter my brain, I tried to shake it off and yell something like "think positive," "I'm happy," "I will have a good life." You might consider a 3 minutes of meditation or quiet moment for yourself. Just close your eyes and think of beautiful things, pictures, of birds and babies. I usually do this first thing upon waking up. This helps me to start the day with a brighter feelings. This is what I called the art of positive thinking.

well i have experienced that saying many times... if you do good things unto others, chances are the rewards are great :D

It is not easy a lot of the time believe me and there is times I hide it as there are still Days I wonder how am I going to carry on, how much more can I take but I do I have a lovely Man 2 wonderful Kids a loving and loyal little Dog and my Friends that help me through it But there are still a lot of times I sit and cry Cry for who I used to be, an active, working, energetic Person

'Do unto others' .. yes, it's a good philosophy to have in life .. I think you should respect other folks .. treat them as you'd wish to be treated yourself .. I am one 'of those' who are in constant pain and fatigue daily .. but it's 'normal' to me .. it's just the way I am .. if I woke up feeling fit and well and full of energy I'd probably think there was something seriously wrong with me ... And I have to ask the question .. how do YOU cope with your life day after day .. how do you find the energy to keep going day after day .. you see .. your life is 'normal' to you .. you don't question how you cope every day do you .. and my life is 'normal' to me .. I don't need to worry about how I cope .. it's just the way I am .. Just as you wonder how I cope, I find it strange that 'fit folk' cope with all the rushing around they do .. Every single person on this earth is different .. we all have different capabilities .. yet to ourselves it's all 'normal' .. it's the others who are abnormal ... If you can live your life purposefully (whatever that means to yourself) .. can go to bed each night knowing you haven't knowingly 'hurt' anyone either physically or mentally .. and can make other folks lives 'easier' by not rocking the boat too much .. then I reckon you're doing a good job in life ..

I agree that you have to be kind to your self, or love yourself to get respect and love. If you show that you are satisfied with yourself, then people will find it much harder to hurt/offend you. If someone hurts you and you can shrug it off, they will feel they have failed and won't bother trying it again. If they do it will only annoy them even more. I learned this when I was younger. My elder brother was very good at winding me up, as siblings usually are. I would shout and scream at him to stop it. Then I gradually realised if I looked like I didn't care it would annoy him even more because he wouldn't get the reaction out of me he hoped for. As he got more and more angry, I would laugh and annoy him, and so I had control. I think this works for many situations. If you meet someone who seems very controlling and tries to talk down to you, you must not meet their demands, talk slowly and confidently. Talking slower shows that you are controlling the conversation. Usually they will begin to feel more inadequate and less in control and you will have the upper hand. I have a theory that people who try to be controlling and demanding are often insecure people, trying to hide their insecurities. Like you say, I think it's very important to treat others as you'd like to be treated. Bu if they are rude to you you can't let them upset you.

I am a firm believer in "do unto others" I have even told my bosses, that in the case they ever need to "speak" to me, I do not respond kindly to yelling and screaming or otherwise belittling. I respond to discussion. I have no qualms with correction as long as it's done in the right manner. My philosophy on happiness, is be happy and content with what you have. Don't expect others to make your happiness. You alone are in charge of that. I am not saying that if a loved one did something to hurt me, which happens alot to me, I am not hurt. Yes I do get hurt. BUT I move on, I realize it is their problem and not mine. I will not give anyone the power over me to make me miserable. I can do that all by myself..LOL

I believe in the laws of the universe, one of them being the law of attraction. Whatever energy you send out will surely come back to you. This isn't a magic formula, but simply common sense. If you send out negative energy about anything, including your health, it will come back to you. If you have ever heard of a self fulfilling prophecy, then this is where it comes from. My philosophy is to be truly grateful for what I have and pray in the positive. I treat those as I feel I deserve to be treated and if I don't get the same in return, those are the people I no longer deal with. This works for me, but I have to practice it every day, otherwise I get back whatever I send out.

I share your philosophy of embracing the Golden Rule. Unfortunately, it is true that there are times when our gestures of kindness and goodwill toward others are NOT reciprocated. This seems to be somewhat common with respect to our relationships with our relatives. Relatives can sometimes have strong ideas about how we ought to be living our lives, who we ought to be having relationships with, what kind of jobs we ought to have and on and on. So despite the inevitable conflicts that will arise between us and our relatives (and friends and unkind and mean-spirited people in general), can I offer a magic formula for happiness and contentment? Yes! Make the choice to love yourself and respect yourself based upon your character and nothing else. And then extend that unconditional love and acceptance to everybody and everything you come into contact with (with the exception of course, of truly evil and dangerous people who may threaten you or others). We are programmed from an early age to believe that self worth is based upon accomplishments, accumulations, wealth, physical beauty, prestige, fame, and so on. But nothing could be further from the truth! Are you decent? kind? patient? loving? These are the qualities and ideals that count. This is what brings lasting happiness. I remind myself of this everyday, and that, along with what I have previously mentioned, is my magic formula for happiness.

Hi, MsTickle, yes, I have a philosophy and perhaps you should think about it: Nobody can hurt me, but I myself. Nobody con make me feel unworthy, but I myself. Nobody can fulfill my expectations, but I myself. People that treat us with injustice, people who try to offend us with their words, and as you told it, with their cruelty, they only show a pitiful lack of human substance. Every act against us, is a loss for themselves. Also we can't help when others obviously don't love us because you can't anybody oblige to love you, but you can cultivate love in yourself. Do you think of being kinder to yourself, care more about your own person? Develope your spiritual life, help others without expecting thanks, and you'll stop to depend on what others think about you or would like to make you feel. The only thing that matters is what God thinks about you, and believe me, he thinks highly of those who answer evil with good and are kind to the unkind. What you could possibly gain? Life in peace with God and with yourself.

Yea ?I have one...losers are not those who fail...losers are those who quit....when things dont work out...just pick urself up...brush off the dust and go on to plan B

There are so many people in your situation. I wish there was a formula for happiness but sadly there isn't. I did find that I became happier once I relised that I was a worthwhile person and started to stand up for myself and voice my opinions, even if they weren't liked. I treat others with respect unless they behave in a way that doesn't deserve it, then I ignore them. Sometimes people who say they love us just don't know how to show it and think words are enough.

I do try to treat others the way I want to be treated. I am finding it quite bothersome the way that I have been treated by so many. I do everything in my power to be nice to others and to help others suceed. Why is it that some don't feel this way and go out of their way to make life difficult for others. I am one that is chronically ill. I find that some people are incredibly helpful and will do anything to make things easier for me...I work very hard and push myself as much as I can. But, it never ceases to amaze me at the people who know me...knew me before this stupid illness took over --who think that I am just seeking attention. Go figure.

I also believe in treating others in the way that I would like to be treated, which is with love, kindness, and understanding. But I have also come to embrace the meaning behind the phrase "if mama isn't happy, nobody else will be either". It's like you said...we have to love ourselves first before we can truly love and care for others. So if we are unhappy with ourselves, that is going to show in our actions. But there are those that, no matter how kind we are to them, don't ever appreciate it, nor reciprocate. Those are the ones that you just take with a grain of salt, and concentrate your energies on the true friends.

If there was a quick and easy method to happiness and contentment and it could be bottled then riches would follow!!! That's a difficult philosophy to live by if people don't treat you nicely. And it's a difficult truth to realise that people fall short of the love gene, mainly because it's not a natural, or learned ability. You did hit a nail when you said perhaps being kinder to yourself would help. We tend to get back what we give out so if you are too hard on yourself then guess what's going to happen? My philosphy is to heal myself and the best gift I could give to me would be to love me before anyone else, that way when I do give to someone else it is genuine.

I always try to be nice to others. Sometimes i am too nice, and people take advantage of my generosity. But that is the type of person i am. Sometimes i go out of my way to help people, but they dont seem to want to help you, which hurts. I have some really lovely friends, and they treat me well, which i do them. It really annoys me when people take you for granted or treat you badly, but i am not a nasty person, so i dont take revenge on them. It would be great if there was a magic formula for happiness and contentment, but i dont know if anyone has it. But i would like to know if they do. I will just keep plodding along the way i am. Best wishes to you

My philosophy is the golden rule with amendments I guess. I try to be as nice and accomendating as possible, but if they are determined to hurt me or cause unwanted stress I stay at arms length. I guess it still hold the same thing though. I want them to leave me alone so I leave them alone. LOL! Try to keep in mind that there is a reason for everything and a lessoned to be learned in every situation. And the unspoken "concrete" rule...what goes around comes around! = )