How many of you come from divorced families?

My parents have been married since 1972. I'm not sure why they are still married. I think it's because my dad was married before, and my mom saw what it did to his two kids from that marriage, and she didn't want us to go through it, too. But I honestly think that what she made us go through by staying was far worse, but I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side. My half sisters were jealous that we lived with dad and saw him more often. We were always hoping he wouldn't come home, since he was most likely going to be drunk. The only times he didn't drink, it was because my half sisters were going to be there, and he had to take advantage of every second he could spend with them. It wouldn't have been a big deal, except that he wouldn't do anything for us. My husband and I have discussed it numerous times. His parents are still married, too, even though they've both cheated and lied and everything else. We're not going to do it. Divorce definitely isn't something that we want to do, but we would both rather do that than raise our kids in the kind of home that we each grew up in. We set ground rules before we ever got married. My husband isn't allowed to drink at all around the baby. We talk about stuff before it blows up. If either of us ever even thinks about cheating, we are going to counseling together.

Here is my opinion.... My parents never got divorced, that have been married for 33 years now... Quite a feat by some standards... Having said that I wished time and time again that my parents would divorce. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to come from a broken home and I did't want to have to see dad on weekends, and split up the holidays, etc... The reason I wished they would divorce is because they fought SO bloody much. not physical fighting or anything but the words they would use... So sad to a young teenager to hear. They would call each other all kinds of names, I've seen my mom cry, seen my dad cry, seen them call names, and say such HATEFUL things, mom would often throw dads stuff out in his truck. He would go away for a few hours and come back.... Mom kept telling me things that as a young girl I didn't want to know, such as my father cheated on my mom and this that and the other thing, I think she was trying to poison us kids against dad. He never told us any bad thing about her. When they weren't fighting he was always in trouble for something. It was a horrible life back then.. They stayed together and still occasionally get into big fights but now I just tell them I really don't want to hear it and could they wait until they had some privacy. Honestly though, I don't think either one of them is happy. They both look so miserable even today. Like they are stuck together. I wish I could help them get back to where they were when I was a little kid. When I was 3 and 4 and 6 and 8 years old they were so happy. They worked together, we went on day trips and life was always summer time, through my teenage years it was winter time and now it is almost like their marriage is in autumn, dry and dying... but quietly....

My parents were never married but my dad left when I was born. So it's kinda like divorce, I guess. Well I guess I wouldn't understand what divorce does to a child unless I went through it. I'm just saying to me it's kinda the same principle.

Hi, I really understand on your feelings because I am also from a broken family. They divorced when I was 10. It's really effected my life when they divorced my mom got changed for completely. She turned out to be a very hot tempered person. The worst part was she reflected all the madness to all of my siblings especially me. It's really sad and hurt to be in such situation. But, the most important part is her attitude made me realized how important the love is,how to be a patient person, how important to appreciate the persons that love us, and the importance of tenderness to the kids in order to educate them successfully. Anyway, thanks on God for letting me in such situation and it just made me did learn to be a better person.

So sorry to hear your story. But I feel happy for your little angel, since you and your hubby know the pain of divorce, you will live together till the end and give all the love to her which both of you missed. Gods Love and Light/Samson.

Well my mother and father divorced when I was young. Not quit sure of my age but I think I was younger than 6. I remember the bad divorce and them fighting and the police coming to our house etc. I was glad when they got divorced and no more fighting. To this day my brother and I bite our fingernails out of a nervous feeling. My mother and father never got along, but now they are older and both divorced from their second marriages they do come together on holidays just to see us kids and it is easier. They will never LOVE each other but at least they are civil to each other. The way it has shaped me in life. Neither my brother or sister are married. I doubt they will ever get married. I didn't think I would either, but I did. But I lived with the person for approx. 8 years before we got married. I wanted to be sure we were right for each other. If this marriage doesn't last I will NEVER get married again, but I am bound to have this marriage work. I don't think I will ever have children for two different reasons. I don't ever want them to go through a divorce and also my husband already has two children that are grown now. So it has definately affected me. Hats off to you for keeping your family together.

Interesting question. My parents got a divorce after 30+ years of marriage. My mother told me when my husband and I visited her in the hospital after she had a hysterectomy. I was stunned. I was in my early 20's and it still impacted me a great deal. In our family, we all ate together and got together for holidays at Mom's house. When they split, that all changed. We all seemed separate after that. It seemed as if the bedrock of our family had been torn away. There was never any hatred to deal with...all was civil, but it was never the same. I always thought it interesting that even as a married adult, it impacted me a great deal.

My parents got divorced last year and have been seperated for 6 years. I think it was for the best though as they now get on a lot better than they did when they was together.

My parents are still married but they did at one time get seperated and did fight. My husband's parents are still married too. I think it has actually benefited us both in the long run because we both believe marriage is forever and so before we had met we had that thought already. So when we did start going out and got serious we knew that if we did want to get married it would be forever. We do have a great relationship and don't fight very much at all. I think some relationships are better off with the two people not being with each other regardless if the kids might not understand it right now but they will later.

Read from one of your comments to a response that you are thinking of going for pre-marital counselling with your fiance. Even though you might have put cart before horse like you mentioned by having your little gal first, I'm so glad that you're going for pre-marital counselling. In my opinion, that's a great step to take. I went for that (an 8 week course, once a week for 1.5 hrs) when we were engaged and it covered everything from personality differences (we did the test - think it was the Taylor-Johnson temperament test) to how we wanted to handle finances. It's great that you've known your fiance for 12 years, so there's probably little that you don't know about each other, but I strongly believe that such counselling does only good for providing a strong foundation for a lasting marriage, which you definitely desire! My parents are still together after 28 years. I'm very blessed in that respect. They always told me when i was old enough to understand that divorce was never an option for them since day 1 of their deciding to get married. they fight of course, and some fights can get nasty, but every couple fights, i believe. it's all about communicating and committing to love. come what may. I'm so glad that you're wanting to provide a secure environment for your little girl. However good the reasons for divorce, it always has a negative impact on children, if not evident now, possibly later. Every child wants their parents to live happily together. Think too many parents don't think before they have a kid, or get married... all the best dear, you have a good head on your shoulders!