Stay at home moms...

lol yup, i remember those days...and when the kids got up thru the night, he said 'but i have to work tomorrow' ya and i watch soaps all day...right! it is selfishness and my hubby was very selfish and figured i had nothing better to do than watch kids...last year i left him becuase of his selfishness and only came back after he had changed. now things are wayyyy different! of course, this will not work for everyone, but it did for me.

I deal with the same thing. I ask for a half hour to myself and hes says "You got lots of half hours when the kids were taking a nap" He thinks my job is easy, and it is IF you do all your parenting from the couch(which is his method). He doesn't realize that besides being the mommy, I'm also the laundry fairy, the dinner fairy, the maid, the manager, the secretary,the nurse, the accountant...as you know the list goes on. I'd like to think it's not because they don't care, it's just because they simply can't fathom doing a woman's ENTIRE job. Maybe a little selfish too.

You hit the nail on the head with this discussion. I am a stay at home mom and I know what you mean. My job, MOM, never gets the day off. I work all hours of the day. I even get called to work in the middle of the night to fix an upset tummy or nightmare. I am lucky to get a bathroom break without anyone in there with me. Don't get me started on the shower. When my hubby gets home he is off the clock and usually done for the day. My kids can be right in front of him but will travel to the ends of the earth to find me and ask "can I ....?" While they could have asked their dad who was sitting less then ten feet from them. I do have to say though My hubby will help out on occasion.I don't think many really know how tought it really is.

I think it is because most men dont think what we do at home is work or stressful. Alot of men that have stayed home because the woman was out working know the difference though. I believe one of the hardest and biggest job is running a household and raising the children. Me i dont even have the option i am a single mom and i run the household and raise the kids and work outside the home as well it keeps be busy to say the least and the kids no it is hard they help all they can. And there are alot of men who are like you said just plain selfish.

Oh, but the galling part is when I worked full time, the bulk of the chores remained mine, as he moved into MY house and I already had a routine in place. When the oldest needed running o and from babysitting, it was I who had to fit it into my work schedule, not him. When I worked part time, it was the same,but even worse. Since it was from home, I was still expected to get everything done for the house, gardn and family, and try to fit my work in around them. It came to a point where for me to do the bigger and more complicated jobs, he had to take over some of my chores when he got home from work or at the weekend and he just couldn't do it. I would surface from my work and find out while he may have done some laundry, I still had to make dinner, and it would usually be hours after dinner time. That sort of thing. I have realised it is all very thankless, so now I am a full blown SAHM, and as long as the house is clean and the kids are fed, I no longer bust my butt over anything. It's thankless.

I guess to provide a balanced view, our spouses are also faced with a lot of stress at work. Office work may be just as demanding as being a SAHM. Although SAHMomming is a full time 24/7 job and you can't just switch off from it once you 'clock off work'. As sole providers of the family, they probably feel intense pressure to perform, to get that promotion, so that they can bring more bacon, so to speak, home. So what is necessary is to communicate well, and to share each others' burdens. He might need some rest time, but he should also understand completely that you do just as much! When both parents work as team in bringing up their kids, only then is the work more bearable and the kids truly a joy. A joke to share - the difference between men and women. A woman knows all about her children. she knows about dentist appts and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears, hopes and dreams. A man is merely vaguely aware of some short people living in the same house. Take care and chin up! Maybe tell your hubby gently, dear i would really feel a lot better if i knew you appreciated all my work around the home and the kids.

It is usually a combination of they don't understand how tough it really is and selfishness. They figure they do all the "hard" work getting up and leaving the house and so we housewives must just sit around eating bon bons all day and that kids are a piece of cake! My husband does the same thing to me and I work outside of the house a few hours a week! Every day he comes home and he's like what did you do all day sit around?! I mean hello I am not God nor do I have a million arms to get everything that needs done accomplished in one day....Hello men must not understand that there are only so many hours in a day and sleep is a necessity even for us women!

I know how you feel. the only time i get to sleep in a tiny bit is on the weekend, then hubby will wake me up to watch bub because he has to sit on th toilet. Yet during the week if i need to sit on the toilet i have to leave the door open so i can watch and listen for my daugther who inevitably comes in and harrasses me! I cant sit there in peace, then why should he??!!

i tell you, this men have is annoying habit!! they think its but they have accomplished some feat!! by i feel, stay-at-home are constantly on wheels 24x7 and their work goes unrecognised and unapplauded. this is sad. a little this and a little that of motivating words do wonders!! kudos to them.

My hubby doesn't use those words but sometimes I feel like that is what he is saying under his breath. Being a mommy, I never get a break. Hubby doesn't understand this. And I keep some other kids in my home to make some extra money for us so I am busy pretty much all day long. Hubby doesn't understand that either. He thinks he has gone out and worked hard at his job, well I've worked hard at home too but I just think he will never understand. And when I take a bath I am constantly yelling where is the baby. Or either the baby will be in the bathroom with me pulling stuff out of the cabinets where I can't reach him or either trying to throw stuff in my bath water. I love my son so very much but sometimes I would just enjoy a break so I could take a relaxing bath or just do something for myself.

Ha !! You couldnt be more right. I really think that men just havnt got any idea...lol. Because they are at work they dont see what you do, all though its non stop. I would cherish just one minute to myself, I cant even go to the loo without someone searching for me.

I am not a stay at home but my husband does the same thing. I get up in the morning get the children ready, take them to the sitters, go to work, go pick them up, go home, do baths, dinner and whatever else needs to be done. He works nights so he sleeps during the day. He doesn't do anything around the house and he doesn't even see his children until on the weekends. When they want him he gets mad because he wants a break. What they haven't seen you and I have had them all week long and doing everything else it is your turn for a while. Never seems to happen though.

I know how you feel. But at least you get to take your shower somewhat alone. I am still at the point where my son takes a bath with me. (LOL). I get it all the time I will ask my husband if he can watch our son on his days off so that I can go do something alone (even if it is window shopping) and I get but it is my day off and I had plans to go play golf. I guess we dont get a day off. I think he just does not think about giving me a break or he thinks I really dont need one. I would love to trade places just for one day and see how he does!!

I HEAR YA!!! I am right there with you on this. My husband does the same things! I hate the'BUt its my day off' crap. When do we ever get days off, or weekends off? They are so selfish sometimes. My husband always replied with the 'but you are a better person than me' like that is supposed to justify it! It angers me so much sometimes. So I got to the point of leaving to go out alone on his days off. And I don't tell him until I am actually walking out the door. I make sure to be gone good and long. He finallgets the message. After years of arguing over this and protests that went unnoticed by him. After a lot of threats, he now sort of gets my point. He makes a little bit more effort, to let me shower or use the bathroom alone. Or changes the diapers or picks up after the kids, or plays soccer with them, or etertains them while I run out. SO overall I think it is both , they don't care and they are selfish. They don't appreciate that saying ' A man goes to work from dusk til dawn, but a womans work is never done' or something like that.'

hey come on.... moms at home really need to understand the people who go out and work in this case.... i dont know how the women at home expect the other people who go out and work to help them in house hold works.... i'm not talking about having a free time.... its about the tension people have outside.... moms at home can do their work taking their own time.... unlike the other people who go out, have some time limit.... should abide that rule, live this rule... so much things.... i'm not saying that house hold works are easy.... but they should understand that people who go out for work struggle double the amount than the house hold work.... welll think of the women who work..... they should do both house hold work as well as office works...., they'll trade off between cleanliness, house hold duties and their free time.... so i think moms at home should not feel much about the complaints!!!!!!!!

oh you are so right! i have been thinking about this for weeks now. they say after you have kids your whole life changes but really just the mothers life changes. the hubby still comes and goes and sleeps in on weekends cuz as you said its their weekend off. hello all i want is to pee in peace! yes they have to get dressed and go out of the house and we get to sit in our pj's all day and watch tv,ya know how the house cleans its self and the kids don't need anything all day. ha they couldn't do it for 2 straight hours let alone day after day. another thing is they have worked all day so they need to relax. we work 24/7. gotta love it.

Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Just this evening my husband asked if I could bake some chocolate brownies (which he is not suppose to eat anyways because he gets gout eating chocolate) and I told him after cleaning the entire house today and cooking dinner (because we have visitors coming to stay with us tommorrow and through the weekend) if he could do it for us. He looked at me and said "but I'm tired, I have been working all day" and I piped up and said "I am tired too I have been cleaning, cooking and running errands all day" LOL I did not budge from the seat. Ten minutes later he got up and did it himself (haha) I can smell them baking in the oven. Oh I Love My Husband :):)

Guys are sometimes insensitive. They think that women just lounge at home all day. I bet it is what guys would do if they don't have a job. But being a mom like you, he probably does not know the things that you have to do there, or at least he doesn't have an idea as to how tough your role there is. It would be nice if you two could switch places even for just a day, though I don't how that could happen. I do admire mothers like you, I see you as an unselfish person, always prioritize your family. Don't give up, your husband will learn to see your true worth. Be strong!!!