Are Men always being Active and Women being passive in dating and relationship?
By easy888
@easy888 (10405)
Australia
June 3, 2007 9:04am CST
'I just had discussion with my best friend about relationship and it just recalled my memory when we were in high school. She was the most beautiful girl in highschool and many guys had courted her,she rejected most of them but she had been actively courting another guy and they were into relationship finally.'
For Men-If you have feelings on a woman,will you do something to show your love to her? Will you always accept the woman if she is pretty even you do not have much feeling on her? Or do you think men should take the active role in relationship?
For Women-If you quite like a man,will you wait for him to show his love to you or will you move a step forward?
Do you think it is not good for women to be active? Should we wait for guys to make the move?
Do share your experiences:)
'I think dating is fun sometimes when each parties are guessing what the other party is thinking and try to make the correct move to match with other party.'
18 people like this
60 responses
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
3 Jun 07
LOL, easy. I am a very conservative bunny and haven't taken the first step to pursue a guy I like. I think it all lies in the way we treat a particular guy. Our body language, constant conversation, a little flirting. I can be transparent with my emotions and tend to show it freely so the guy can easily guessed that I like him.
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
3 Jun 07
I think you may also be a shy bunny as well.When you had feeling on a guy ,would you try not to look at his eyes directly or would you blush?? Honeslty,I am also a shy woman.
I could smile to anyone but not to a guy which i had feeling on,i tried to peek at him rather than look at his eyes.:P
5 people like this
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
3 Jun 07
I think men are actively pursuing someone when they are truly interested, when I think they are not interested and looking for something better along the way they have a tendency to sit back and do nothing. I know when I met my boyfriend now he wanted to go out with me bad enough that he went and bought 2 baseball tickets the first day we talked so we would go out, he knew I loved baseball, to me that was a very aggressive move, especially when I was used to telling people when I wanted to go out.
5 people like this
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
3 Jun 07
He is a baseball FREAK, Astros is his love, we have mini season tickets so we go to the game once a week or once every two weeks and never miss a game on the television. It is football that he falls asleep on me, I love most sports and football is my favorite and then baseball.
5 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
3 Jun 07
That mean you are the supporters of Houston Titans,aren;t you?? It is always a good entertainment for a couple to go for sports events if they both like sports. You should find something you like in the US,basketball,baseball,hockey,football,racing,etc.....
5 people like this
@ItTakesAllSorts (4096)
•
3 Jun 07
When ever I saw someone I liked I would make it obvious to them, but would still wait for them to make the first move.
Years ago I saw a man across the room at a party and I kept looking at him all night. Everytime he looked at me I would look away. By the end of the evening he came over to me, which was good!
When I first saw my partner at work I really liked him and one night I told one of the dancers on the show (I worked in theatre) that I liked him so she went and told him for me.
It took him 2 weeks before he asked me out on a date, we have now been together for nearly 19 years!!
I'm glad I told her to tell him:)
5 people like this
@ItTakesAllSorts (4096)
•
3 Jun 07
Even now I am still shy and if a man comes up to me who is lovely I still blush, although I am flattered.
Its still nice to look but not touch;)
5 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
3 Jun 07
I also did it before,it was strange,i mean i wanted to look at him but i would avoid having eye contact with him if he looked at me.
If without the dancers or you did not tell her, you might still look at him at work all day but look away when he looked at you,and no one might make the first move.
You should thank for the help of the dancers.I think you were also a shy women when young,just like me.:P
4 people like this
@steerforth (1797)
• Italy
3 Jun 07
Noooo!!! I think that man and woman must be active! I had a passive girlfriend and I didn't like a lot of things of her. A man must do a lot of things for arrive to her heart, but women can not do only smiles! :-)
4 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
3 Jun 07
I am soooo glad I am not dating anymore. I have been married for almost 12 years and with my husband almost 13. I think women are becoming more active than we were back when I was dating. But I never would have had the guts to ask a man out. I even lost a guy I liked to my friend because I sent her over to talk to him for me, and they ended up together !!I don't think men should only want a woman just because she is pretty, there should always be something else. Beauty fades with time, but heart, love, and soul last forever.
5 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
3 Jun 07
Does your friend still in relationship with that guy now??
True,beauty fades with time,I think women should treasure the time they have when they are young to do something they want or they may regret later on. I mean if they have feeling on a man,they should take the chance to make a move or it will be too late.
5 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
3 Jun 07
oh no, that was many many years ago..lol I think it's great women are being more aggressive, it just isn't in my nature, so I am happy to be married..lol
5 people like this
@magica (3707)
• Bulgaria
3 Jun 07
Hello, Easy:-) Sometimes we discuss about it with the man i am flirting with now. He said that sometimes he is tired to "lead the dance" and he wants me to have some more initiative. But i am more passive person. It doesnt depend too much from the gender, i think, but from the character of the person. I am a daydreamer. I need someone who will make the first step...or we will never date:-)
3 people like this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
3 Jun 07
If I like someone, I let them know. It might take me a while to get up the nerve to do so, but I don't sit back waiting for guys to come to me. I did that once, when I was a teenager, and totally missed my chance. The person in question was a guy I knew at school, and I spent a whole year flirting with him and thinking about asking him out... and then didn't. The next school year, I finally did ask... only to find out he had gotten a girlfriend over the summer.
I wound up getting hooked up with my current husband by telling someone else I liked him when we were talking online, and she told him before I had the chance to. It was funny because it saved me the stressing over how to say it, but still got the job done. =p
3 people like this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
3 Jun 07
Interesting topic, my friend...while I have been married for almost 20 years....I feel that there are subtle ways to show how you are feeling without a sudden bold attack....LOL
I think that each individual has their own ideas of how that should work in their personal relationships and when they find another who is of the same viewpoint...it can only blossom into something good!
Have a great weekend..
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
4 Jun 07
I think that there are many ways that a woman can show that she is interested without being aggressive about it...
making time to be available whenever he wants to do something together...because sharing time is importatnt in a progressing relationship...
that smile and look when you are attracted to someone can be seen by most....if they do not notice..but everyone else does....he is probably not interested....or dense..LOL
learning things about someone ....like their hobbies, favorite foods....showing an interest in the same things..
Oh, Easy, my friend....I know you are shy....but you have a wonderful imagination....I think if you truly wanted a man to notice you....he would be have to be blind to miss you!!!
@asahibza (388)
• Canada
4 Jun 07
Generally yes. Traditionally men have taken the lead in being active in dating and building relationships. In most of the cases women also expect men to come forward and take the lead in building relationships.
Even then things have markedly changed. Earlier sole responsibility of making relationships rested only on men. But now women also come forward. If not equally they also have started participating in this process.
In fact, in many cases now women take the lead. They actively start relationships and equally participate in dating. They have started taking the lead. In many countries women are liberated and and are equal participants in day to day lives.
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
your observations are right. this is because, women are now given much more rights in this worls, than they used to have. it is really better to make women more productive economically since they comprise half the world's population. when it comes to relationships, women just simply feel now that they have equal rights with men in pursuing in its realization.
2 people like this
@al87exa (720)
• Romania
3 Jun 07
I can say that i am not a passive girl, but i don t make first step. Never. i can't . Maybe my education, but i am sure that i will respond only if i like somebody, or if i will be inlove. But man are so dangeros, thay must keep to distance...sometimes when you think that are passive they will attack so easy..so, be carefull. Just kidding.
3 people like this
@abrarr (1246)
• Pakistan
3 Jun 07
being a man i htink women shud also do soemthin to get their guy. in most of the cases its guy who always makes a move and asks for realtionship of anyknd!! i think physical beauty does matters a lil bit but important thing is the beauty inside. nature shud b a thing of beauty not appearance!!!
3 people like this
@zangkits001 (25)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
my answer is, if you love somebody then go for it.
i have done this several times and 80% most of time i always get a great guy. ^_^
heres how i do it, if i like a guy of course i will go for it and show him how i feel , court him if you say so. yeah youll think that mostly guys like girls who arent aggresive but now a days waiting for men to do the first move is just a waste of time. why wait if you can get him right away? just act like your waiting, but give him hints that you really like him. dont show your feelings to often or show it but in a manner that he will guesse wether or not you like him. ^_^ guys like mysterious and fun women like we do, we like mysterious and fun guys coz we girls also like to guesse. ^_^ it keeps the game of chance very exciting. ^_^
this is how we also choose the strongest of them all. actually to us girls, this is a test for men. ^_^
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
nature has it that it should be the men who will be taking the more active part in boy-girl relationship more than women do. as for your friend, maybe she did it right. if one does not want anyone from the circle of suitors she has because, the one who makes her heart jumps goes to some other corner, she can always leave the circle and go to the corner. it is a matter of choice anyway. i for one, will not desire to be with anyone i cannot really love. although this realization is much too late, i can always share this with anyone. now, i am encouraging ladies not really to court the guy of their dreams, but at least to be friendly to them and be around them. if the guy has feelings for her too, he can always say so without much difficulty anymore.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
4 Jun 07
well i think we were brought up to believe that the men was to be the aggressive one,but i don't think it has to be that way.When i grew up my parents would not allow mw to call a boy,it has gotten better over the years but thats how we were taught.i think it is ok for the woman to make a first step and if men will go for it fine,but men were taught the same as we were that women were suppose to be quite and let the guy take to active role.I also think that that rule is changing with time.I think it could work either way.
@MH4444 (2161)
• United States
4 Jun 07
Well, I was passive for years and only the players asked me out. The guys I fancied didn't have the guts I was told to ask me out. Once I figured that out I realized that I had wasted years allowing myself to be a players' game. Now I ask the guy out that I fancy and I tell the players straight away to ahem..." bugger off".
wink, wink
tee hee
2 people like this
@silvernutbar (904)
• United States
4 Jun 07
The general stereotype is that men are supposed to make the first move. However, my recent fledgling relationship was started when my girlfriend began stalking me online. As bad as that sounds i' exaggerating. She simply made it incredibly clear she was interested and persued me like a rabid chihuahua. I'm incredibly glad too.
It's nice to be wanted, and even better when someone let's you know. i do wonder though if this makes me the 'chick' in the relationship.
2 people like this
@enkayblog (69)
• United States
4 Jun 07
first off, you always have great discussions
and if you think your friend is "the most beautiful girl" i wouldnt be surprised to find out that it was actually YOU!
As for the question. I think that I am very open about telling someone that I like them or love them. With one of my really close friends, Steph, I show my loving and caring nature towards her openly and she feels that its a good thing. With any girl I like, I like to tell her that I love her or how much she means to me. I also dont think that I would just be with a girl because of her beauty, I prefer to like someone because of how they make me feel and will only pursue a relationship if i find that she brings joy into my life.
2 people like this
