Why Do I always get blamed?

Nigeria
June 5, 2007 9:36am CST
My husband has this habit of transfering his anger to me whenever the children offend him. Does anyone out there share my experience? How do you manage such situation?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@tina12679 (1126)
• United States
8 Jun 07
It seems to me that it doesnt matter what offends my hubby or gets him angry i am the one that gets it full forse. We usualy fight and that is that i guess i dont think that is what you call handling it but that is what happens here. I hope that i still may have the chance to manage it better in the future.
• United States
5 Jun 07
My husband will lash out at me when he's had a bad day. He does it without realizing. I've started calling him on it which has helped a lot. When he does it I just ask "Is it really me you're mad at or did you just have a bad day?" Usually he'll apologize and then tell me everything that went wrong at work. Maybe the same thing will work when he's mad at the kids and gets mad at you.
• India
5 Jun 07
its happens.... sometimes my hubby blames me... and sometimes i blame him.... most of the time, i'll be the one blaming him and starting a fight.... lol..... i take it in a positive way, spice to life.... i dont complaint about it.... because we do it as fun... we know it sincerely who is responsible for what has happend.... but still we blame each other.... we dont fight on what has happend.... but it does work... take it in a sportive manner... try out this.... before he blames you, why dont you say... "Ah ya, i'm responsible for what has happend now!!!! you wanted to say that only, right????"
5 Jun 07
I think that your husband is feeling stressed due to his job or finances.Excess stress can make people behave this way.Perhaps he is not able to communicate his feelings in his office or workplace where he may be facing problems or unequal treatment.That is why he takes out his anger on you.I would suggest that you talk to him everyday at night and ask him how his day was,try to share his troubles and more importantly,make him realise that you are always there to support him morally.hope that helps some.I know I do feel stressed a lot of the time and wish that there was someone with whom I could speak freely and who could help me in some way.
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
5 Jun 07
I haven't had it happen often, but my husband does get irritated with our daughter and sometimes he tells me I coddle her or I spoil her and I need to stop it and it turns into an argument. I just tell him if he wants to talk about it, then we can talk about his concerns, but if he wants to argue about it, then I have nothing to say. That is how I have handled those situations in the past. I will not tolerate arguing about the children, in front of them or him taking it out on me when he finds something that offends his temperance.
• United States
5 Jun 07
My hubby is crabby when he is stressed about work or finances and tends to take it out on me and the kids. Not violently, just cranky and tends to hollar at the slightest little thing. I just hollar back and walk away. Or I give him the silent treatment which he hates and he normally will snap out of it. Then there is sometimes I tell him to leave until he changes his attitude, but he never leaves he changes is attitude instead. Good Luck! ;)