Have you ever felt that your LOVED ONES are
@keepermykitty (2573)
Canada
June 6, 2007 4:12am CST
using you ??? Not in so many words but they always want you for something ????
Whether it be food , laundry , clean the house , or just to pick up their DIRTY LAUNDRY ( if it dirty at all) I think men like this are rude and don`t consider the one they love at all ...
My BF keeps leaving his clothes all around the house , I feel like I`m living with a baby who I have to pick up after everyday ....
I mean even my kids know where the dirty laundry is , but my BF has no concept of if at all ,,,,
when he comes in at night he just sits and waits for some supper then he gets showered but leaves everything for me to pick up ...
Wouldn`t that PEAVE U OFF ????????????
It does me I am sick and can barely clean after myself , but he still expects me to chase him around and pick-up everything behind him ...
It never bothered me until I said to him that I`m not his servant and he turned around ans said "Well I give you something to do """"""""
I mean how would you respond to something like that ????? especially when we don`t have any children together ....
Mind you we do have Grandkids kind of together but , this is his third year in a row he is spending with his granddaughter and the only time I had with My Granddaughter was her first Christmas and the Poppy's Funeral ...
I mean is it wrong for me to say anything or just shut my mouth
I AM so sorry about rambling on and on but I had to Get It Out ....
Did I make any sense at all or a complete fool of myself .?????....
Can anyone give good advice cause it seems to me that this guy is using me , or am I just thinking the wrong things about us altogether ,,,,, Idon`t know HELP ME WHAT WOULD YOU DO ?????
I thank-you for helping and atleast for listening ....
2 people like this
15 responses
@ElicBxn (63594)
• United States
6 Jun 07
Honestly, this is a BIG part of why I don't have a man in my life. WHY should I have to clean up after someone else, when I don't like cleaning up after MYSELF!
I think its time to start thinking of a new boyfriend.... or no boyfriend if you can manage it.
1 person likes this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
28 Jul 07
When its really bad I wonder why I have a man , I know what your saying ...
Life is what we make it I guess ...
@smints8985 (1594)
• United States
7 Jun 07
Well the way I see it, the guy doesn't have a sense of responsibility at all. Being in a relationship makes you want to have someone to share life with. Somebody who will be by your side to help out with everything, not for you to have someone else to take care of.
I think it was just right what you did, of course we take a little bit more but then when someone doesn't seem to be aware of what he is doing to you, then it is just right to voice it out and let him know.
He should realize that you are his partner, not his personal maid and that he should be responsible enough to clean after himself.
1 person likes this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
29 Jul 07
Well I agree with you , he did help me out a bit but it only lasted a couple days .
Now I`ll see how long it will last before I blow up at him again ...
I don`t like it but I have to or else it will never change ...
It is my own fault though , when we first got together I did everything for him ...
I probably still would , but I am sick andd can barely pick up after myself let alone pick up after him ...
Thanx again for listening ...
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
6 Jun 07
Well Kitty when I was married I was working full time and sometimes I would not get home till 8-9pm
My Ex Husband would be Home about 5 but do not believe that he would make Dinner or sort the Kids out that was all left to me for when I got home
In the end my Daughter learned how to cook so she would sort herself and her Brother out while her Father was lying on the Settee sleeping, then at Weekends I would clean the House from top to Bottom while he was out and yes he left his Dirty washing lying around as well which I would pick up every night and put in the Washing before I went to bed
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
28 Jul 07
Thats so sad , I must say we don`t have kids to pick up after , only cause I told his daughter how I flet about it , so she moved out ....
I felt horrible about it , but I do believe it straitened her out , now if she comes to visit she doesn`t mess the house , she finally has respect , and thats all she needed ...
RESPECT ...
Thanx Gabs ...
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
6 Jun 07
Its okay your not making a fool out of yourself. Im sorry to say this to you but you should have never started picking up his clothes. Because if you didnt he would have to pick them up himself. Its too late now to change it all around now. You just cant do that. Men dont get that.LOL Hey Im learning too. All you can do now is give it a shot tell him to put his laundry in the laundry basket or your not washing his clothes. I guess its worth a shot. Good luck let us know how this turns out.
1 person likes this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
28 Jul 07
Believe me I changed it , I just won`t anymore and he knows it after almost 10 years ...
I do blame myself , but it was up to me to change it and I did ...
He now picks his clothes up and even sweeps the floor once in a while ...
FREAK ME OUT ...
@Beauce (50)
• United States
6 Jun 07
My bf picks up after himself very well, and he's actually pretty clean. I was injured on the job and couldn't work for about two years. He figured that since I wasn't contributing financially, that I should do a little extra around the house to make up for it. I had three herniated disks in my lumbar spine. I used my settlement money to put myself through school. I graduated with a 3.92 GPA. I still managed daily, in severe pain sometimes, to do the laundry, study from morning till night, go to classes, cook meals, do dishes, wash floors, etc.... I did this crap every day for two years. What really browns my butt is that I allowed myself to do this. He would come home from work every day with mud all over his boots (he works construction) and walk right through the clean house leaving a trail of mud.
So, recently I just stopped being his servant, I cook meals when I want to, I wash the floor when I'm damn good and ready. He just has to deal with it. The buck stops here. And you know what? He seems to be dealing with it just fine.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not a slob now, I just don't clean the whole dang house every day, I have a life too. Today, he appreciates the things that I do for him. Before it was all taken for granted.
1 person likes this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
28 Jul 07
GOOD FOR YOU GIRL ...
Thats great , and its about the same for me now ...
Not that I don`t want to , but I can`t and I won`t ...
He finally knows it ...
And we don`t argue about it anymore ....
Thats the funny thing I figured we would always argue over it ...
@butterfly39 (3904)
• Philippines
7 Jun 07
Hmp...It's hard to live that way for so long. Can't you not leave that guy and enjoy with your grandchildren? You don't deserve such kind of parnner in life. He's not only using you but he never loves you at all. I don't know if he's paying you for all those things you did for him. Then you now why you don't have kids together. What if you have? It wil just give you pain. Cheer up...and let him go.
1 person likes this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
28 Jul 07
I actually changed him for the better , now he helps me when I ask or he knows I won`t do it for him ...
Like I told him I`m not Killing Myself for him anymore , I look after the animals all day , but I`ll not look after him all night ...
He does pick most of his stuff up , just once in a while I still have to , thats not so bad , I can live with that
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
6 Jun 07
Oh yes, I think we all feel that way, especially those that stay at home and work. Our family are the ones that invade our workspace by coming in and asking us to quit to take care of them. It is only common that you would feel this way, I have many times. I live with my boyfriend and his 18 year old son, who I refer to as Pig Pen (from the Peanuts cartoon). While I love being at home, sometimes it can be overwhelming when they come in and drop all their work related stuff on me and then the clothes start dropping and then they are requesting that I make them dinner, have their clothes cleaned and the house cleaned at the same time. I hate it too, especially when I have to go in our son's room and it is a mess with clothes everywhere, I bite my tongue and clean it up and sometimes when my Pig Pen comes in with muddy boots just when I mopped our floors I lose it and tell him to leave and go to my boyfriend to take care of it for me, we are all go through this, such is life.
1 person likes this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
28 Jul 07
Your PIG PEN sounds worse than mine , I juust gave up on it and now he is understanding what I`ve been doing for him all this time ...
Only once in a while I`ll have to but thats only after a really hard day , thats the only time I don`t comp;ain about it now LOL LOL LOL ...
@ScrappinHappyMom (914)
• United States
6 Jun 07
I am right beside you. This is the one of the big issues with my husband and I. After fourteen years though I have really just given up and accepted that he will never clean up his dirty clothes so I just spare my self the frustration of arguing with him and pick up the clothes. I figure in the grand scheme of marriage this is the least of our problems.
I have tried talking to him over the years and now he at least only leaves his clothes beside the bed so I don't have to trail all over the house looking for his dirty clothes.
I say that if it is really bothering you, then you should sit down and have a heart to heart over it. Or stop picking up his clothes maybe when he runs out of clean clothes he will think about using the laundry basket.
1 person likes this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
28 Jul 07
My Bf does leave them by the bed , but they end up under the bed , and I am nopt getting on my hands and knees for his dirty clothes anymore WOULD YOU ????
No not me ...
He now understands that ...
TG
Thanx alot I used to think it was only me who went through this ...
Yeah Right LOLOLOLOLOLOL !!!!
@ScrappinHappyMom (914)
• United States
6 Jun 07
I am right beside you. This is the one of the big issues with my husband and I. After fourteen years though I have really just given up and accepted that he will never clean up his dirty clothes so I just spare my self the frustration of arguing with him and pick up the clothes. I figure in the grand scheme of marriage this is the least of our problems.
I have tried talking to him over the years and now he at least only leaves his clothes beside the bed so I don't have to trail all over the house looking for his dirty clothes.
I say that if it is really bothering you, then you should sit down and have a heart to heart over it. Or stop picking up his clothes maybe when he runs out of clean clothes he will think about using the laundry basket.
1 person likes this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
28 Jul 07
Thats what I used to do , but when he looks at me and says , Where are all my briefs and socks , I just started saying Well look under the bed ...
I won`t get on my hands a knees to find them anymore , their not mine ...
I don`t wear them ...
Its sad ...
@marymarj2002 (1769)
• Philippines
7 Jun 07
Well, my husband is also messy but not that much. What I don't like about him is his negligence towards our expenses in our house. He prioritise his family (mother, father, brother) than us. I am always left trying to budget my earnings.
1 person likes this
@tingipingi (1)
• India
7 Jun 07
no dear its not that way at all which u r thinkin jut give him a little space tell him that u don't like it n share ur feelings for him he'll definetly leave this
1 person likes this
@vinzen (1020)
• India
28 Jul 07
Hi, I simply don't understand as to why are you still with this person ? When the problems have reached so far, and of course the first course can be to try and talk out things decently, where you should tell him what you like and what you don't. And incase that too doesnt help, i dont think you should stay with him at all. Why should you live in syuch miseries and remain unhappy when you can be happy outside this relationship. No harm trying :)
1 person likes this
@akartik87 (86)
• India
6 Jun 07
i hav never felt like that with loved ones but many times with friends..they used to use me to get their things done. many time whenever we used to play mostly i used to bring the equipment...they hardly brought and used mine...i stoped that friendship...i suggest u too stop if u think ur being exploited.
1 person likes this
