How much are you affected by what others think of you?
By arkaf61
@arkaf61 (10881)
Canada
June 10, 2007 12:40am CST
It used to affect me. I wanted to be liked by everyone and tended to do everything for that to be true.
It bothered me that people thought I was this or that, I tried to be accepted and would get hurt if people found my efforts funny. I would get hurt if people talked about me behind my back, and felt insecure when they would stop talking when I entered the room.
BUt for quite some time now I really don't care.
My friends know me. They know who I am and what I am . They accept me as I am, and I don't need to change for them. They are the ones that count.
As for anybody else... sure I would like for them to like me, accept me, but I really don't need or want to go overboard to change their minds.
What about you? are you affected by what they think of you? HOw much? Enough to make you change for them? Does it matter to you? Do you even care?
7 people like this
21 responses
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
10 Jun 07
I guess we would all be affected to a certain extent. After all, we are not hermits living on our own islands.
So I try not to let those comments affect me too much. Whether it is good or bad ones, I try to take them with a pinch of salt.
If there are things brought up that it is worth changing, then naturally, I would heed them and try to change for the better. ;-)
@shrey_aryan (350)
• India
10 Jun 07
well it was something lyk dat 4 me few yrs back dat i use 2 b affected by what other's think.....!!
but now i live 4 me and i love being me....!!
1 person likes this
@shrey_aryan (350)
• India
11 Jun 07
well dat's gr8 enough b'coz it gives us more choices in doing or acheiving something....!!
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
10 Jun 07
yup. when younger, we feel so affected about what others may think of us. we even ended up crying and pittying ourselves.
but now, we learned that it is us who can love and accept ourselves. noone else can. so, people may judge us but we don't care. we are who we are and that's it.. anne
1 person likes this
@syain1972 (1011)
• Singapore
10 Jun 07
I used to be super sensitive about what people have to say about me. I've even tried to accomodate to their needs rather than mine. But when I get older, I couldn't care much about what people have to say. I have my life to lead. I find it such a wasted energy to be too involved.
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
10 Jun 07
I used to be the way you describe as well. I always wanted to be liked and wondered what people truly thought of me. Always afraid people were nice in my face, but actually hated me. I no longer care. I have taken a new path in life, and I am starting to care less and less what others think about me. As long as my husband and kids love me, that is all that matters to me. I do still want people to like me, but if they don't, it is their problem not mine. I am who I am, and I am not changing for anyone but myself !!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
11 Jun 07
Like you I used to let it upset me very much specially if it was lies I mean even my Ex Husband was saying things behind my back even though most of them where not true (I found this out after we split up) now I just smile and think well if it makes you happy to talk about me then carry on
@smints8985 (1594)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I also used to be affected by what others think of me, how they see me and if they'll like me. But after that, it gets really tiring to continuously please people. I just be myself, and more often than not they seem to like me better as I really am, with guards down and all.
But then sometimes I still cannot completely put my guards down especially when it is someone I like or someone really intimidating.
But I have cared less of what others think of me now as I have before.
1 person likes this
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
11 Jun 07
I can't say I don't care although I don't let it get to me as much as I used to when I was younger . But I do tend to do what is expected of me even if it is not who I am and not what I want to do . It would be so much easier to not care what other's thought and I would love for other's to be able to see me for who I am but too much of my time is wasting trying to be who I am not .
My family is the big problem . I tend to be myself around my friends but my family doesn't like me when I am me . They want me to be like them and I can't . It makes me mad and angry that they can't except me for who I am and it results in a lot of angry fights especailly with my mother who can't seem to except the fact that I am an adult and nothing like her and I never can be what she wants me to be .
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
12 Jun 07
It depends on who it is. I don't care what strangers think about me. If you judge me before you meet me then i don't want you as a friend anyways. My family is a different story. I do care what they think about me. Especially my children i hope they think i was a good mom to them.
1 person likes this
@dlkuku (1935)
• United States
10 Jun 07
When I was younger I realized that if someone thinks bad of me or chooses to not like me without getting to know me, that is their problem not mine and I won't bend over backwards to change someone's mind.
I like me for who I am, and the ones that know me and love me are the ones that count.
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5055)
• New Zealand
10 Jun 07
Hi, Im not affected from any of that, how do I know what others are thinking, unless they tell me to my face, which so far no one has, as long as I know... Anyway I refuse to live my life by what others think or say, Im my own person and I approve of myself, exactly as I am, thats all that matters "louise hays". If I know Ive done good or if Im feeling good, then I got no worries... There are alot of people out there that do live life to please the ones that are draining them mentally and physically... Thats not me...
1 person likes this
@Lvdeckape (320)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Well, I guess it all depends. I mean I do care what others are thinking and I guess I could care less on what they think of me. I am always thinking if they are judging me, because so much of that happens and even on mylot people judge others without getting to know them first or whatever the case may be.
As for my family, I want them to except me as I am and they have but still sometimes I think "what are they thinking", when I do a certain something.
it's difficult to explain, but it doesn't make me feel better or less of a person regardless on how they feel, I just care about what everyone is thinking..lol..
-Lora
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
10 Jun 07
i am not affected about how people perceive me to be. but i do listen, too on what they say about me. i believe that i can know myself better through others. so, i am amazed sometimes about how others think of me... but not to the point of changing just to please them. i am me and i am happy to be me. so, people might like or not like me. i don't care... anne
@jeanena (2198)
• Bucklin, Kansas
11 Jun 07
I use to be very bothered by what I thought other people thought of me.As I have gotten older things dont bother me anywhere like it use to.I have a new way of thinking now.I feel like if they are talking about me they are leaving someone else alone.As long as i know i am doing right by my children what other people think really doesnt mean squat to me anymore.
1 person likes this
@Jennifer21 (2476)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Well, acceptance from other USED to be a big deal for me.
But now, I am NOT concerned of what others think of me.
I realize everyone has their own beliefs and interests in who they accept.
If someone does not accept me for my personality, what I say, or what I do in my personal life, I no longer care.
I have given up on trying to persuade people to my beliefs or my way of thinking, because I have realized EVERYONE IS DIFFERNT.
It does not affect me as it once did.
If someone accepts me, of course it makes me feel proud.
But if they don't accept me, it doesn't bother me anymore.
I have found myself and realized that I am who I am, and no matter what everyone else says, it will not change me.
1 person likes this
@MJLami (1173)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I used to care - if the person I was wanted to matter to mattered to me. I learned a very hard lesson with that. The person I wanted to matter to didn't know me and listened to a creepy liar that got rid of him thinking I would be with trash instead. Everything this loser said about me was a lie and it kept getting worse with the lies so sure I would just stop fighting its lies and accept I had no choice. Now I couldn't care less what anyone thinks me - so what? I've already lost more than I ever should and hurt deeper than anyone ever could because of what someone else said. No more!
1 person likes this
@gabefoley (1)
• Australia
11 Jun 07
I wouldn't change specifically because of someone's perception of me, but it would certainly make me think about and evaluate myself.
I find myself changing a fair amount in order to be accepted by people, even on face value, but I have a core amount to my personality that remains the same. The more I get to know people the less it worries me.
1 person likes this
