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Do you suffer from Mom envy too?
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
United States
June 10, 2007 1:47pm CST
When I see other moms who seem to have it all figured out, I get a little jealous and wish I were more like
them. Some moms seemingly breeze through life, with a clean house, well stocked pantry, home cooked
meals and well behaved kids, while holding down a job on the side and looking more like Brie from the
Desperate Housewives.
When it's all I can do some days to mop the kitchen floor, tie my hair back in a pony tail (and hope the husband doesn't complain too much) and spend the rest of the day dealing with a cranky preschooler.
How do some moms get it all done, while the rest of us struggle along? Are there any magic secrets to being organized, on time and cleaned up that we should learn?
Do you compare yourself to other moms? How do you deal with the idea that other moms seem to have it
all together? Do you think they're for real or just faking it?
8 people like this
17 responses
@wahmoftwo (1296)
• United States
10 Jun 07
I try not to compare myself to others but it is hard some times. There are things about other people we don't know. I try to remember that. Maybe her Mom helps out with the kids... maybe some relative left them some money and that's how they always seem to have the latest and gratest of everything.
I think everyone has their own set of problems.
3 people like this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
13 Jun 07
It's so true. You never really know what a person is going through when the front door closes.
@jmcafam (2890)
• United States
10 Jun 07
That is too funny cause the other day I was looking around my not so untidy but could be tidier home and thought I wish I could be more like Bree. In the sense of how she keeps her home clean, always has these amazing dinners, and in public her kids are their best behaved.I could live without all the drama she has. I know I am not a Bree by any means. But I do have to say that I am there for my kids and hubby. Like you, there are just days that when I am lucky enough to get by with a load of laundry and meals, I have a pretty clingy 11 month old who demands her attention. I think to all those moms that can have and do it all good for them. Maybe from our stand point they have it all but maybe there is something missing from their lives that we may have.
3 people like this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Mine went through the hip hugger stage when she was that age too. But, now, two and a half years later, she's super independent and mommy can get some stuff done at the house. Things get easier, as they get older and more mobile.
And, now I get some time spent on My Lot everyday, so that's a plus.
I used to be super jealous over Brie's house. And then I saw one of those behind the scenes interviews about how they decorate her house, (and make it look so fancy) and it made me feel better knowing that she has a team of people working to make her home look that way.
She doesn't do it all herself. It can look that good, because she has so much help.
Sure, it's a fantasy, and I want to live that way. I wish I had the super human powers to look like I just stepped out of a tea party, clean house, baked pies and social circle friends.
But, I don't have the budget for it.
I used to envy Brooke's dining room from the Bold and Beautiful. It was so swanky. And, of course, I knew it wasn't something she had decorated herself. Then I heard one of the set decorators talking and she said that the dining room cost over $100,000 to design and decorate. It made sense. Soap operas have the budget for that kind of oppulent design. They have the money to pay a team of people to come in and clean everyday. I don't.
There's no way I can compete with that kind of money, so why not just do the best with what I can afford. And, be happy with what I've got. Otherwise I'll just make myself miserable trying to live up to a pretense.
Good luck with your little one. Be well.
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
11 Jun 07
You know I have wondered this myself many times because each time I was pregnant , I was the mom who had the house perfect , the meals on time , the clean children and had time to do something with myself but after I have each of my children I lose it and don't know how I managed when I was pregnant because I can't seem to get things in order no matter how hard I try . I have five children and it has been the same with each one of them . I can do a great job with little effort when I am pregnant when I should be more tired and yet can't get it togehter after I have the baby and don't know how I did it before . I want to be the person ( besides the wacked out hormones ) I am when I am pregnant lol .
2 people like this
@bunbunrocks (185)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I get jealous too, while some other moms look at me and get jealous. I think it's all in the game of being a mom. While I'm not organized, I do arts and crafts with the kids, and all the neighborhood kids love coming to my house because we have so much fun over here. I'd rather spend my time finding the Popsicle sticks than spend months getting it all straight.
I think every Mom fights her own battles, no matter how perfect things might look. Sending huge hugs your way - you are doing the best you can do. And if mopping one day is the best you can do that day - just be sure to sit on the floor and play for a bit too. They sure won't remember a clean floor, but they'll remember the time spent with you!
2 people like this
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
11 Jun 07
i compared myself to other moms, until my son was diagnosed with autism. at that point i realized that the idyllic clean house and well put together me won't happen very often for me.
i never really put much stock in how other peoples kids behave in public. my son is sometimes better behaved than the "normal" kids we see, and sometimes he's worse behaved, that's how it is for all kids, i think.
2 people like this
@JeanMa (6)
• United States
10 Jun 07
I know exactly what you are talking about.. I think we all have met the "perfect mom" who seems to have everything under control.. I have met a few of the so called "perfect mom" and I would not trade spaces with them for a minute. Behind closed doors there is a lot of arguing and drama, kids are under a lot of strict rules. Everyone has to behave in a certain way or "mom" would have a fit.
I personally think they are just obsessive compulsive. I enjoy my stress free household.. yeah it may not be "perfect" but perfect is not a normal state anyway. I like my kids to enjoy their house, we have to clean up after wards.. but is not a stressful environment for them.
Some of us need a little extra hand to help keep things tidy, but that is solved by getting plenty of storage space and assigning space where things should go.. if you do not have the space to put things.. where do you think they will end up ? piled up in a corner or all over the room.
Also keep some kind of appointment book or calendar to keep track of important events etc..
Assign chores to the kids to do exp. clean their rooms, make their beds everyday when they wake up.. put their clothes in the dirty clothes hamper etc..
First of all is that the "grass" is not always greener on the other side.. sometimes is just fake grass or painted grass you see. Relax and enjoy your family. If you are happy, they are happy.
3 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I never envied any that had a spotless house, never ran out of anything, etc. They obviously had lives that were about as exciting as watching an icecube melt. I would rather have a house that looks lived in and children that are happy and have time to live and have fun.
@nangel78 (1454)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I love being an aunt and a big sister. I recently became a big sister 18 months ago and I enjoy it a lot. My nephew is turning 13 as well. I like the fact I have had the experience to learn about children. I am amazed at working mothers who are able to get it all done though. I am only a mom to 4 cats, but that keeps me really busy as it is!
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Lots of duct tape and lies! That's a mom's secret weapon. Seriously, though, it takes a village to get it all done!
@lovelyladydancing (1016)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I get Mom envy everytime I look at babies. I want to be a Mom :(
1 person likes this
@sodapop (977)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I know what you mean, I used to have the perfect mom envy. But once your kids get older, it gets easier to have a clean house. And then they move out and go to college, and you long for a cluttered house with toys all over the place. Or for someone wanting held all the time, stepping on lego, barbie shoes, hot wheel cars; yes, then you want that cranky preschooler back. Forget about the house, and the perfect moms, and just enjoy your children. They will be gone sooner than you think, believe me, I learned the hard way.
1 person likes this
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I dont compare myself to the "perfect" moms out there because it may look like things are great from the outside BUT looks as we all know are deceiving!
I think the ones that do try to be perfect have insecurity issues on the inside of themselves so they have to make it look like there perfect on the outside which is a bunch of B.S because there is no such thing as the "perfect" mom.
My house isnt gonna always be clean because I do have a 4yr old and anyone who has kids know they take out toy after toy and leave it on the floor so im not worried about my house being spotless.
1 person likes this
@rapidfire (100)
• United States
11 Jun 07
i have a 10 month old who needs to held almost all the time but i manage stuff around the house cook 4 times a day,breakfast lunch evening snack n dinner do the dishes clean up the house n my plants n all th cleaning most of the days...my husband is all the help i have n he watches her when i make the dinner f she is not howling out for me.....otherwise she will be on my hip...i do everything when she is slepping waking up maybe at 5/6 n sleep at 12 in the night.
for my looks all i do is use olay regenerist n hardly any makeup , a lip gloss n a pony thats me
i gave up my career when i came here to US maybe i will restart soon something from home....
i do all this bcos my mom did everything for me always there for me no take outs everymeals made by her n she still time to finish not only school but also her masters with 3 kids.she is my inspiration
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
10 Jun 07
My sister is like this! I have no idea how she does it. I only have one child, 10 months old, and it's incredibly hard to get things done. I find that many of these moms have "easy" children. I, on the other hand, have a high needs child who wants to be held all the time! It's a miracle if we make it 30 minutes without him crying. I love him all the same, but it doesn't leave much time to get things done.
2 people like this
@qandamama (3)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Sign me up! One of my children is preschool age, and on the autism spectrum. My other child is almost two... So anywhere we go, it's a sideshow. And housecleaning? PAH!
1 person likes this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
11 Jun 07
FAKE! i have seen some of these moms you are talking about but i am telling you what they are not happy in any way what so ever. they spend all day at work come home make supper clean and clean some more so they have that perfect looking house but in the mean time where are the kids. i have 3 boys 6,2 and 8 months and i don't work. some days i find it hard just to get a shower before 5pm. my house is clean but there are toys all over. they come in and take there clothes off and thats where they stay till i make them pick them up. i am sorry but i think it is not posible for a mom to have it all and still be happy. how does she get all of this done plus be a good mom. this type of mom isn't going to sit on the couch and cuddle all day and watch cartoons just because her kid has the flu. us moms with the not so clean houses like to sit and cuddle when our babies are sick or play in the rain or just sit and color while the toys pile up in the middle of the livingroom. i don't see how these moms could be truely happy or their kids. they have to be afraid to step wrong with mothers like this.
@yamahagirl (415)
•
11 Jun 07
Hi there,
I belive that some mums can cope with doing all that not like me i find it really hard to cope with looking after the kids and cleaning the house i dont even get out i dont have a life since i had my kids cause i domnt have any family to help out oh well i just have to get on with it lol
@ateiris (53)
• New Zealand
10 Jun 07
As we all know, our mothers been through to the stage that we are in now hey are our great source of experience, knowledge and so on...Have you notice when you whine about your life as a mother they all gonna say "Been there...done that" i think if we put more effort and dedication then we will achieve where they are now and we will say that i ask this question before and now here i am. Let just put a lot of effort and a lot of hard work in our motherhood career and we will become the next mother to be envy off.
So go mother and lets rock.
