hitting rock bottom...........crying out for help.........

The responses suggesting that you talk to your doctor are correct. I just wanted to let you know that I was also diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Disease a few years ago. I have one child, but I can't have anymore. Don't think that your depression is coming solely from the way your life is going right now. Talk to your doctor about it. I did and mine told me that depression can sometimes come from the disease itself. I wouldn't reccomend some of the medications he put me on at the time, but there are a lot of very beneficial new medications out there now. You don't have to live your life being unhappy. As far as your marriage, mine was exactly like that for quite a while. We still have our rough spots, but communicating with each other is the most important thing you can do. I don't mean just talking...tell him exactly why you're unhappy and listen to his reasoning as well. I'm not going to lie to you, marriage is hard, but as long as you both love each other, you should be able to work it out. Even if you can't do it yourselves, that's what they made marriage counselors for. I wish you the best of luck.

I can relate! During the first 5 years of our marriage, we fought like cats and dogs. I almost called my mother to send money when we were overseas so me and the kids could come back. You would be amazed at the people that would miss you if you weren't here. Probably some that you didn't even think of. Have you thought about counselling? It might help both of you. Or maybe you just go. Talking things out with someone that's not involved and has an outsider's view might help.

1st of all you need to get to a doctor and get yourself some help. It sounds like the way you feel isn't going to go away on it's own. Feeling hopeless is a red flag for someone who is depressed. You both need to slow down and take it one day at a time. I know how hard it is, but you need to figure out a way to deal with what comes your way. Your problems are over bearing and it's getting in the way of the good things in life. Maybe some councelling or a support group would help too. There's really no easy way to deal with the problems you're having. You're taking the 1st step by reaching out for advice. Now you need to reach out for help. Only you and your husband can decide what route to take though. I wish you the best of luck.

been there, done that...i left my hubby for 6 months last year and that helped us a lot...we have become way more unified and have both changed for the better..i dont recommend this to everyone, but sometimes you just need a breather...... marriage is HARD work and if anyone says differently, they are kidding themselves! you might want to think of marriage counselling too...good luck!

I have been there, and trust me, it's a horrible place to be, I know. From what you're describing, it sounds like you may have quite bad depression. I do feel that a visit with your Doctor would be beneficial to you. You need to talk to him, explain whats been happening, and how you feel - just the way you described it to us here at Mylot. He can prescribe you some medication that will help you, and stop you feeling so terrible. It'll take a little while but it's worth it. Don't go on suffering when you don't have to.

Let me start by saying, I hit rock bottom with my husband about 5 years ago. It was exactly as you described, except I was the one saying I didn't want to do it anymore. We decided to work on our marriage and could not be in a better place than we are right now. I felt exactly like you feel. Like somehow, I had lost who I was and become something I hated. I will also tell you, that with working on my marriage, I also worked on myself. I took everything my husband said, everything I felt, and I worked on changing. I am today, still an ever changing human being. We all change throughout our lives. It is up to us to make sure we are going in the right direction. It would make a difference if you were not here. It would make a difference to alot of people I am sure you don't even realize. I have been there, and I know how it feels. It is probably the worst feeling in the world. If ever you want to talk or get something off your chest, ask a question, get some advice. You can feel free to message me. I will be more than willing to help in any way I can. I know how lonely you can feel, and how hard it is. I hope you are able to work through all of your issues.

Recognize that you are in a down spot right now and it's alright to feel the way you do. You DO know that you matter to people. We just seem to get tunnel vision when we're like this. For one, don't try to get pregnant at this time. It won't help matters; it won't save your relationship. Instead of concentrating on the fact that your husband almost left, realize he's still there, so he must want to work things out. But if you don't even like how you are lately, how is he supposed to? You have to start by working on yourself. It's not easy going to a job we don't like, but more people do it than don't. I'm sure the weight gain has lowered your self-esteem. That's another reason to forget about having a baby right now. I doubt that you're a cold-hearted person, and the mere fact that you made this posting shows that YOU do still care, vs. 'not giving a crap anymore'. Maybe you just need to unload on someone who is impartial to your situation for a session or two. You're both going through your own personal stresses and seem to be venting on each other, possibly because you're isolated to some extent. Sometimes life can make us feel so down, so hopeless, so alone, and yet in a week's time things can change for the better. So, hang in there!

Honey! I have been where you are! Don't think such things! I know it isn't easy and your life is really hard right now, both of you trying so hard and you feel like your hitting a brick wall with all of your efforts to stay afloat. Then on top of that you don't know if you will have the ability to become a mom? First of all you need to take a deep breath, step back and see what is positive first. Lets think of the positive. You have a good husband right? You both have the ability to talk things out and comfort each other as you described. You do have a good job and are able to provide insurance for yourself and husband, it is enabling you to stay afloat financially while your husband finds work. I know you don't like it hon, but we do things in life we don't like because we have to, thats part of the sacrifice you promised when you committed your life to this. I know you know that, and I don't need to remind you of that I am sure. Your doing it, so that alone tells me that you know. now....lets look at the negative and put it in perspective. You hate your job but it provides for you and your husband. So, it is something you have to deal with. Lets move on, you have polycystic ovary syndrome. I have that as well. I am 120 lbs. overweight. I have one child and have had 4 miscarriages, 1 tubal pregnancy. I don't tell you this to make you sadder, I tell you this to tell you that it is possible to have children. The thing is you have to reduce your stress before you can even consider trying to conceive. I have managed to lose 6 lbs. by walking daily and watching what I eat. It also helps with stress relief. Now, when i felt like I was losing my mind when I was in your situation, I sat down, I wrote all of the pro's and con's in my life down with my husband. That helped clear my mind. I took all of the stressors and put them in order of importance. the ones on the last part of the list I put on the back burner and just concentrated on the most important. Right now getting pregnant is not the most important. Getting financially stable and ending the stressors between you and your husband are most important. So, maybe ifyou do this together, you can really start teaming up against these problems together and work with each other. Sometimes when we get so stressed out we forget that we have someone to depend on and we just hold it all in and it comes to a point where you feel your going insane. It sounds like that both of you are doing that. I dont know if this will help you at all, but just know that there are people out there that have gone through what you are going through and we have survived! I am here to talk about it! so, just take a deep breath and don't feel like your world is crashing in on you! Take care and stay strong!

I am currently where you are at this time. I have a wonderful marriage, but I am at rock bottom. I don't even want to leave the house. From what you have describe it sounds as if you have some depression. I try to fight mine on my own. Eventually it will get better, so I hope! You may want to see a doctor if you don't feel you can handle it on your own. They can put you on anti-depressants. If your husband is like mine, he hates the fact of not working and providing for his family. That can put a lot of stress on a man. We have been in that situation except I wasn't working either. We both lost our jobs at the same time. Keep talking because communication plays a big roll in keeping a marriage alive. Understand his feelings as he needs to understand yours. Don't give up because it will get better in time. Hang in there and keep smiling! ;)