Are Married Women Usually Like This?

@lexus54 (3572)
Singapore
June 12, 2007 4:48am CST
In my married life, I have never ever gotten into any physical fight with my wife. But with any married couple, there will be the occasional squabbles and disagreements. Our case is no different. There are times when we quarrel over something, there is no right or wrong in the argument. It is just that we didn't agree with each other's point of view about a matter, and at times it gets blown over. When she is angry that I didn't give in to her, she will show her displeasure by not talking to me for some time (you know, the silent treatment women are famous for!). I'm usually the more composed one, 'cos I am slow to anger. But since she is not talking, there is a deafening silence because I can't be talking to myself, right? But everytime such an event happens, there is one sure way to break the impasse. All I have to do is to go up to her, say "sorry" to her and give her a hug, and the smile will come back to her face. The silence will be broken and the relationship will go back to normal. This is irrespective whether I was wrong or she was wrong. For your information, she doesn't do that to me. I must be the one to do this. My conclusion is that she needs to be pampered and I have to give in somehow when we quarrel. Are all married women usually like this? Do all men have to do this to keep a good marriage going well? I wonder.
5 responses
@nitzel (79)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
It's true that women like to be pampered, but I don't agree that what you're experiencing with your wife is normal. I'm so sorry but in my opinion, your wife is an insecure, spoiled brat! She's just so lucky to be married to someone as patient as you are. Marriage should be give and take and no exceptions. It's sweet of you to be always the first one to comfort your wife, but don't you think that you should both sit down and talk about this? Or can you stand being this way for the rest of your married life? If you can, then she's just plain lucky!
1 person likes this
@nitzel (79)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
by the way, just thought you'd like to know. I am a woman and most of the married women I know are nothing like your wife.
@lexus54 (3572)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
Ok, I respect your views. My wife though is not an insecure, spoilt brat. Far from it. She's actually a very filial, kind, considerate and generous person who cares about others. That's why I married her. We share a lot of common things. It's just that she likes to be pampered this way when it comes to arguments, and we don't have such arguments often anyway.
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
13 Jun 07
No, my friend, not all marriages are like this....but I feel that at some point after a disagreement....someone may indeed have to apologize or at least offer to discuss further the issue which caused the hurt felings.... I am not an overly quiet person....while respectful and considerate of my husband's feelings even when annoyed at him...I do not utilize the "silent treatment"....I do not fell that is productive in helpng us to reach an agreement about whatever the issue is.... I do think that you and your wife sound like you have a wonderful marriage and whatever continues to work for ya'll...without causing bitter feelings....whatever continues to allow the love and respect to be maintained is the perfect solution... Continued marital bliss and good fortune to you, my friend..
@lexus54 (3572)
• Singapore
14 Jun 07
Thanks as usual for your input. Yes, we do have a wonderful marriage relationship, and I can picture myself growing old with her in the years ahead. We usually make up easily after any squabble, and never harbour any ill-will towards each other. It keeps the marriage going well.
@tmlnmr (1850)
• Canada
12 Jun 07
Yes alot of women are like this. Definitely not all women though. I am not like that exactly, I cannot stay mad at my hubby if he gives me a hug but it doesn't make things all right. That doesn't always work with me either, I have to be ready to forgive or ready to let it work for it to work. My hubby is usually the one to give the silent treatment when we argue and when he has calmed down enough I normally have as well but there is the odd time that doesn't happen or that he didn't realize I was even peeved at him. Let me ask you this. Are all men that mindless? Can you guys not tell when you better half is peeved at you without us saying so? I wonder!
1 person likes this
@lexus54 (3572)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
Thanks for sharing. It looks like your situation is the opposite of mine. I wish sometimes my wife will do the giving in and say the magic word. Well, some men may be mindless, but certainly not all. There are a lot of good men out there. I guess all married men have to learn the fine art of reading their better half's minds, and know how to react appropriately to the situation.
1 person likes this
@hellcord (673)
• Romania
8 May 09
Oh Lord, I HOPE not all women are like this, or I will go through wife like wives go through shoes :D I am a very open minded and relaxed young man, but if I believe I am right in an argument I am prepared all the way to Kingdom come, and will not budge not one bit, not for the girlfriend, not for mom, not for family, not for anybody. I'm most likely to go to the end and DUMP people, rather than step on myself and admit I'm wrong or say I'm sorry, when I believe I'm right. Any future wife had better learn to say sorry or let it go and move on when we don't agree, or she's outa there :D
@lexus54 (3572)
• Singapore
8 May 09
Hi there hellcord, thanks for offering your viewpoint. Based on your stand, I see you have a very strong will in standing up for what you feel is right. That's usually good since people in general don't want to be bullied into submission, but in the case of a life-partner, I guess then it will be a challenge for you to find someone for your life who will not mind you handling your relationship with her this way. Hope that will work out for you in time to come. Cheers.
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
7 May 09
Hi, lexus I do not think that all women are like your wife. But one thing I am sure of is that when my husband goes up to me and say sorry with a hug, my anger will surely evaporate. Just give in and pamper her As you said, there is no wrong or right argument, you are just squabbling probably over a trivial thing. It would not hurt to let it pass. Take care!
@lexus54 (3572)
• Singapore
7 May 09
Thanks Rainegurl for your thoughts on this subject. Looks like your hubby and I practice the same strategy to break the impasse after an argument with the spouse. Sometimes, it's the pragmatic thing to do. If this simple act helps to heal wounds, break the communication barrier, restore the soul and bring back the smiles, then the gesture's certainly worth it, never mind who's in the wrong. That becomes secondary and at times inconsequential.