Jealousy - how do you feel when another woman throws herself at your man.......?
By rosie_123
@rosie_123 (6113)
June 14, 2007 5:54am CST
Or I guess I shouldn't be sexist and say how do you guys feel when another man hits on your woman?
The subject came to mind over the last few days, when I was at a "corporate event" for my partner's business, and I witnessed no end of women throwing themselves at my beloved!!! Some of them were so blatant (especially after a few glasses of free champagne!), that I just had to laugh - I think it's his "foreign" accent or something - makes all the English women go weak at the knees! Well I guess it worked for me, so why shouldn't it work for them too!?
Anyway - as you can see I had a good laugh about it - that kind of thing doesn't make me feel insecure at all - just makes me laugh, and I wonder if they would be so keen on him in the cold light of day first thing in the morning! But I guess some people may feel differently - so what about you? Do you get jesalous if you see someone obviously making a play for your husband/wife/partner. Does it make you feel threatened? Or are you actually quite flattered that so many other people find them attractive and they chose you!
10 people like this
41 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
15 Jun 07
Rosie I am a very insecure Person due to my Previous Marriage and my Childhood, the Man I am with now I trust completely I have never trusted anyone like I do him but sometimes that bit of insecurity comes through though and I can't help it
@rosie_123 (6113)
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15 Jun 07
Gu Gabs sweetie - nice to see you here. Thanks for your honest answer.
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@rosie_123 (6113)
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15 Jun 07
LOL - sorry Gabs! Of course I meant to type "Hi Gabs" - not that strange word "gu" - I apologise for the typo!!
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@Madona1 (2096)
• Gibraltar
14 Jun 07
For this case, I would act the same as you - just have a laugh. Because I would like to take this chance as the best chance to test my beloved could handle such temptation or not. If he passed, I would trust him more and would be flattered by finding an attractive and bright man. If he failed, it was not late to know who he was.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
14 Jun 07
geeze. i wish i were like you both who can just laugh about it. although i won't feel bad really, i might think about it and be alarmed. hehe. i trust my man but still, i am afraid of possibilities. but you are right madona, it's just like a test... not a test for him but a test for the relationship... anne
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@rosie_123 (6113)
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14 Jun 07
Well I'd never really thought about it as a test Madona - but I guess you're right. Thanks for taking part, and thanks to you too, Anne.
@Madona1 (2096)
• Gibraltar
14 Jun 07
Hello both, It is my pleasure to share the view. Years ago, before my hubby and I got married, a just separated woman tried to flirt him and he was tempted. But after a few thoughts, he chose to stay with me and told me the true. And he knew it was wise to tell me the true before I found out from someone else. He passed the test once!!! LOL
@xbrendax (2662)
• United States
15 Jun 07
I don't ever feel jealous, infact 100 women can throw their selves at my man because if (HE) wants them, then I don't want him! It will not bother me a bit if he cheats on me because it'll just show me he never loved me in the first place and I don't need him or all the problems that go alone with a cheating person! I don't believe in fighting for your man, if he wants to be with me only, well then he will and won't be tempted to go elsewhere! And if he wanted someone else, so be it, I will leave! I will also never take him back!
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6113)
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15 Jun 07
I think that is a very wise post and thank you for it. I never believe women who say "she stole my man" - because no man can be "stolen" unless they are ready and willing to go! You can't keep a grown adult man on a leash - you must trust him enough to be faithful, - and if he can't be faithful then you probably don't want him anyway - you can find someone better who won't cheat on you!
@wondericequeen (7876)
• Hong Kong
14 Jun 07
I think my jealousy would depends on if my partner has a reason for me to be jealous of. If I know that he loves me perfectly and I wouldn't even be sad. But to be frank, if I see "ladies" like that, I would probably be mad at their shameless acts. I respect couples a lot and I respect people's partners. If the guy is somewhere with his partner, I wouldn't throw myself at him even I find him attractive. What make these "ladies" think they are better than the guys' partners anyway? I don't get it and I will never get it. So, I wouldn't be jealous, I would be astonished by the acts.
@sheenshaukat (2617)
• Pakistan
14 Jun 07
I will die with shy, when ever I will come to know that some one else is creating relationship with my lifepartner. Then my culture will force my to finish my life along with the life of my partner and I will never allow the third person to live here in this world so my first victim will be the person who disturbed or tried to own my love. that is all.
1 person likes this
@okwusman1 (2247)
• Abuja, Nigeria
14 Jun 07
actually, i used to be jealous especially if my wife is playing with another man
even sitting together.
when we were still friends or lovers, if someone calls her especially a male, i
must ask her whom the person was and what connection she has with the person.
Infact i am a jealous lover. how can i deal with it?
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6113)
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14 Jun 07
Well I really don't know how you could deal with it. I guess your wife has never given you any reason to doubt her, so you will just have to try and trust her. Thanks for your reply.
@okwusman1 (2247)
• Abuja, Nigeria
15 Jun 07
oh thanks for your advice. i will continue to love her. cheers
@alnilam (969)
• United States
7 Oct 07
I must say that my guy is really good looking (tall, dark, sport figure) and it happens a lot that girls/women are trying to make a move on him (even if i am sitting right next to him) but I mus admit that i enjoy that. i mean poor girls are really trying their best and they always get a cold shower. and it also tells me that my guy really is number one not only in my eyes but also in the eyes of other women it gives me a bit of an ego trip i must confess.
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@rosie_123 (6113)
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7 Oct 07
Yes I do understand where you're coming from here! It's kind of flattering that your man could have anyone he wants to, and yet still chooses you:-))
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
15 Jun 07
For me it depends on who is doing the throwing of their bodies...if its someone who KNOWs he's my husband and her and I have total dislike for each other to begin with then I get pretty ticked about it...Otherwise though I find it totally entertaining really...and usually I wont say anything, I'll just sit back and watch my husband usually pipes up anyway
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6113)
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15 Jun 07
Yes - I guess "entertaining" is a good word for the spectacle! Thanks for your response.
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
23 Jun 07
It would not make me feel insecure - but it would make me mad!!! Not at him, but at them for beeing so disrespectful right infront of me.
I really think that people lack respect today and I find that sad =)
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6113)
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20 Jun 07
Yes – I think that’s the best way. A relationship without trust is very empty in my opinion
@Naomi17 (624)
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25 Jun 07
I'm just back from Ibiza and it was clear a lot of the females thought he was Spanish he's not and flirted with him i was fine about it i feel confident in myself and know he's the one who gets the hump if he's sees guys looking and flirting with me in fact he did get ratty when a guy grabbed me and decided i was the one for him lol
When i went to the toilet a girl came after me wanted to know why i was with my hubby she said i saw him first just keep out of my way lady, when i came out my hubby was avoiding her like the plague he said don't leave me again she's stalking me lol
@winky73 (1404)
• United States
15 Jun 07
I don't get jealous that easy and for the most part I think it's kind of funny....because woman always hit on my bf.Just the other day we went to get a haircut and the woman that was cutting his hair was all over him.I could not help but laugh.....because he kept on giving me the "please help" looks.
I feel like I don't have any reason to be jealous.....simply because I know I can trust him.
I actually think it's good for a person to know that others find them attractive and as long as they don't act on those advances.....it's okay.
1 person likes this
@andrejuly84 (1047)
• Romania
22 Jun 07
i feel a little jealous but depends on his reaction
if he rejects her i'm not so disturbed
anyway i'm not as jealous as he is
every day he asks me who called me what messages i've received who i met when he was missing
and nothing happend
he had long time ago reasons to be jealous but now in the present he has no reason in fact
i can't understand the obsesive jealousy because if your partner wants to cheat you he cheats you anyway and you can't even find ever
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@rosie_123 (6113)
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22 Jun 07
I very much agree with that. If someone wants to stray - you can't hold them back and trap them - in fact, the more you try, the more they will want to stray!
@brendakaya (2332)
• United States
5 Oct 07
Ok, I admit it. A few years ago, I was jeoulous, and it would have broke my heart. Now, back to reality, and today. If some woman were stupid enough, to throw themselves, at my husband. I'd beg them to take him, and keep him. I'd even pay them, an entire, months' pay, maybe 2, if they'd both sign papers, stating that he'd never bother me again.
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@rosie_123 (6113)
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5 Oct 07
LOL - well I know that I am lucky and don't feel that way, but knowing your situation - I do understand what you mean! Thanks for responding.
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@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
14 Jun 07
Rosie my friend, you have a wonderful relationship with your man and it's a credit to you, it really is! The trust you have makes your relationship real strong and you are lucky to have such a fine gent indeed and yes I'm sure it does make you feel great other women fawning over him, knowing that he wants YOU and no one else. I am rather a Jealous guy, but then I don't go for relationships and never want to so jealousy in that department never rears its ugly head. Oh and I forgot to say your gent is very very lucky too to have you x
@rosie_123 (6113)
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14 Jun 07
Well thanks for your lovely words wolfie - I will take them as a compliment! Relationships aren't always easy - I think we all know that, and everyone has their ups and downs, but if you're lucky enough to find the right person, then it's great to have someone to share things with, and have a laugh with. I know that I am lucky to have found a man that shares my rather quirky, perhaps unconventional view on life.........I wouldn't last 5 minutes with someone that tried to "own" me or tell me what to do, and I know he feels the same! Our trust is complete and we are very strong, and are together because we want to be together - not because of some piece of paper, or social convention or any of that! I often tell him how lucky he is to have me too - LOL! Thanks for your response.
@kareng (59126)
• United States
14 Jun 07
First of all I think it was very tacky and in poor taste of other women to throw themselves at your husband at an event where you were attending together. I think you handled the situation a lot better than I would. Of course, it would all depend also on how the spouse responds to the attention.
@rosie_123 (6113)
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15 Jun 07
Well I agree it was pretty tacky of them, but I personally feel it would have been even more tacky of me to react - the classy thing is turn the other cheek in my opinion, and rise above it all:-)) Thanks for your reply.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
15 Jun 07
My first husband was gorgeous and women flirted terribly with him. Alas, he had no confidence or self esteem and it made him uncomfortable. He didn't pick me either, I picked him. LOL. I enjoyed the whole thing when it happened.
The second time I went out with my ex (number 4, lol) we went to a club to see Renee Geyer. The place was packed and this girl/woman was making eyes at my bloke. She was quite blatantly staring at him, and he was staring at her. I was slightly embarrassed but also offended because it was just so rude. There was a long queue at the bar and she had gone to stand in line and so he did too. To this day I'm not sure what his game was, anyway, back in their seats they continued to catch each other's eye, leaving me sitting there feeling uncomfortable. I said to him "If you prefer to spend the evening with her then do so" and with that he became more attentive and he ignored her. The show started then and was exceptionally good so I ended up having a super night. It was very unlike him to behave like that.
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
15 Jun 07
My husband and I are in a rock band so it kind of goes with the territory. The girls flirt and hug on the guys and the boys flirt with me and we all get a laugh out of it. I've never gotten jealous or angry at anybody yet and as far as I know neither has he. We both know who we're going home with :D
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6113)
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15 Jun 07
Yes - I guess it does! And I agree - you both know who you're going home with - so were's the harm in it!?
@devilsangel (1817)
• United States
15 Jun 07
Well now that its warmer outside it happens to us a lot. Me and my guy went to the pool the other day and all I could do was laugh. I swear if I had a buck for everytime a girl came up to him and told him he looked like Orlando Bloom I'd be rich right now. There was a girl who went as far as to drop something so she could bend down in front of him. I started laughing at that point. I don't get jealous and I take it as a compliment when women stare at him or try to hit on him. They see what I already know, he's a great man and pretty hot to boot :)
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6113)
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15 Jun 07
LOL - good for you girl - glad that you can see the funny side!
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