I could kill my boyfriend right now!!!
By Marie2473
@Marie2473 (8512)
Sweden
June 17, 2007 6:28am CST
He went out with his friends last night to have some fun. I do not have a problem with him seeing them or going to the bars and get waisted since it doesnt happen very often.
However when he came home last night I was sleeping, and when I woke up he was. I could feel that he had been drinking alot and i thouhgt to myself *hahaha, he´s gonna feel really bad today"
Anyways when he wakes up he tells me that we need to talk so I sit down. He then says that he was waisted last night and that they ended up in a gambling place where he gambled away all our money that we had left for next week (until payday)
I am sooooo angry and right now I am not even bothering to speak to him. I know that he is sad and that he is dissapointed in himself as well, but he knows better than this-
He is one of the most responsible people I know and he has snever ever done anything like this..
Am I beeing to hard on him?
20 people like this
53 responses
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
17 Jun 07
Hello Marie. If this is the first time, I guess you can go easier on him. At least he is "courageous" enough to admit his mistake to you right no instead of waiting for you to find out - or worse, or do something both of you might regret to cover up this "lie".
Just try to impress him that doing it once doesn't mean that there has to be a second time. This is the first, and should be the last.
5 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
18 Jun 07
I doubt that he will ever do it again. he seems to feel worse than I have ever seen him *lol* I have forgiven him =)
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
17 Jun 07
I can understand what you're feeling, marie. You are right to be upset with your boyfriend. The thing is, it happened already and there's no need sulking about it. The money won't come back.
If your boyfriend sincerely regretted what he did, the best thing to do is to forgive him. I hope he will learn his lesson well here and will not dare to gamble all the money again.
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
17 Jun 07
Yes and no, while he knows he did WRONG, and he feels bad, it is not going to help the situation for you to be angry with him, he is a big boy, he knows he did wrong and probably due to his intoxication and the prodding of friends he was vulnerable in a weak moment. Whatever the case may be, he needs you to be supportive of him in the good and the bad times not to be angry at him. This will pass, as the paycheck comes and you both survived, but what not needs to come is any harsh feelings towards it, perhaps you can borrow from a relative or a friend to get through the week, or maybe your respective employer's can advance you some funds, but however you work out, you work it out together, supporting of each other's good and bad faults, we all have them. Take care, my friend.
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
18 Jun 07
We all make mistakes just like u said - and he is paying for his. not becaue of me - I have forgiven him - but he is hard on himself =)
I am sure that this was the first - and the last time he will do something as stupid!
@us2owls (1681)
• United States
17 Jun 07
I question why he had ALL the money with him. When we go out my man takes a certain amount with him each time and that way he doesn#t spend everything we has to last the rest of the week. I would sit down and have a serious talk with him over this - find out just exactly what happened - and I would also make sure that when he goes out again he leaves some money behind.
@student7 (1002)
• United States
17 Jun 07
I know exactly what you are going through right now. My husband and I lived in Las Vegas for a year and he had a bad habit of taking his paychecks to the casino to cash them. Well the temptation got the best of him and there were several occassions that we had to wait until I got paid. We had a family friend who worked as head of security at a casino and we told him that if he sees my husband in there to turn him right around and send him home. I know exactlty. I had the same reaction that you had. Yes you have every right to be angry on him and I don't think that you are being too hard on him. He needs to realize that the money that he blew is going to affect you for the rest of the week. It will show him your disappointment in the situation. I will say good luck and pray that you make it through the week.
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
17 Jun 07
Thanx. This was the first and ONLY time this will happen. I am sure that he is feeling worse than me. He does not like it when I am angry with him=)
I am sure we will make it through, and I will sit down with him later when I have cooled off a bit
1 person likes this
@mike2003 (287)
• Philippines
17 Jun 07
Ask around Marie.. and you're not being too hard....That'll actually teach him a lesson..
What was he doing with all your money anyway and are you sure this is the first time that he has gambled?
Either way, I think you need to resolve it sooner so that it doesn't get into a really big fight...
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
17 Jun 07
No, it is not the first time that he gambles =) but usually he will gamle for around $10 and that will be it =) Was ALOT more this time.
He is feeling really bad right now, he has gone back to bed bu I know that he is not sleeping,,
1 person likes this
@claudia413 (4280)
• United States
17 Jun 07
The two of you definitely need to sit down and discuss the whole situation. It might be better if he would drink less when he's out (that goes for all of us) so that his judgment is not impaired. He should also leave his debit card at home to alleviate the temptation to spend more than he's supposed to spend while he's out with his friends.
You're not being too hard on him at all. It does sound like he's being pretty hard on himself, and he did tell you what he did, so he gets points for that. At least he didn't try to hide it from you. I'm sure the two of you can work this out and come to a mutually agreeable solution.
My best to both of you.
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
18 Jun 07
We have talked about it, and he feels really abd about the whole thing. I am sure - that he will never do it again!
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
17 Jun 07
No and I say shoot another meatball at him!
Ok ,no, really you're not being too hard on him. He should have known better and he is capable of making better choices. Why shouldn't you be mad? Would I take it to the point of killing the relationship, no. But I would let him know this mistake had better not ever repeat it's self. Then I would let the responsibility of figuring out how you two are going to get through to next week be all his. He made this mess, now he can be a man about it and fix it the best it can be.
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
18 Jun 07
I would not break up with him over this, not since it´s only happened once and he seems to feel really bad about it.
I doubt that he will ever do it again..
I will throw a meatyball at him later though =)
@urbandekay (18278)
•
17 Jun 07
Yes, if it a one off incident, to err is human, to forgive divine
all the best urban
3 people like this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
17 Jun 07
While I am sure that you are disappointed with him right now, my friend....He has to be feeling bad as well; as you said he is a responsible person and having never done this before....Other than the temporary hardhip that he has caused....I think that it is a lesson well learned and I would probably forgive him...it was a unwise decision but not the worse thing he could have done...
Hopefully you have already paid what bills were due and have food in the house....
Good luck my friend....remember we all make bad choices occassionally...it's only money....
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
18 Jun 07
Yeah _ all bills are taken care of so the money was "just" spending money - we will live =)
I am also sure that he will never repeat this coz the guilt he is going through now is bad =)
@laridbz (1280)
• China
17 Jun 07
Hi, Marie. I never get angry at my boyfriend, but I think he could piss me off a little acting like that. But I know I wouldn't feel like killing him, that's for sure. As he is a very responsible guy, I suppose he will never do this again. So, instead of being so angry at him, try to find the fun in all of this situation. In the future you'll probably laugh a lot about it anyway!
Well, it's your boyfriend and your relationship, but that's what I would do!
3 people like this
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
17 Jun 07
Hey Marie2473~!
Cheer up there~! I could understand why you're frustrated and I really don't think you're going overboard or anything. I think it's only natural to feel the way you do. Savings is a really important deal for couples, and for the other person to just gamble it all away just like that would definitely make the other partner mad. Even though I can understand that he's never done this before, it doesn't mean you can't be hard on him. He has to realize the consequences of his actions and how it has affected not only you, but the both of you~! I guess you should just cool down before talking to him about it again. I'm sure you guys would be able to handle this like mature adults.. Good luck~! :)
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
17 Jun 07
I am sure we can solve the problem, I am just so dissapointed at him right now.
He never drinks as much, so that he looses control and acts irresponsible. Oh well, I will cool off =)
1 person likes this
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
17 Jun 07
Aww.. I can understand how you feel. Well there's always a first for everything right? I'm sure this would definitely make you into a stronger woman. And he would learn his lesson. Don't forget to do a followup.. :) Take care... *hugs*
2 people like this
@mestr12 (226)
• Philippines
17 Jun 07
Marie, I feel for you right now. You are not being too hard on your boyfriend. You reaction was natural and logical considering that he gambled all your money and you guys are left without a single cent until the next payday. Just give yourself time and space to cool down. The next time your boyfriend goes out with his friends, better get hold of his atm (debit)card that way he doesn't get another chance of wasting all your money on gambling. Take care.
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
18 Jun 07
Yeah i will take that from him next time. Actually he has already given it to me - he sayd that he just wants cash on him in the future. he feels so bad =)
@loopylou2406 (382)
•
17 Jun 07
yes id be angry a few weeks back my boyfriend was supposed to take me out and then never showed when i never got a call off him i cancelled the bank card so he could not spend no more, it was hard on us with next to no money waiting on the new bank card but im glad i did it as the kids had food and we had money left which we would have none of if he had stayed out all night spending it,
it caused an argument but i aint going to let him treat me like crap telling me one thing and doing another, he wont be doing it again in a hurry as he knows ill do it again.
i dont think ur being to hard at all, he needs to know your upset, and he needs to feel bad too
3 people like this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
17 Jun 07
well, i can totally understand how you feel at the moment... i will feel the same as well if i am in your position... and you are not being too hard on him at all... i will have a serious conversation with him and make him promise that he won't do it again... at the same time, i will try to cool off myself and contact his friends as well to ask them about what actually happened...
2 people like this
@rakhii (1302)
• India
17 Jun 07
I would say Marie that whatever has to happen, has happened. You now need to plan your future. You now need to plan how to get money for your expenses. Just forgive him timely for what he has done, otherwise he would stay in depression and wont be able to think properly. he might take a wrong decision in depression. So sit together and think what and how to do next.
Plan out your things and everything will be alright.
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
18 Jun 07
He is forgiven and I do think that he will NEVER do this again he feels really bad about it.
@fly_shay (333)
• Philippines
17 Jun 07
Uh, I felt bad for you since he wasted the money which is suppose to be spent until payday but I guess you should talk to him again and discuss things and tell him what you're gonna do at the moment and if this will happen next time.Goodluck
2 people like this
@tracy1985 (654)
• China
17 Jun 07
hehe....you know that he was drinking a lot,matbe after he was in drink,he could not control himself,and do something wrong,just like he could not have a clear mind,so he might use all the money which is very important to you.
I think he must regret,you should forgive him.and tell him not to do this again.take it easy.
2 people like this
@saierchok (1294)
• United States
17 Jun 07
lol, spent it all??? thank God I never gampled and never will.. hope it wasn't much! and yes you should be hard on him so that he learns! :P
2 people like this
