Why would she say that?
By Lifez2short
@Lifez2short (4962)
United States
June 17, 2007 5:08pm CST
I have an older sister although we are only 13 months apart she is still older.
And yesterday I went to her house for my nieces birthday party. Well not her house she had the party in a near by park. And after the party we went back to her house to drop stuff off and we hung out for a few minutes. Well we were talking about how we both think we look fat in pictures. And I asked her how much she weights and she took out a scale and said if I get on it she will. I know I have been struggling with my weight for a while now. So I told her OK but you first. So she stepped up on the scale and it said 267 lbs. She kept insisting the had to be wrong there was no way she weights that much. But I got on the scale anyway and it said 253lbs. I actually figured that was about right and that I had actually lost a few pounds. But my sister out right said to her husband "I'm sorry but there is no way I weigh more then her". So of course the scale had to be wrong. I was hurt by her saying this out loud like it was OK to just say about someone let alone your own sister. Would you ever say this to your sister? Has anyone ever said this to you? I wonder if she even understands that what she said hurt my feelings.
5 people like this
26 responses
@teison2 (5921)
• Norway
17 Jun 07
I think it was a very insensitive thing for her to say. I think maybe she said it because she felt bad about herself, and making that remark made her feel a bit better and maybe more in controle of the situation. If you are able to I would just forget about it. If you cannot I think it would be a good idea to calmly tell her she hurt your feelings.
3 people like this
@Lifez2short (4962)
• United States
17 Jun 07
Yeah Im thinking Im just gonna let it go. It felt so much better after I wrote it down here.
2 people like this
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
17 Jun 07
I am so sorry, that is terrible!! She should have kept her feelings to herself!!! I totally would have been upset if I was in your siuation!!! She was probably trying to just make herself feel better and the easiest way to do that was to make you look bad. Don't take it personally, the scale doesn't lie!! You know the truth and just try not to let her insensitive comments bother you!!! I don't way close to 200 pounds but I would still not step on a scale in front of anyone except my husband and kids...I am just that self-consious...so you deserve credit for stepping up and proving your sister wrong! Even if she wouldn't admit that she weights more than you.
2 people like this
@Lifez2short (4962)
• United States
17 Jun 07
She has to keep in mind also that I have 5 kids and she only has 2. I guess I should have just ignored her but it did hurt my feelings.
2 people like this
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
17 Jun 07
Don't let it hurt your feelings!! That is probably what she wanted to do!! Just look at your precious kids and be thankful for them..even if they did do a terrible number on your body!! (I know my kids did)!! Our kids are way better than a perfect body...I would choose my kids every day!!
2 people like this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
18 Jun 07
That is just a crappy thing for your sister to have said. I bet that she really didn't say it to hurt your feelings. She was saying it to try to make herself feel better about her size. You can't let this unfortunate comment come between you and your sister. You weigh less and you both probably carry your weight in different places. Why not get together and start walking or dieting so you will like the way you look in photos...this might even bring you closer together.
2 people like this
@Lifez2short (4962)
• United States
18 Jun 07
We have talked about going to a gym together. I will be OK she did hurt my feelings but I will get over it.
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
18 Jun 07
No I do not believe your sister realized she hurt your feelings. I will tell your I have been the fat one of my sisters all my life. I have been rituculed for it also. Now my older siter who is 50 had her first and only child at the age of 41 and is only a few pounds less than I am. She has always been the skinny one. She has always been the one who has told me and my twin how to keep our weight down, she also told us how to be parents. I believe she is getting her just deserts. Your sister will get hers. What goes around comes around. I do not believe she ment to hurt you she just was upset at herself and could not believe she could weigh less than you.
Sometimes older sisters need to be knocked down a peg a two. LOL.
Keep your head held up high and don't let her know how she hurt you, it will only put fule on the fire.
2 people like this
@Lifez2short (4962)
• United States
18 Jun 07
Thats what everybody else has said thank you.
1 person likes this
@lavenderbloom (1057)
• United Arab Emirates
18 Jun 07
This is so rude of her. she should not have said this loud. she could have said to you in private if she ever wanted to tell. I feel she said this inorder to prove her husband that she is not that fat. But, i can understand your feelings. May be you should tell this to your sister or else it will keep burning inside your heart and you will never be able to talk to her as you did before. All the best.
2 people like this
@Lifez2short (4962)
• United States
18 Jun 07
Yeah she could have waited until I was gone.
1 person likes this
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
19 Jun 07
Oh my--- that was just wrong- I bet she didn't mean to come off as so rude and hurtful- Did you tell her that her comment hurt you?
My sister in law has a problem- she cannot stand any body fat- she was anorexic at one time- she told me- prior to meeting and marrying my brother- She grew up in Cali- anyways- every once in a while when we see her (they are in Kansas now) she will say oopps-- looks like you are putting a few pounds on- I tell her- Oh no- I better go puke- lol-- I don't let her bother me- If she wants to be a bean pole- so be it- Let me be me-
I hope you tell your sister that it hurt and let her explain-
@Lifez2short (4962)
• United States
19 Jun 07
I will tell her on my own time. Not right now because I to mad and dont want to do or say the wrong thing.
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
18 Jun 07
Sorry to hear this happened. Unfortunately if she can come right out and say something like this then I doubt she will be able to understand how hurtful her comment was.
People often say hurtful things without thinking and forget it can be quite hurtful.
Congratulations with the weight loss.
1 person likes this
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
I am sorry that your Sister was insensitive enough to say something like that, especially in front of yu.
It reminds me of a phone call that I had with my mom yesterday. I've changed my lifestyle and been exercising and watching what I eat, whereas my mom has just been on a "diet".
She called me up yesterday and asked how much I'd lost, so I told her I've only lost a pound so far. I figured it's a start. Mom turned round and said "Oh, is that all? I've lost 3 pounds this week" It really upset me, because I figured we could support each other during this whole change. I bit back what I wanted to say to her, but by the time I put the phone down, I was almost in tears.
Some people don't realize that what they say so carelessly can really hurt other people's feelings, and for someone like me who's been trying so hard, it really knocked me down.
I hope that your sister didn't mean it to sound cruel. I think she's in denial of the fact that she's put some weight on, because there's a BIG difference between 267lbs and 253lbs. Ignore her hon. It's not worth letting her words get to you. Yesterday I was upset with my mom. Today, I'm more determined than ever to get fit.
1 person likes this
@sjohnson628 (3197)
• United States
18 Jun 07
That was cold of your sister to say that too you. Maybe you should get a picture of the two of you standing together and let her see how she really looks! And I think that is great that you lost a few pounds! I would of been hurt also I am overweight myself and wish I could lose about 25 pounds. I hate seeing my self in pictures. I have been doing a lot of walking lately and I lost 6 pounds though you can't notice it much I know when I step on the scale.
1 person likes this
@sjohnson628 (3197)
• United States
18 Jun 07
I would really recommend it. It does help but my problem is I don't want to walk in public where anyone can see me LOL go figure? So what I do is walk up and down my driveway 20 times (it's a tenth of a mile long) and that makes 2 miles a day. Also on the days when I mow the lawn I don't do my walking because that in itself is enough walking for me. Good Luck with it.
@Sherry12 (2472)
• United States
18 Jun 07
I think she was probably embarassed because her husband was right there. I doubt she meant to hurt you. Though it would be hurtful, so I certainly understand why it upset you. I've gained so much weight in the last year, I'm afraid to get on a scales.
1 person likes this
@1mindonly (30)
• United States
20 Jun 07
you guys should consiter losing some weight for your health you don't want to have medical problems when you hit 50 it gets worse so whille you are wathcing tv excersise
@loverenth (136)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
Some people are sensitive when it comes to weight issues. Perhaps your sister felt embarrassed by the fact that you weighed less than her, she made that comment to somehow get back at you or to make herself feel better. It's nothing but defense mechanism.
@sugarfloss (2139)
• Malaysia
20 Jun 07
you shouldn't get upset.after living for 22 years with an older sister, I realize they do get on your nerves. tell her how u feel one day, when the time is right. I told her how I felt and she cried. now she's married and living elsewhere. i miss the times when we use to quarrel over petty things. but she never forgets to text me and tell me how much she misses the family, especially me.hope this helps;)
1 person likes this
@ipsa1983 (10)
• Australia
21 Jun 07
Hey come on its fine it might be out of her frustration and may be i should not say that out of her jelousness. Dnt mind her after all she is ur sister u knw the best friend in ther world ur sister u r lucky to have a sister. I understand u and ur situation but u knw wht people can she it very well who is fat and who is think ok u dnt prove every1 with the help of weighing machine i hope u understand wht i mean she said those words alrite does that make u fat no rite??? just try on lossingur weight the changes are always visible k so dnt mind and continou with ur figure shaping ok.
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
18 Jun 07
Some people say the studipest things including family. I am sure she was just mad at herself and since you didn't say the scale was broken she had to take her weight gain out on someone. It was a very hurtful thing she said and she probably doesn't even realize it. I am sure she only got the scale out to embarass you and instead embarassed herself. Be proud of yourself for having lost what you have and don't worry about what she said. You are a good person and if she wants to be a nasty one then let her be. I would be celebrating you lost a few pounds as you said so that is great!! Forget about your sister and be happy!! Good job on the weight loss it is not easy to do!!
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
18 Jun 07
My sister is the same way. If I lose weight, she will go on a diet until she is smaller than me. She is 5'10 and I am 5'7. When I had my son I went on a diet. I went from 335 to 203. My sister got mad because I lost over 100 lbs. She only stopped being mad when I gained some of it back. Today I weigh in at 265 and my sister is around 270. It makes her so mad. She refuses to believe that since she is taller, she can weigh more than me and still wear clothes that are smaller than mine. She insists that the scales are wrong.
I have a friend that is 5'2 and we wear the same size clothes. She has to have hers altered to fit her shorter body, but we still wear the same size. I weigh more than her. She has commented on the fact that she doesn't see how we can wear the same size and yet she weighs less than I do. I told her that I am 5 inches taller, I can weigh more than her and wear the same size. She gets it so why can't my sister.
I will pray for you. It seems like you have a sister just like mine. Always in competition with you.
1 person likes this
@nemesis089 (4)
• Hungary
18 Jun 07
I said exactly the same to my sister... and i had a bad feeling after that..
@Cassy1976 (796)
• Australia
18 Jun 07
That was a bit rude of your sister, she could have at least waited until you left to say it! I guess the truth can really hurt some people cant it! Yes sadly my sister would say something like this just to hurt me!
1 person likes this
