Love versus Pity

Yes, and its ended up to nothing, i have this friend and courted me that was long time ago, and we became boyfriend and girlfriend, but the relationship actually didnt last long, i ended it up soon because its hard to pretend, and it came to the point that i hate to see him and hate to beside him all the time, so in order for us not to suffer both i decided it to quit, and i honestly tell him the truth why i decided to accept him as my boyfriend he get hurt actually and we end up as an enemy.

I think love is a purely subjective feeling. It means different things to all of us. Having said that, I think that some people have to pity someone in order to love them. They need that feeling of superiority (perhaps?). I think it runs along the same lines as people who always seem to get into relationships with people who physically abuse them. It just seems right to them (I can't imagine why).

If you pity someone, you are thinking that they lack something,weather it is a physical, mental,or emotional attribute, they are lacking.And to love some one because they lack an attribute just doesn't make sense. If some one were lacking something like an arm, yes I would feel a bit sorry for them but if it was a big problem with them I would try to help them help them selves to learn to deal with the situation, My telling them I loved them because they lacked an arm is just ludicrous. If we can help the person help them selves we would be a far better person than someone who says I love you because you have this problem. To me that is sort of like throwing gasoline on a fire, you will both get hurt badly. Please note I said twice at least Help the person Help themselves, and not just help the person. There is a huge difference, and needs to be distinguished.

If you ever want to see that in action on film, watch Doris Day in "Love Me or Leave Me" with James Cagney. She plays a singer named Ruth Etting who was married to a mobster named Mitch Snyder; She was reported as saying that she married him out of 90%pity and 10%love if I am not mistaken on the quote.And this is a true story that happened back around the 1920s. I feel like this, If you barely can tolerate a person enough that you cannot see yourself marrying them, then don't. People are made to be loved and not pitied. When she married this man, she blocked the way for someone else who could be of better use to him to love him, thereby causing pain.

Pity & love never go together, long time not seen, thank u for provding the picture, you are so considerate.

I came to that point that I have been holding on with him because of pity or sympathy. But pity is way too different from love. And holding on because of it doesn't really make your partner happy, even you. Knowing that you don't love your partner anymore and that you are only staying because you pity him or her. I couldn't take it anymore so I really broke up with him. I can't seem to stand lying to him that I still love him, and its not making me happy anymore.. even with him. Both of us feels pain, so to save us from that, we'd have to break apart.

Well, I think that is really sad if you force yourself to love someone because you pity them. That is not love at all. So, I don't think I would ever want to do that or have done so before either.

No I don't believe that one can fall in love with someone they pity . You have to be able to understand the person and be able to rely on them in life to be able to fall in love with them . You can care for someone and feel sorry for them and want to help them out but until you can look at them and not feel sorry for them then I don't believe that you could fall in love with them . Love is about sharing and caring but not about pity !!

I don't see how I could relate these feelings. And I think that if one loves another only because there is pity involved, that love will be so shallow that it won't last long. Cheers, sweetie!