When You Miss Someone
@ScarletAlston (2693)
United States
June 21, 2007 12:34pm CST
My friends here in MyLot know that I talk about my boyfriend a lot.
They know how much I love him and how happy I am to have him in my life..they also know about how he gets into a lot of trouble..last week, he went to jail. I found out about his charges and just what he did and knew that he would be gone for a while..a long while..when I went to see him, I couldn't touch him or anything. I had to talk to him through glass and we both tried our best to comfort each other. I can't visit him on all his visiting days and really don't have that type of time in my day to sit and write letters.My question is..what do you do when you miss someone so much that it hurts?
3 people like this
10 responses
@bluegem (174)
• Dominican Republic
21 Jun 07
Hey, I understand how you must be feeling right now. I encourage you to be strong. Try to reminisce about the good times that you had. Instead of thinking so much about the present situation, focus on the good memories as well as good things to come. The pain wont go away that easily but at least it may become less unbearable. Another way of forgetting your troubles is to get occupied by helping other ppl. When I come on MYLOT and see people with so many problems that are worse than mine, I just reach out in whatever way I can. At the end, I usually feel better as I am no longer fixated on my problem. I wish you all the best. My prayers are with you!
@ScarletAlston (2693)
• United States
21 Jun 07
I really appreciate your response..I thought about some of the things he would say while I was just sitting around and I realized that the memories that we made over the past years will get me through this..I will go see him this weekend and feel so much better once all this is over..
@scottmitchell (32)
• United States
2 Feb 12
Yes, it's best to just forget and avoid the pride impact of trying to work on something to make it better. Who ever said love should last forever anyway?
@scottmitchell (32)
• United States
2 Feb 12
...and after so many times it will just become a normal thing. Love them and let them go. It's the trend
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
24 Jun 07
Since he is in jail then you can make time to write letters and accept his calls from jail but dont let ya bill run to high though budget with that unles you got it like that.Like you say visit and just be there for him.I wish you luck girl.Hopefully time will fly.Take care
@ScarletAlston (2693)
• United States
27 Jun 07
well see..here's the problem..the cash that was supposed to be for switching the phone service over so I can get collect calls was stolen from his apartment the day he was arrested..so there will be no calls unless he does the 3-way thing on is mama's phone..he's done that a few times..so much drama has happened since he has been gone to the point where each envelope I send him has like 4-5 letters in it..he doesn't go to court until aug. 14 but was rather cheerful the last time I spoke to him saying he might be out sooner than we think..stuck here on that detention bracelet thing..I don't know..its messed up..the person who got him locked up lives right across the hall..I can literally reach out my door and touch theirs...
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
5 Jul 07
Gosh on house arrest.I hope things gets better and maybe he will be out sooner.Just stay out of trouble and hope he doesnt f*ck with the neighbor that had him arrested or he will be right back in there.
@littlefranciscan (18327)
• United States
7 Jul 07
I would say if you love someone so much as it hurts the best thing to do is keep up the communications.. Love doesn't die and walls can't keep you from loving him..Perhaps your love will keep his hope alive and make him change for the better;)+
@ScarletAlston (2693)
• United States
23 Jul 07
good advice...I visit him as much as I can now...I hate to say it, but we seem to communicate better now that he is where he is...I learned things about him that I didn't even know...we talked about him behaving when he comes home and I just hope he really means what he says...
@ladysurvivor (4746)
• Malaysia
23 Jul 07
I will try to occupy myself with work so that my mind would not think about missing him too much. I will also go and find a friend to whom I can chat with, so that the feeling will be distracted for a while. At night, when the feeling was so intense, I would read a good book so that I would not just think and think about him. At times, when the feeling is no longer tolerable, I will take out his picture and look deeply. If you want to cry, let it out, it's okay if you cry. You will feel much relieved after that, and you can move forward to face the world. good luck my friend, and have a nice day.
@ScarletAlston (2693)
• United States
23 Jul 07
thats also very good advice...I can do just about everything you suggested except cry...whenever I go see him, I end up almost crying when I have to leave him..but he told me not to cry..to just do what I have to do..thats exactly what I've been doing since he's been gone..I know that everything will be just fine
@ScarletAlston (2693)
• United States
21 Jun 07
well I looked at the pictures and that made it worse..I wrote half a letter and realized that I really didn't have anything to say other than the fact that I miss him..I listened to music we both like and it helped a little bit..we have memories, just a bunch of things that happened that might've led up to him getting in trouble..I don't know..I just miss him and it bothers me that I can't talk to him..
@pallidyne (858)
• United States
21 Jun 07
You simply do.... I was in a different situation-- my significant other did a semester at sea, on board a ship. No email, no phone, nada cept the occasional letter for almost 5 months. All I can say is, I missed her, went a lil nutz, threw myself into work and generally was unpleasant to deal with til she came home.
@ScarletAlston (2693)
• United States
21 Jun 07
yeah that was pretty much the plan...get involved in other stuff and just be a difficult person to deal with..I even had exes that found out about it try to get in touch with me since this happened..they know not to bother me now..
@saralee1 (1983)
• United States
30 Jun 07
I had a boyfriend in the same situation when I was younger. Unfortunately, he was always getting into trouble, but I was there for him.We wrote each other everyday. I can't stand writing either, but I understood there wasn't a lot to do in jail, besides write.
We were together for three years before we broke up.I was the best girlfriend that guy would have ever had, and he screwed it up.He knew it too. Lucky for me there are plenty of fish in the sea who don't all screw up.
@austere (2812)
• Philippines
22 Jun 07
i just think of him. think of him till my mind stops thinking. and am fe d of it.hehehe honestly, i just think of the happy memories that we have shared. that would be happy enough to last me till the nest attack of missing him back!hehe
@lovelydame3000 (1577)
• India
20 Sep 07
Hi ScarleAlson! I have a Boyfriend too and he lives 168 kms away from me. So we normally meetup only on Holidays and weekends. When he is near me time flies off fast and when he is not near i keeps moving on a snails pace. We are regularly on touch through phone or mails and at work i am too busy and have no time to even miss me,lol.
@raman_ant (50)
• India
22 Jun 07
if i miss someone that is my girl friend. i love her very much.Be in office that is quite painful to me coz ialways miss her. each second feel me hours.
