Does apologizing come easily to you?
By shemah
@shemah (840)
Malaysia
June 22, 2007 4:31am CST
Be it with your parents, lover, siblings, friends.. in all your relationships, when you hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally, do you apologize straight away.. Or do you feel bad but can't bring yourself to say sorry??
As for me, I believe apologizing comes quite easily to me. Someone told me that when someone apologizes easily, they don't really mean it. But i don't agree. Because if I know I caused other people hurt, I do apologize sincerely and readily.
So, do share your views with me on this matter.. Thanks guys!
5 people like this
36 responses
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
22 Jun 07
I don't think it's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I have a strong character, and a strong temper, so sometimes i can be a bit difficult to deal with, but if you make me see that i am wrong, or if i realize that myself, i will automatically apologize.
I believe that it's silly to keep your pride over anything else and refuse to solve a situation that could be fixed just by saying sorry. That's why people who never say sorry really make no sense to me...After all, wether they believe it or not, we are all wrong sooner or later.
2 people like this
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
22 Jun 07
glad you're happy that we agreed hon :)
@jade1986 (563)
• India
22 Jun 07
Hi shemah,
I think there is no point apologizing when you intentionally hurt anyone. Apology should be made only when you hurt someone unintentionally or do anything wrong by mistake. If you do it intentionally, then you are not worth a forgiveness. I can say sorry to anyone anytime, if i am wrong. And again, i must know why am i wrong. Unless you know the reason why you are saying sorry, you shouldnt say sorry. And whenever you say sorry, you must say it from the heart. That's the best way to reduce all bitter feelings and grudges...Keep posting...
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 07
When I hurt someone intentionally, out of anger during an argument, and you know what you're saying is going to hurt them but u say it anyway.. then after you calm down, you realized how wrong you were, yes, i do apologize for that. It's up to THAT person to say whether I am worth forgiving or not.
But i do agree with you that when you say sorry, it must come from the heart. And it REALLY does reduce bitter feelings and grudges. :) Thanks for the response, jade! I really appreciate it!
2 people like this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
22 Jun 07
for it to mean anything it has to come from the heart, and only you know when this is the case
blessed be
2 people like this
@TwistedElegance (7)
• United States
22 Jun 07
People who throw out apologies like candy, when you can tell they aren't heartfelt or they don't understand they've done something wrong or hurtful, always baffled me. :-/
If you've hurt someone intentionally, after some reflection and time, it is possible to extend a heartfelt apology, though. If you're willing to open your mind and your heart to see the error of your ways.
1 person likes this
@pinks0da (328)
• Philippines
22 Jun 07
I must admit that it was hard for me to apologize and admit my mistakes before as I was a person with high pride. But as I grew mature and able to understand that apologizing doesn't mean that a person is coward. And it's important to examine oneself and accept the fact that no matter how rightful we think we are, we still commit lapses that hurts other people and for that we have to learn to apologize sincerely. So now, apologizing comes real easy to me and my pride doesn't interfere at all.
2 people like this
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 07
Hi pinks0da!
I totally agree with you on everything you said. You took the words out of my mouth! Haha.. But really, it doesn't only make us feel better for trying to undo the hurt that we made, but it also makes the other person feel better too! And for me, that's whats important..
1 person likes this
@mightycrumbgirl (380)
•
22 Jun 07
That's a good question... I think that 'sorry' can be one of the easiest words to say in some situations... if you bump into someone on the street, or if you step on someone's toe, then 'sorry' is usually the word that just pops out of your mouth automatically.
However, sorry is much harder to say when you really need to mean it. If you've hurt someone's feelings, especially someone you love, friends or family, then it's sometimes hard to bring yourself to apologize. I think a lot of it is about pride, maybe not wanting to admit that we were wrong and that our actions caused others pain. When it's most important, sorry is one of the hardest words to say.
2 people like this
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 07
That's true. It is harder with your loved ones.. But i really try to push my pride out of the way even if it hurts, because knowing that I may have hurt someone I love just as much and risk losing them, isn't worth all that "pride". Thanks for your views on this one!
2 people like this
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 07
It varies for me.. Sometimes it does come easily, like if I accidentally stepped on someone's toe or something. :P But in some major instances, there are times when I can get pretty righteous, and a sincere apology might be hard for me to do. Especially when I have an argument with my boyfriend, I say sorry all the time but it just means "I'd rather not fight" than actually meaning "I'm sincerely sorry for hurting your feelings".. You know what I mean? I don't know about most people, but for me most of the time saying sorry always follows by other justifications. And that doesn't really constitute a sincere apology does it?? So basically, I can easily say sorry, but I might not mean it sometimes.
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 07
Yup! Yup! SO true... Only say it when you mean it.. Thanks.. ;D
1 person likes this
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 07
Hmm... yeah, i get what you're trying to say. Sometimes, people do say sorry to avoid conflicts. Like before a huge fight that my husband senses is coming, he'll readily say sorry.
I think when you haven't had time to think about your actions in whole, and blurt out I'm sorry, during or shortly after the argument, most of the time you don't tend to mean it. So, next time when you argue, just don't say sorry at all.. until you're ready to mean it. :)
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
22 Jun 07
i appologise in two ways. I appologise when i know ive done something that has hurt someone. I find this easy to do. However, i will often appologise just to keep the peace, i do it with insincerity and find it hard but sometimes it is the better way
blessed be
1 person likes this
@billabadmash (1011)
• Pakistan
22 Jun 07
Yeah It is easy as if am wrong and i need to do some apologizing stuff i wont take much time to do it but if i am not wrong and i have to do that thing then its really hard :) like lifting a mountain on my own :)
@roniroxas (10559)
• Philippines
22 Jun 07
it is a nice gesture if a person could easily say im sorry. i too is like you i easily say sorry, and if someone say sorry to me then i easily forgive and forget. but sometimes it depends on the situation. if the pain that ive caused is too much, i say sorry then let the person or give the person time for the hurt to subside. if the hurting is over then i will tell i am sorry again, just to prove the sorry is honest.
1 person likes this
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 07
Yes.. i understand your point. I too believe that when you sincerely apologize, it is with the knowledge that the person who's been hurt, may not forgive you. I would apologize time and time again even if the person does not forgive me just, because like you, i need to prove to them that i really mean it. Thanks for sharing!
1 person likes this
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
23 Jun 07
Sure,
Such as I'm sorry I haven't been as active inside your discussions. I had focused on trying to keep busy but I missed people off :)
I'm here now.
~Joey
@kumar27 (129)
• India
22 Jun 07
to those people to whome apologizing come easily - there are two types....one is just for apolzy,.they cut it short mere perfuinuctoryly without hardy from heart but just one has to apologize. second who do it from heart just to avoid compunction.
and those who delay they too do it from heart after lots of thought and fighting with self.
and other do it delaying by until they get prompted to do so by themselves or outside force.
above a person of conscience is always, never forgets to apologize,whenfauty to other.
@michael_harvard1010 (262)
• Philippines
25 Jun 07
some times because were just a human and we often regret to or we are shy to apoligize to those people weve done mistakes....
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 07
Hi shadjee! Thanks alot.. A gesture would mean alot too.. to the people that you hurt. Personally, if a person wrote me a letter/sent me a card to say how sorry they are, i would really really appreciate it. Because sometimes, just saying sorry is just not enough.. A little effort goes to show how much they mean to you. Nice going! :)
1 person likes this
@Gwapako_28 (2140)
• Philippines
23 Jun 07
Same here.I guess,its not hard to apologize if you are not mean to hurt anybody....Its easy too when that person is important to you...But when i know that i am doing right,nah,i wont apologize even i hurt him/her much...
@Bshivakumarchary (122)
• India
23 Jun 07
I never intentionally hurt anyone but unintentionally it may happened.Then I sincerely apologize without ego.When you apologize then the enimity turns into friendship and the friendship becomes more stronger.But I fear to ask for apologize with my parents.
@bettyrose20 (997)
• Philippines
23 Jun 07
sometimes, my high pride comes in the way when i want to apologize at somebody...but i learned to eat my pride for the sake of love..so now, if i think im the wrong one, i make it a point to apologize
@federickp (607)
• India
23 Jun 07
whether apologizing comes easily from me is a matter of truthfulness, i mean if i think i am really responsible for whateer happened, if i really think that it was my mistake, and because of me someone was hurt, then i bow even infront of children younger than me. I do not say sorry or apologize if i think it wasnt my mistake. ANd i think that forms a part of my principles. When ever i say sorry i mean it. But i readily say sorry, when i want to say, no shame in saying sorry if you have really done something wrong.
