The Gift of Time
By Daddio
@Daddio (9)
United States
October 24, 2006 11:00am CST
The majority of parents consider their children as the important things in their lives. So why are we having such a hard time finding quality time to spend with them?
I recently read a report that parents are actually spending more time with their children as compared to fifty years ago. Mothers spend an average of 13 hour a week with their kids. Fathers spend an average of 6 hours a week with their children. I think that those numbers could be significantly increased with a little effort on our part, as parents.
In today's busy world, parents are torn between work, running a household and raising their children. There are a multitude of other things that take away little chunks of our day as well. Long commutes, grocery shopping, balancing the checkbook, are just of few of these other things, I'm sure you could think of a few more off the top of your head. The problem is that these things take precious time away from our family life. It can be very difficult to find the time, and energy, at the end of a busy day to dedicate quality time to the kids. It is far too convenient to let the television entertain the children so you can get some stuff done around the house.
As parents, we have the biggest impact on our children's lives. Our kids look to us for everything and then some, especially when they are young. Setting aside time for your kids can be the single most important thing you can do to raise healthy, happy kids.
You may think it is impossible to do this every day, but there are some small things you can do which will make a big difference in your children's lives. First get them away from the television, then, include them in whatever you are doing, even in a small way. With a little planning, you will still be able to get your tasks accomplished and spend some time with the kids at the same time.
What I like to do is to ask them to help me do something important for work. On occasion I need to bring some work home with me, so I plan ahead and prepare a series of assignments for my kids to help me with. Sometimes they are math questions and sometimes they are drawings and it's mostly borrowed from the school curriculum. I ask the teachers at their school for some advanced lesson material and they are more than happy to help out. I tell my kids that they could really help Dad if they worked on these assignments that I need for work. They are usually more than happy to help me get my work done. There are multiple benefits of this approach. The kids really get into it and have a lot of fun, all the while helping their education. I get some time to get my work finished and spend time with them at the same time (I let them work right along side me). I make sure to thank them for helping me get my work done and make a big deal out of the great work they do. The actually look forward to helping me finish my homework.
This is an example of how I include my children into my schedule when I really don't have time. This technique can be easily incorporated into a variety of different daily tasks and can be modified for children of all ages. As your planning your day, think about ways to include your children into your schedule in ways you haven't before. It makes a huge difference to your kids and it will be fun for you too.
The best gift you can give your child is you.
4 people like this
10 responses
@DinaDi (60)
• United States
24 Oct 06
I agree with you 100%! I was a stay-at-home mom while my children were young. I enjoyed every minute that I spent with them. I believed that housework, shopping, balancing checkbook, etc. will always be there for me to do, but spending those precious moments with the kids was always something I loved to do and I did it, not because it was expected of me or I "had" to, but because I wanted to.
Those early formative years are so important in their development and learning skills. It's so important to include the kids in your day-to-day activities. But I also believe that kids have their place, too. In other words, there are those times when we need our own "quiet" time, too, and the children should understand and respect this.
Now - I babysit for my grandchildren when I'm asked, and always, always include them in whatever I'm doing. And they also understand when it's "my" time to do what I enjoy doing - even though they sometimes want to do it with me!!
@catwoman1459 (2971)
• United States
24 Oct 06
Yes i agree, I stay home too. I still do even thou my kids are getting older. Teens need you too, maybe even more. Parents need to stay intouch with they teens. And for the parents that have to work fulltime, Remember its not how much time you spend with them its what you do with the time .
@dellion (6698)
• Malaysia
24 Oct 06
Firstly thanks for sharing the entire reports:)For my case I shift from my paying jobs to be homebased 2 years ago as I wish to spent more of my time together with my family and this year my elder son was already 4 years old and the baby was 6 months. I am glad that I can always with them and at the same times make my living:)
@OliveOil (83)
• Singapore
24 Oct 06
Thanks for sharing your insights on parenting. Agree that the best gift for children is time with them and including children in our daily tasks is a great way for bonding. Sadly, many children nowadays grow up with an 'absent' parents. When the children turn wayward, it's often too late for parents to rebuild the relationship.
@sunrisekn (1466)
• United States
24 Oct 06
You are 100% correct. My husband and I waited a long time to finally get pregnant. We had already decided that I would quit my job after the baby was born. I have quit and I stay at home with my son. Trust me, it is not easy to live on one paycheck when you're used to having 2, but this is a commitment we made together and our child and we do not want to raise a rude, obnoxious, disrespectful child. It starts at home.
@srhelmer (7029)
• Beaver Dam, Wisconsin
24 Oct 06
Both of us work, but my wife only works evenings so she's able to spend all day with our daughter.
Since there's a gap in between our shifts, she goes to my parents for a couple of hours and I always try to spend a few minutes with her before bed time and then spend all weekend playing with her.
@themyl (1423)
• United States
4 Nov 06
We played at our daughter's wedding about two weeks ago. Most of our relatives were there and the groom's as well.
I am a musician and taught our kids to play as well. We have a group, but now our group is TWO groups. The kids have started their own rock group, so we play our original music and they play for about a couple of hours as well.
That night a cousin of mine came up to us and said he didn't know that the rock group, our kids, were our KIDS! He was totally impressed with our son, the drummer, but especially with our 9 year old son who also plays the drums.
What REALLY touched me was what he told me. HE SAID "I LOVE TO PLAY THE DRUMS, BUT MY FATHER 'NEVER' TAUGHT ME".
You see his dad, my uncle, really never made the time to spend with his kids.
Thank God we have always tried to spend Quality time with them, from buying the instruments they were each interesting in playing, to teaching them how to play.
We are VERY PROUD OF OUR KIDS!
Sorry if my response was kind of long, but I couldn't make it any shorter.
I guess I'm JUST LIKE YOU.
@MrsFrizzle (1963)
• United States
24 Oct 06
If money was not as important as it has become people would find time. Now days everything is so much money it even costs a lot of money to just get gass. I wish it was not the case I miss the days when parents stayed home with their children. I want to but who can do that and still afford there bills. Even if you live modestly.
@nancygibson (3736)
• France
24 Oct 06
I think if people werent so materialistic they would be happy working less hours so they could be at home with the family
@sbeauty (5865)
• United States
24 Oct 06
Our time is the biggest thing we can give in any relationship. It's so easy to make excuses of being too busy for our children, but if we want it badly enough, we can find the time. From the time my 1st child was born, I made a point of spending as much time doing as many things with her as I could. I read to her every night from the time she was 6 months old. We never got a babysitter but took her with us everywhere we went. She learned a lot from going places with us like the grocery store, and we got to spend more time with her than if we'd left her with the babysitter after work until we got the shopping done. It was even harder finding the time after my 2nd child was born, but I still made every effort. Now that they're grown, I only regret that I didn't have even more time to spend with them when they were small.