JUDGMENTS--What is Your View of Them--How Have They Helped/Harmed You?

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Judgment is a tricky thing to pin down because people have many opinions about it and the reason I wanted it open for discussion. One thing I do know for sure is that people who judge others view things with a narrow lens. They see everything as THEY ARE...rather than the WAY THINGS ARE. People who claim to be non-judgmental are rather deluded. We have to make judgments every day in every way. Every thought we think has some form of judgment to it. To say 'it is a beautiful day' is a pesonal judgment. What if the person you say it to is sad, depressed, lonely...it probably doesn't feel like a beautiful day to them. Each time we evaluate anyone or anything...we are making a judgement. So in reality the only way to avoid judgments would be to refrain from thinking any thought...and that is ridiculous. So this topic needs to put in context of reasoning judgements versus harmful judgements of others. Another interesting observation is how blind judgmental people are to the reality that their opinions and perceptions rarely alter anything or anyone in and of themselves. Just because we judge someone does not necessarily do anything to change them...that choice is theirs to make. People are defined by his or her thoughts, words, behaviors and beliefs...not by the judgments of others. (Unless they buy into it, of course.) Another thing 'judgers' overlook is how their judgments DEFINE THEM. Spouting off about cultural/racial differences, religious beliefs, gender, age, appearance and choices made revealing statements about whether they are respectful/bigoted, inconsiderate/caring, arrogant/accepting bullish/ gentle, egotistical/ honoring whether they own up to it or not. When I recognized this truism I was able to replace tendencies to judge... with greater acceptance. In my view acceptance is forgiveness in action. In closing I will share how I have learned to handle the judgments of others. If I am upset by their words then it is usually a clue that their comments have triggered something within me that is unfinished or needs attention. Other times I look at the source...and if they are not offering something constructive then I don't really care what they think and let it go. After all what matters more than anyone else's judgements is what we think about ourselves and whether WE respect the person looking back at us when making eye contact in the mirror each day. So my final comment on the topic of judgments is this---they can only harm us...if we let them. But that is only my perspective...what is yours?