should i be upset?

Hi Aretha~ welcome to my life, but multiply it by 4! Yes, I would be upset! Next time, show him how to do it, undo it and let him do it himself so he will have no excuses the next time that he can't do it. I go threw this with all of my kids ~ ages 7-18! I am a bit of a neat freak, and I feel that if something is used, it should be put away by the end of the night. I get the excuses from the older kids 'I'll do it later', 'I'll do it tomorrow, I'm gonna be late for work' ect. I have started to take the mess and put it in their rooms~ like if they didn't do their dishes and have left them in the sink, I take them out and put them in their room. Then on Saturdays they know they do nothing unless their rooms are clean so eventually they get it done. Good luck~ it seems like a never ending battle.

that sounds like my princess 5 yr old who feels she doesn't need to do anything! Yet she can certainly make a mess! Just keep at him, he will learn. You're teaching him responsibility. I wouldn't be mad, but that is just me.

prob. your hubby didn't realize what a struggle you have had over this issue? I know alot of times my hubby will do something, while i'm trying to teach my son a lesson, or get him to behave, or make a choice to do the right thing, and my hubby steps in, and is oblivious to the situation. I find what works best in these situations, is to discuss it with hubby afterwards. Tell him about your struggles over this issue, and ask for his help, in being consistent with the discipline in this area. Another thing you could have done, is say, yes daddy, that's how we do it, now son, it's your turn. And take it off the hanger and make him do it. SO he knows, that if he cries and carries on, pretending that he cannot do it, it won't matter, he'll have to do it in the long run anyways, and it would be better to just do it the first time. Also, it might help to keep your hubby on the same page as you too.. they often times are really just oblivious to the fact that we are trying to teach the kiddo something, and just think we're being difficult. (; Anyways, hope I helped. Also, I have heard that this technique works well, tell your son, "if you leave your things out, I will take them, anything that is not picked up w/in a 1/2 an hour goes into a bag, in my room for a week, after wich time you may have it back" He'll prob. pick his things up pretty quickly that way, because he knows he's going to want to play with his fav. toys tommorrow, and if he doesn't, then take his things for a week.. he'll get the message. Also, if it's a mess he's leaving in your house, I would simply say, if you do not start cleaning up after yourself, i will start revoking your privelages. (Ie, T.v., internent, going over to friends, etc) He should start cleaning up.. Good luck!

Well he certainly needs to pick up after himself- It is not good to let boys get away with that stuff- Your husband should know better also- How about chores? Does he have a list of chores to do around the house? Could be as simple as setting the dinner table- or clearing it when dinner is done- Teach him responsibility and maybe he will start picking up after himself. I would be super upset with your husband- to fall for that- sounds like he just didn’t want to hear him whine anymore!

I thionk what you feel is correct and it is a problem of every parent with now-a-day kids,but they need to be trained in a polite way and it take some time to learn all these because todays kids are very advanced and they want to be free with human values,what do yoiu think iam i correct in your discuission ?

Hi! I am going through the same things. My daughter has her lazy moment, does not want to pack away, does not pick up things he left or fell on the floor etc. etc. When she is in that type of mood I put my foot down, I give her punishment for being difficult. Her dad is a spoiler so when dad is acting the same as your husband I tell him to stop it. He is not helping his daughter to be a good person if he continuous to spoil her. To answer your question, yes you have every right to be. It is not an easy task to discipline a child who is acting that way. My advise be patient, be firm and tell your husband to stop being a spoiler.

If it were me I would be just as upset, as you are or were. You told your son to do something, and when the son started in a sense whining, the dad came along and did it for him. To me that's not teaching him anything, but if he don't want to do something, dad will come to the rescue. Once one parent has told a child to do something, the other parent should not contradict and/or interfere no matter how much the child is whining about it, unless it is truly visible that said child is having a hard time understanding the concept of what he/she was told to do. Your son is old enough now, I believe to know how to place a coat on a hanger, unless you really do have impossible hangers, but I have yet to see one that wasn't easy to get clothes on and off from. So, you have the right to be upset about this issue at hand. But seeing as it has already been done, nothing can change it, but the next time now that your son has been shown how to hang things, once told to hang something back up, let it be known that said husband will be sleeping on the couch if he interferes and does it again for the child.

yes, you should get upset and make it clear with your son that you are. otherwise, he might think it's ok. my 3-year old son does those things, too. and i show him when i get upset about it. sometimes it happens i'd tell him he won't eat dinner until he keeps all his toys in the toy-box, or that we won't eat and will wait for him to keep all his toys. . . .the only problem with that is it takes a longer time for him to keep his toys than to bring them out. you see, before he puts a toy in the box, he plays with them for a while! and it's a box full of toys!

I understand what you feel as a parent.But sometimes,we just cant let our kids what we really wanted them to do for the good attitude and learning process.But i guess,we need to understand since they are still a kid.Thats why it is not really easy to be a parent.It need patients and understanding.

Oh you have every right to be upset. You are trying to teach your son responsibility. Your husband doing it for him is teaching him right the opposite. What is probably making it worse is the fact that your son realizes that if he whines to daddy, daddy will give in. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. My daughter who is only 3 1/2 plays this trick with her father and I all the time. She knows I won't give in, so she don't try me. But as soon as daddy gets home its a whole different story. She will throw fits left and right because she knows her daddy doesn't like to hear her upset and will give in everytime. But what gets me is sometimes her tantrums will get on his nerves and he will make a comment about how bad she is with her temper. I just think to myself "Well I wonder why?". It is a struggle. I find myself always telling my husband that if he continues to give in to her, she will just get worse. She knows it will work with her daddy everytime so she uses it to her advantage. So when it comes to things like this both the parents have to be on the same page for it to work. Best of luck!

Ofcourse it will upset me.My seven year old also do the same things as your son.But when i ask her to pick things up shell do it .Sometimes when there are too many things to pick shell ask me to do it with her.

Well take a little more patient to your son, when he grew up a little he'll be more responsible anyway. At least from the start you're teaching him the proper way. My son is 5 1/2 now and you know what he still want me to feed him for food, but when im not in the house he can do it with his own. Maybe your son just want a little attention that's what children want.

I would be upset too. It's hard to be consistent with discipline when there's someone to contradict you. And with kids, sometimes if you give in, it becomes more difficult the next time around to get the message across.

I'd be pretty upset. I like to tell my nieces and nephews when they are here (my oldest is 4, so she is not quite ready for this) that if they mistreat my things, I will mistreat theirs. That means, if you knock it down/take it out/spill it etc etc take care of your mess or Auntie's gonna mess up your stuff.

It depends on what all he does really. In my house if I tell one of the children to do something, my husband backs me or vice versa. Your son is old enough to do things like put up a coat. If he has someone do everything for him he won't be taught how to take responsibility over his actions. He'll think what ever he does you guys as parents will correct it. This is even with a little coat. I make my children pick up after themselves and do chores just to be able to teach them rules and responsibility. Now they watch what they do knowing they will have to clean up the mess and mommy won't save them.

Your son could be anyone's child. This is very typical of any child in that age group. They are so consumed with themselves that it is very hard for them to see beyond that. All you can do is be consistent in asking him to put away his things. When he does, just give him a little praise for being a good listener. I always thanked my kids for that and I think it was that little bit of validation that keeps them focused.

Of course you should be upset. As a parent, it's good to discipline our children as early as even before 7..you were just right in teaching your son and explaining things to him, and really mean it lest he will grow up believing that he can just do things his way without being corrected. Prevention is better than cure, so what you did was a preventive measure so that he would understand that his behavior is not acceptable. Both you and your husband should be consisten on this...young as he is, he is still flexible, and can still be 'bent' or formed. Of course, you can explain these things to him during your 'quality' time together...times when you're not upset, and your son is in the mood to listen to you. It takes a loving heart to teach children values, courtesy and other basic values which you want to instill to him....

Just like me, I am always the bad guy and their dad is Mr. Nice Guy. Of course we are upset. For me, I talk to my husband and tell the consequences .... now we always stand in a line and we will talk to the children. Now they know that they can't just whin to get something out of it.

yes i sure would be and at the fact that daddy did it for him. my sister-n-law started a chart for my neice. when she did something good she got a sticker and when she didnt do what she was susposed to do she didnt get a sticker and she got something taken away from her. as in chores and picking up after herself. when she got a certain amount of stickers she got whatever was taken away from her givin back and something new baught for her. on the chart had good behavior and the chores she had to do as in keeping her room picked up to. maybe you should try this with him and see if it will work. good luck.

i think that but every one must be ame ur son and fathers