Do you have people who ask for your advice, only to do the opposite?
By saralee1
@saralee1 (1983)
United States
8 responses
@alokkarn (123)
• India
3 Jul 07
I have laughed it off. I do not give advice with condition tags. I give advice as well as complete freedom to reject my advice. I did what I could. I cant implement my advice. After all its the other person's life. And therefore decisions must be that person's. Tomorrow if that person again comes to me I would again give him my best advice. I cannot shirk from my duty of helping out someone who seeks my help.
1 person likes this
@saralee1 (1983)
• United States
3 Jul 07
Well, I guess that is just who you are. There are no condition tags when offering advice. however, you would hope that if you are giving a serious answer, they would be wise enough to listen. I guess it depends on the source, and how much they know. I don't give bad advice, that is a faulty policy. I give choices, and I talk about consequences.
@alokkarn (123)
• India
3 Jul 07
If you are so perturbed about giving advice which must be complied with, kindly first notify your advice seekers of this expectation of yours. If they agree, give them advice otherwise refuse to give them advice. Don't think that you are smarter or more intelligent that others. May be the person who ignored your advice is smarter and more intelligent. No one can claim superiority unless one is arrogant, ignorant and immature. Great people are humble and mean people can be anything but Humble. They suffer from a fasle sense of bloated self ego and self pride. Please do not take this as meant to hurt any one. I am just being honest. Please forgive me if I am wrong. If you consider all this as nonsense throw these words into the dustbin. I would be only too happy if you could take the trouble of going through what i sincerely wish to share with you.
@saierchok (1294)
• United States
2 Jul 07
well, it rarely happened to me, because most of the people who ask for my advice trust me so much and know that I'm giving them the right words..
once it happened that a guy showed up and asked for my advice infront of my friends and did the opposite to ( disrespect or embarrase) me!! the thing is that he got into troubles for not hearing my advice.. so he got what he deserved..
1 person likes this
@saralee1 (1983)
• United States
2 Jul 07
I find it most annoying when someone asks for my advice, and I have given it serious thought, gave my opinion on the situation, and they find out later you were right.
I usually won't give advice the second time, it happens. I tell them to call someone who cares. cruel, but I don't like getting blown off.
1 person likes this
@saierchok (1294)
• United States
3 Jul 07
that's exactly what I would do... never give an advice again to those who do not appreciate it!! it's a loss of value!!!
1 person likes this
@eaforeman6 (8979)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Yes, many people already have their minds made up. I think they do want to hear opinions but they tend to lean in the direction they want to go in. I am speaking in the majority sense here.
@theproperator (2429)
• United States
2 Jul 07
All the time, but it doesn't really bothor me. After all, it is their life and their descision. What I would do in a situation is quite different thatn what others might do, for many reasons. You don't alway get the whole story when someone asks for advice. So, I try not to take it personally if my advice is ignored.
1 person likes this
@saralee1 (1983)
• United States
2 Jul 07
I try not to give advice until I know the whole story. for instance, a friend I know found out her husband was married to a second lady. I invited both of them over, and had a serious talk with them, to get his side.
in this case, he was obviously wrong, on many levels.
@twils2 (1812)
• United States
3 Jul 07
Hi Saralee, its happened to me a few times. I dont worry about it to much, its their life and they are the ones thats going to have to live with the outcome. To me, when someone is asking for advice, they are asking for an opinion on what to do. They may ask a few people and then do what one says or a combination of what others have said. I certainly hope that when one asks me for advice, they dont feel they absolutely have to do what I say. I'm not perfect either. On the other hand, when it all goes wrong I get a chance to say I told you so too (not that would actually ever say that lol). Take care, Terry
@jenius (131)
• United States
2 Jul 07
I have had that happen that too. I don't let it bother me or take it personally. They are basically asking for an opinion and for one reason or another may not agree with yours. When I need advice I may ask several people who will have different approaches to the same problem. Then I weigh them in my mind and decide which if any I may follow. Sometimes I choose not to follow any of them. If someone asks your advice it is most likely because they value your opinion and trust you but that is no guarantee they will do as you suggest.
@moneycradle (115)
• India
3 Jul 07
I think that the only reason why people ask for advices is just to reassure themselves that there are people who would like to talk to them in turbulent situations. they really donot care about your advice or even following it. They just want to hear something soothing.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
3 Jul 07
Hello saralee1,
It happened to me once. The girl was so desperate, asking for everyone's advice including me. She told the whole story over and over, and asked whether we could help her to find the solution. It was a pathetic story and after listening to it, I knew that she was at the wrong side and advised her to do the right. But she kept doing the opposite and even have the heart to tell us that we were wrong in asking her to do that!
