shrink? or friend?
By diannebcrs
@diannebcrs (1549)
Philippines
July 4, 2007 2:45pm CST
if you have a major problem, whom would you rather talk to? a shrink or a friend?
i read a blogger post that if you got real friends, you don't need a shrink. i find more comfort in friends but i guess if i'm in a manic depression state or if i'm close to really losing it, i wouldn't want my friends to see me or to know what i'm going thru so i think i'd rather talk to a shrink about it. how about you? whom would you rather deal these huge problems with?
6 people like this
11 responses
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
4 Jul 07
sometimes a shrink can give you meds or have you take a physical to see if the problem is physical or mental..anyone who tries to doctor themselves has a fool for a doctor..and friends can be good at times..but friends can't prescribe medication for serious demons of the mind..depression? sleeping disorder? these psychological disorder of abnormal human behavior can sometimes call for someone who is trained to treat your problem.
My first Psychologist was from the Philippines and he was OK but I learned more from his receptionist (his Filipina wife) and she told me about the Philippies and Filipina women..so I ended up marrying a Filipina and that was 22 years ago..and my wife's first job as a NANNY was with a female Doctor in the Philippines who is a Psychologist..and now that baby (Teddy BOY) is now a Doctor of Psychology and lives with his mother in Forbes Park, Manila..my wife still stays with them when she goes to the Philippines and they still call her MISS..lol
true story
@diannebcrs (1549)
• Philippines
5 Jul 07
yeah, you got a point there about taking medications and even friends' best advices won't be able to help for more serious disorders. wow, really? that's and interesting story you got there about how you had a really happy ending by going to see your shrink. and say hi to your wife and teddy boy for me :)
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
6 Jul 07
first of all i don't have that many friend. the friend i do have are worse off then i am. friends will not be as objective in tresting an illness..my family has a history of mental disorder. i thought this was normal growing up and i did not know the difference until i went to college and took up psychology and studied the normal and admoralities of the human mind.
we were taught at an early age not to do business with friends or relatives. theme was drummed in our heads..also you can pick your friends but not your family..etc etc
I have had success with some doctors yet utter failure with other doctors. There is good in bad in all professons. Sometimes you have to be your own best friend and pick a person you trust..that is not easy as even a spouse or loeved one is to close to the forest to see the trees..."yeah, your ok honey..all you need is a little nap"
I had an Uncle who hung himself as he would not tell his family that he suffered from depression. He was 65 years old and was in good health physically but he was a loner and he had no trouble with his wife..She could not understand why he just took his life..maybe if he would have talked to a professional and was treated in time he would not have listened to the voices in his head..Friends and relatives really do not want to listen to your problems as they have problems of their own and are not equipted to deal with abnoralities of the mind.
I am now a CNA and training for a LP at the age of 62. This is the worst country in the world for treating the problems of the aged as we just put them in a nursing home and forget about them. I do respite work. Home care. This is growing as more people would rather live at home then in a nursing home. When people go to a nursing home the friends and relatives stop visiting after awhile..it is sad
2 people like this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
5 Jul 07
There have been times in my life when I've need both!
Talking to friends can be really helpful, and often more comfortable than going to see a professional. However, sometimes your friends just aren't equipped to handle the situation, no matter how much they want to help. And sometimes depending too much on friends in your time of need turns into a strain on the relationship, which in turn makes you feel worse.
Right now I'm relying on my friends rather than a shrink, because the issues that I'm going through are mostly things that are easy to understand, and that I can also use actual aid with (financial and health issues). However, as soon as it gets to the point where I feel I'm not dealing well enough, or my friends feel that's the case, I'll be off to the shrink. Thankfully I have friends who will also tell me when I need to go see a shrink, so that helps!
2 people like this
@diannebcrs (1549)
• Philippines
5 Jul 07
yeah i know, friends can only do so much and i totally agree on sometimes causing strain in your friendship because everyone faces problems everyday so i guess that's what shrink's are for. but they're really expensive. the upside of having friends giving you advices would be that they know you more than anyone else so they'd know what ticks you off, what relieves you and sometimes their company alone is really comforting. thanks for the response.
2 people like this
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
5 Jul 07
Hmmn.. How much does it cost to seek an advice from a shrink nowadays?LoL
I'd rather seek my friend's company, it's free and they know more about ourselves than any other person, even our family. It's like seeking a second opinion, as we all have numbers of friends to give advice and listen to most of our peers.
Remember, Shrink's are payed because it's their job. They don't care of what or who you are, they're just out to collect our money!;)
2 people like this
@Bizziebod (3497)
•
4 Jul 07
I guess it would really depend on the problem, but in general I would rather talk to a friend, they know me and know my needs much more than any stranger could ever know, then there's the problem if I would want a stranger to know my problems and whether I would be able to open up to them either.. so friends everytime for me!
2 people like this
@diannebcrs (1549)
• Philippines
5 Jul 07
true, sometimes we need someone who knows us personally to give us sound advices.
1 person likes this
@saurabh_5b (81)
• India
5 Jul 07
i would talk to a friend coz they are more close to us..also know wher we stand in life....they can console or help us better based on ground realities...what u have to say ?
@jjhon1224 (26)
• United States
5 Jul 07
I guess the key to your question is, "major problem". If you have a major problem, I would say you would find better answers in trustworthy friends. People who know you and have history with you will know you better than any shrink, and be able to judge how to best help you through a tough situation. However, if you are talking about manic depression, that is no longer a "major problem", but a true medical problem. In that case, you would need a shrink.
2 people like this
@illflexx (49)
• United States
5 Jul 07
I usually get my encouragement from family and friends. I do not use shrinks. If it is an extremely serious issue, I commit it into the hands of the good Lord like I do everything else. It is God who gives the shrinks the ability to help people so I think it makes sense to go directly to Him.
@fuzzEbluebathrobe (378)
• United States
4 Jul 07
Why pay $110.00 per hour to have someone tell you "you are crazy" when your friends will do it for free.
But seriously if you suspect you are really having a manic depressive episode see your physician first.
For the normal stresses and problems in life we all sometimes face having a a good friend refocus you on thinking clearly and moving forward in a positive direction is sometimes all that is needed.
2 people like this
@CheekyHeD3viL (185)
•
4 Jul 07
oh thats a toughy!! lol, well for a few years now, nearly all my friends have each come to a boiling point of breaking down with worries/problems etc....
personally, i cant relate to the question as ive not really been at that state to seek help and advise!
but to tell u the truth, alot of my friends where really pleased to hzave someone to talk to about anything knowin it wouldnt go any further than the 4 walls it was spoken in!!!
i suppose if u where confident enough in ur friends not to tell others, ud be more happy about letting them help you! why waste all that money on a shrik, (that doesnt actually care how you feel) when u have a few friends that could tell u the excat same thing for free! instead of money, ur gainin more and more respect and trust from a friend that does care about your well-being!!
@diannebcrs (1549)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
hmmm very good point you have there, thanks for sharing. yeah i forgot the very important difference that friends have versus shrinks and that would be sincerity when they listen to your problems. so i guess they would be the best persons to turn to for advices then, huh? oh yeah, and then there's the expensive fee factor too. lol!
