Why do men hold grudges so long?

I could not agree with you more. Carl is exactly the same. I fell asleep next to my son on the bed the other night at 7pm and he was mad at me the next day because that happened and I never spent any time with him that evening. Well, never the less to say that it is now two days later and he is still harbouring a grudge. I bought him two new trousers yesterday and he will not even try them on because he is still harbouring a grudge. I am not sure what it is with men. It is absolutely crazy that they can live like this. And yet it is a choice that they have made to be like that yet they choose to stay in this state of mind until they are satisfied, that we have been "punished" sufficiently. I am not sure what one can do about it though. I just try my best to ignore it and carry on with my life. He will get over it on his own. I must also say that when I ignore him then he seems to get over it quicker than if I keep trying to make conversation or apologize to him. Good luck... I hope he snaps out of it soon...LOL

It's a simple fact that men differ from women emotionally. I've experience that one time and it really took a long time for me to forgive them. I think it's natural. I think men got a deeper pride than women.

wow. it sounds like your husband has a lot of growing up to do!! Do you have more than one computer? if so, I would try getting a wireless router so he can get online on another computer. do you work online from home? if so, there's no reason why he was insist on using it during your work hours. like I said though, it sounds like he just has a lot of growing up to do. his behavior is very childish

Well its not that they want to hold it for so long, sometimes they know they are wrong but admitting it quickly is the problem. E.G.O is the problem.

My experience would suggest to me that it is women that hold grudges longer, though I suspect it is equal. Some people hold grudges some don't all the best urban

If I am to use my husband as a basis, I think men hold grudges because they hardly vocalize what they feel. Maybe they don't think it is manly to express anger, frustration or whatever emotion that they just bottle these things inside. I don't think they are interested in threshing out issues and discussing them so nothing gets resolved and every old issue pops up during arguments. With my husband, I have to keep explaining whatever I've explained to him before. What's worse about them holding grudges is that they sometimes don't listen.

yes men do keep grudges for so long, my partner use to keep them for so long, but now if he holds a grudge i just ignore it and its usually him coming back to me lol . your partner will be fine, will get over it soon. just what they are good for lol

What transaction does he want to do that it made him very angry not being able to use the computer? I have a doubt on that if I were you. And why is he using the computer late at night until the wee hours after you are asleep? Is he chatting with someone? Maybe you should check on this. I am not suggesting anything, but a precaution is necessary sometimes.

My husband can hold a grudge like no one I know! His mom said something about him before our oldest son was born over 8 years ago and he still hasn't forgiven her for it! He still only talks to her when he has to, or when she asks him a direct question. For a long time he wouldn't answer her at all, even a direct question. He won't let go of his anger. My mom said something that ticked him off a couple of years ago, as well, and he won't talk to her, either. If she doesn't ask him, specifically, a question he won't talk to her at all. If they weren't family he wouldn't have anything to do with them at all. There have been people that ticked him off and he wrote them off and never spoke to them again. He doesn't do with with me or our two sons, but anyone else might as well write him off if they tick him off. I may get mad but I get over it. Within a week or so my anger is spent and I forget about it. My mom made me mad with what she said, as well, but I got over it. Life is to short to stay mad at people. You never know when something is going to happen to you, or anyone else, and I would feel horrible if I stayed mad at someone and then something happened to them before things could be repaired. I just don't have the energy to keep the anger and hurt alive. It's easier to get over it and move on. Well, this obviously depends on what the arguement was about, but in most cases they aren't worth the energy spent being angry forever.

lets say it is in their DNA

I don't know. And why do they start with allegations about plots and sceams? If he's mad then it takes forever for him to let it go. Sometimes it take him days to get over it. But when I'm mad at him, he thinks that as soon as he says it's over then I'm not mad anymore. What's up with that?

I don't agree that men hold grudges a long time, maybe your husband does and for this instance. I certainly don't hold grudges against my wife over a disagreement, nor do I hold against anyone over anything. I will get a disagreement settled and move on, all within less than an hour. Everyone seems to have a need to use a PC nowadays. My wife and I had this PC contention years ago, so we've been having at least 2 PCs in the home for six years now. If both parties require to use the internet as well, then have the PCs networked. That will certainly resolve a contentious problem, like the one you faced. Actually it is useful to have 2 PCs around, because you can back up critical files of one PC in another. If one PC is down, you will not be crippled 'cos you can still use the other while the defective one is being fixed.

YUP! I am the type to get it over with and move on but my man is like yours, holds it for a while. I think they just need that time to cool off and then they will be fine. I think they do have to think that they are right for the most part and when they are wrong it hurts their ego or something. In our house though he wants me off the computer to be with him, he never touches the thing, it is all mine. ;)

I think it's pretty harsh to pin grudges only on men. My husband is always quick to apologise and never holds a grudge. If anything, it's probably me that doesn't let something go as quickly as I should. I think it's really just about the individual. Maybe he thinks that the issue has not been resolved yet, maybe he thinks that you are avoiding the issue? It's hard to tell what would be going on...

Hi Beauty, I am not sure that it is just men that hold grudges. More likely it is individuals that hold grudges. I have had first hand experience with that and it was my wife who held a grudge with me for every little disagreement we had. It contributed to unhappy times. My advice to anyone who holds grudges is to get over it and move on, everyone will be much happier. cheers,