Looking for a little advise

i feel really bad for this girl. If her father is causing her emotional issues, she whoudl not be with him. At that age, the courts should allow the child to state who they would rather live with and why. i know you don't have the funds for a custody battle right now, but i hope you do soon. SHe can be a good witness for you if she is willing to speak out about the problems. Hoefully her father will be reasonable and realize he is not hte person that should be taking care of her and relinquish custody to you sand your new husband. Now, as far as when to tell him...i would tell him that your daughter is unhappy and wants to live with you closer to when she is supposed to go "home." If you tell him now, he might demand she goes back right away instead of finishing her visit with you. It would be better for her if you waited. Good luck and please keep us all posted.

If possible, try to talk her father to let her stay here. Since he has not even called up to check on her, he might not bother much to let her stay with you. Only thing is to be sure that he does not take it as a personal or ego issue. Also, try talking to your daughter to convince her to talk to her father about it. Praying that it gets solved positively for you soon.

Usually, by the time a child turns fourteen, even though they are not emancipated, they are able to advise the court which parents they wish to live with. I think that following the path of least resistance first is a very good thing to do. Have her talk to about staying with you and see how her father takes that news. He may welcome it at this point in her life. If not, at the very least, you should consult with a lawyer about having a guardian appointed for your daughter who will carefully review the situation and make the recommendations based on their findings. I do hope that it works out that she gets to stay with you. She sounds like she needs a stable home and she is at a very fragile time in her life when stability is of the utmost importance.

Try talking with him, and make sure he just doesn't get offended. Since he hasn't returned her calls maybe he won't care so much if your daughter does not return to him, and he will let her stay with you. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you and your family good luck!

i think u r going gud and you are a good women

I don't have any advice as to WHEN to tell him, but I do want to mention that if you live in the US there should be a legal aid society near you. They work on a sliding scale, so it doesn't end up costing you a fortune. If there is abuse of ANY kind going on, and he doesn't cooperate with her living with you, you may have no choice but to start a custody battle to keep her safe from him. Words can hurt as much as fists. I know from experience. If she is willing, you may also need for her to talk to the department of human services where he lives to get them involved. Before you do anything like that though, make sure there is nothing they could hold against YOU, or you may both end up losing her. I wish you the best of luck. You are in a tough situation.

Please try not to put your daughter in the middle of this, perhaps it should not be your daughter who tells your ex-husband she wants to live with you. You can file mediation papers with a court, if you're in the USA, most states will allow a child to choose where they want to live once the child is over 12 years of age. Mediation is often better than going before a judge. Check it out through Family Court Division in your county. Good luck!

Since your daughter is 13 you may be able to handle a custody hearing without a legal representative. It would be better if you had a lawyer, but at 13 the judge will ask to speak to your daughter & her opinions will be taken into account. As far as what papers to file, the clerk at the court room will help you.

You should talk to her father about it right away. Honestly, I think your daughter is old enough to decide who she lives with! Just because she isn't 18 doesn't mean she doesn't know what's best for her. And right now it seems obvious you are. But you guys def. need to tell him right away! And I'm sorry you can't afford to take him to court :( That was going to be my suggestion. Is there ANYONE who can help you with this?

If you really want your daughter to live with you, why don't you call her father and offer to pay her child support? If Her father does not have to pay he may allow you to keep her.

you should try talking to her father, if your daughter does not want to return! isn't there someone else you can talk too? i wish you well and hope it works out for the better, cant imagine what you are going through, the worst stress a mother can go through is the stress when worrying about the welfare of their children!! Good luck!

I would try to talk to the father about it. Maybe he will see that it would be better to have her with you. If not maybe talk to her teachers and see if you canget their support to go to the childern's aid to try to get the daughter removed from the house if it is this bad. But if nothing works, just let your daughter know how much you love her and wish you could be there for her. Good Luck and God Bless you all ;)

i know that maybe hard to choose but u can pray to GOD to give u the best time. and i will also pray for that time :)

If I was you I would go for it, When I turned 13 I was able to make the choice of who I wanted to live with, but that may have only been in the state I lived in. I dont see why a judge would not listen to a 13 yr. old either way, and if you are finacially able to have her with you then she should be able to live with her mother. Girls need their Moms. Who knows maybe her Dad will be okay with her living with you. It seems to me he is trying to avoid her anyways.

I wish you all the luck in the world with your delima and you know your child much better then I do but please please take a min and think before you do anything rash.. I have raised 5 children to adulthood and now have a 14 and a 13 year old granddaughter Let me assure you the bad habits and such you are seeing is most likely her way of acting out since she is not with her father ... so Like I said try and i know this is hard being her mom but try to look at both sides and be objective at least some. I think your best bet would be to talk to your daughter more and then YOU talk to her father putting the burden on her is not right. And if you are concerned with her saftey or her well being in her fathers house ? then by all means report your concerns to someone in your town or near where she lives have your concerns listened to by child welfare or someone ... As a mom your first concern should be for her safety and well being... believe me I have never known a 13 year old girl who is totaly happy there is no such animal I will say a prayer for all of you and hope you find a not dramatic conclusion to this matter