HOW many times is TOO many to let GROWN children MOVE back HOME?

I would have to say in my opinion that it is up to you. You are the one that will have to deal with your daughter and grandaughter. There is no set amount of times. I think that as long as the parent is willing then why not. If you do not want her moving in however then it is probably THAT time :) Time to say No.

OMG! This sounds like a Dr Phil show! I remember when my daughter and her husband lived with his parents. The parents ran their lives. My feelings were that the parents were enabling bad behavior on the kids part. My step daughter moved back in with us a few months ago. At least she doesnt have kids. I would still rather not have the extra person here. Stand your ground and set rules right from the start. Maybe make her pay you rent, (which you could save for her as a deposit for somewhere else)Set a deadline. From my experience with my kids and their families, you have to, other wise nothing will be accomplished. I remember when my younger daughter and her husband wanted to move in with us while they saved money to move someplace else. Of course they were thinking of getting a student loan to go on vacation. Needless to say, I told then I did not think it was a good idea. They may it on their own. Good luck!

I would have a hard time deciding that, especially if there is a grandchild involved. It also sounds like it might be cheaper to let her move back. I think the best thing to do would be to require a minimum amount of rent, limit the amount of childcare you will give her (even if it means you leave the premises before she does) and have a share of the household upkeep and cooking she will do. It might also be good to have a contract set up about when she will leave. Good luck friend.

well some would set a limit but there are others like myself that does not care if they stay forever. I have two grown children well three now because my youngest just graduated from high school and is leaving for college in August. They have their own place but they are at my house almost every day and sometime they stay overnight and I love and welcome it.T6hey rarely ask me for anything, but I tell them that this is their home and they can come back whenever they want to as long as they know how to be respectful. My door is always open to my childrens.

There comes a time when you have to put your foot down, texas, and this looks like it. Explain to your daughter that she is being irresponsible, and that is no way to raise her child. She is not setting a good example for the child. You might need to help her make out a budget that she can stick with so her bills will be sure to get paid on time. Reassure her of how much you love her and want her to be an independent adult. If she is rational, she will see your side of things. Good luck.

I let mine each move back once. They had to pay rent, and do chores etc and live under my rules. Funny how when you set guidelines for adults they seem to recover very fast!

I think only you can answer that question. My daughter has moved back home because we offered it to her because she is going back to school full time. She does work part time and pays us what she can. She has 2 more years until she finishes. I do believe that this will be the only time but she is my daughter and I will always have a place available for her. She is single and does not have kids but she does have 2 cats. Anyway, only you can decide.

It sounds like it is time for her to stand on her own two feet. She has taken advantage of your help long enough. She knows that if she gets in a pickle, she can come home. I would make it not so easy for her. I would not let her live on the street, but I would set down some rules. My daughter came home 2 times and when she left the second, we told her to make sure that is what she wanted to do because we were not letting her move back in, unless it was a real emergency, out of her control.

I do belive that when we deide to get children we are parents for life, no matter how old they are and that we have an obligation to make sure that they are ok, HOWEVER I also think that this is a matter of her using u, and that is not ok. sounds to be like she has some growing up to do. Itsound as though she is not very responsible, and one reason might be that she knows that someone will be there to help her out no matter what. i would suggest you talk to her and let her know that u will not always be around to help her and that it is about time that she learns to be responsible for what she do and doesnt do.

This one's a little tough.... Because there's a child involved, i would definitely say yes off the bat to insure that she was taken care of properly, but the thing is, she also needs to know that she can't come running to mommy to take care of her if she messes up. I'm sure she has friends, and if there's a father involved in the child's life, then she needs to be going to him also... she can't just go to you every time she needs something... Maybe it's time to put your foot down... I know you love her and your granddaughter, but sometimes, enough is enough.... And i see how much stress your under, it's just not fair... you should be enjoying your free days while you can...

Wow - I have 4 (3 grown) and I've never had one just show up at my door like that - my oldest actually moved back 3 times but he asked first 2 times and the 3rd we sat down and discussed it and both decided it would be good for each of us.

I am not sure as I have not encountered such before. Perhaps you can share your concern about her moving back home? I think my mum would be happy to have the grownup child home. Personally, I don't mind if my house can accomodate. I like large families.

Oh, gee how "nice". I hate to say it texasclassygal, but this is awfully nervy of your daughter---Whenever your daughter does move in with you, and it seems this has been a constant pattern, does she ever offer to pay any of the expenses --sure doesn't sound like it...How old is she anyway?

I have always made my home open to my girls. They know I am here for them if ever they should need. They don't take advantage maybe because I've never allowed it. When they are here they are to be working and helping out with bills and household chores. If the reason for them being here is that they are out of work, they best be looking for it. I will provide food and shelter but not the nice hair products, clothes and extras. I have no tolerance for a couch potato. I love them and am more than willing to work with them and help out but I won't carry their weight. I also have one daughter that is forever borrowing money. I write it down and she does pay it back. Sometimes when I am able, I write it of and she looks at it as a gift and is very appreciative. As hard as it is , you have to push your children to be self-sufficient. You wont always be here to help them out. They need to be able to take care of themselves!

Ohhh noo..i feel for you with al my heart! I know that you love your daughter and your grandbaby,.but//she is using you and the more you help her and let her move in the more dependent she is going to be untill one day..You wil be totally bringing her and her baby up until her baby is an adult! I dont mean to sound harsh but i know from experinece..my sister is 31..and her daughter is 9..they live right smack beside each other.and mom is still carrying her and her daughter..bills,,food..she lets her use the van..doesnt have to pay for insurance either..mom watches her whenever she wants..hell if she has a bad dream..yes a bad dream she goes over to moms house..and this is MY SISTER!! she is totally dependent and when mom goes..she wont know what to do with herself..or how to live..There is helpiong your child when they need it..Lord knows I have had my fair share of hardships..but i fear that what your doing is makin it so your daughter wil be the same way..or already is..they need to learn for themsleves..and i know it wil be hard on you..i truly do,but ithink its time for both of them..(my sister included) to grow up and become an adult..they are moms now..what they see is how there children will learn..and i would hate to see your wonderful grandbaby being the same way..i wish u lots of luck with this my dear..:)

Well it depends on why they're moving back home. I moved out and then back home 3 times before finally leaving for good at age 22. Mind you i've only been gone for a year but there's no way I'm going back now. If your child is bludging off you and is too lazy to hold a job and pay for a house of their own well taht's a problem but if they simply miss home, there' sno problem letting them move back.